Page 5 of Deluge

I always manage, no matter how hard a situation is.

I turn my thoughts away from yet another problem in the damn house as the cool liquid splashes into my mouth, then down my throat.

I decide that now is as good a time as any to read the note seemingly burning a hole into the table I dropped it on.

I set the jug down in its place, use the back of my hand to wipe my mouth, then flick the top half of the folded note open.

I thought you lived here.

I quirk an eyebrow.

“You thoughtwholived here?” I muttered under my breath.

A fist quickly forms around the paper as I toss it to the side, then grab my jug.I’m not going to worry about cryptic messages today, I decide as I head into the living room.There are bigger things to worry about once I get my ass in gear and head back tohishouse.

ChapterFour

Semi-scaldingwater cascades down my back as I tilt my head toward the shower spout and wash the rest of the soap off my face.

I don’t know why, but I always like to feel as presentable as possible whenever I sit outside his home.

Maybe it’s because I want him to open the door one night, see me, then drop dead from the fucking shock of knowing that not everyone in this world needs him around to survive.

I sigh heavily as I drop my hands from my face, then reach for the knobs, turning the water off.

It’s what I like to tell myself, but the truth is, I want him to fucking notice me for more than a few seconds. For more than just a mere acknowledgment that I’m indeed his blood. For more than whatever he thinks I’ll become.

I saw it in his eyes.

The monster that he searched for in mine.

And for a brief moment in time, I felt afraid because I could almost swear I saw the reflection of the demons that have been tormenting him for his entire life.

Fuck.

I’ve never had a father in my life before. Not even an “uncle.”

Hailey never dated anyone.

She would just sit in her room by that damn window, watching the street and only coming to life when she thought she would see his truck.

Come to think of it, after the first few years of our lives, we didn’t have a mother either.

I whip the towel off the shower rod, wrap it around my hips, tie a terrycloth knot just below my navel, and then walk over to the sink.

Using the palm of my hand, I wipe away enough of a streak to see my face.

I still don’t recognize him.

The person looking back at me is the same one that showed up after graduation when I was alone again.

The one that never had a father.

Lost their mother after knowing her for only a few years.

The stranger that took the life of the only person that ever really loved him because that’s whathewould have done.

I drop my chin to my chest as my hands grip the edges of the damp sink.