Page 63 of From the Ashes
Clearing my throat, I roll my shoulders. I haven’t spoken to Joey’s brother, my ex-boyfriend, for so long. We didn’t part on the best of terms when I told him what an asshole he was for treating me like a piece of trash. I was undeniably in love with him, and he didn’t have enough time in the day for me.
That’s what it came down to.
Deacon is why I left Lafayette and my parents to find myself in a new city. Baton Rouge became my home, and Joey came with me. Maybe if I hadn’t been so hurt by Deacon, I wouldn’t have left Lafayette. Maybe if I had never come here, Joey would still be alive.
Shaking my head from those ridiculous thoughts, I hit the call button.
The blame game will get me nowhere.
The phone rings a few times. It’s late, and for a moment, I think he won’t answer when his voice chimes down the line. “Hey, buttercup, I haven’t heard from you in areeeallong time. Is this a booty call?”
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head. “Deacon, you know I don’t like you calling me buttercup. It’s juvenile.”
“Why? Because I’ve been calling you that since you were ten?”
Clenching my eyes shut, visions of Deacon, Joey, and me running around their backyard wash through my mind. My eyes flood as I begin to cry, not being able to hold it back.
“Makaylie? Makaylie, what the fuck’s wrong?”
I can’t pull myself together as fat tears roll down my face and wracking sobs heave from my body.
“Makaylie, tell me who hurt you right now. I swear to God!”
I try to form words, but they’re coming out more like muffled groans as I try to tell him what happened.
“Makaylie, put Joey on the phone,” he orders, and my stomach lurches as dizziness engulfs my body.
“I’m going to be sick,” I somehow manage to mumble as I stand, racing to the bathroom with the phone still in my hand. I drop to my knees and hurl into the bowl.
The faint yelling of Deacon from my cell echoes through my heaving, but my stomach won’t quit. I heave until there is nothing left. My eyes continuously run with tears, then I slowly slide onto the floor, reaching for my cell as I swipe my mouth with the back of my arm.
“Makaylie, for fuck’s sake, talk to me,” he screams down the line, and I let out a small cough as I crawl into a ball on the floor.
My bottom lip trembles as I exhale. “I’m so… so sorry,” I whisper, and he exhales.
“Thank God, you’re back. I’m already in the car and on my way. It usually takes an hour to get there, but I’ll be quick. I promise. I am coming, buttercup. Hold on.”
Somehow, the idea of Deacon coming over doesn’t terrify me like it normally would. I need him right now. I need to be close to Joey, and I can’t tell Deacon what happened to her over the phone, or at least the story the Fedswantme to tell him.
“Hurry, Deacon, I don’t want to be alone,” I whimper.
I hear his car accelerate, and he growls down the line. “I’ll be there soon, Makaylie. Just hold on. Stay on the line with me until I get there, okay?”
Sniffling back my emotions, I lay on the cold tiles and nod. “I’m here.”
“Just get comfortable. Are you safe right now?” he asks.
“Yes.”
“Good… just listen to my voice. I will keep talking to you on my way over to calm you down. So let me talk to you about my day, okay?”
A weak smile crosses my face, and I nod.Maybe Deacon’s not such an asshole after all.But as he starts trying to distract me, my mind wanders off, thinking about Cain. Wondering what he’s doing. Where he is right now. How I wish it were him coming to peel me off the bathroom floor.
I don’t know how long Cain is going to be gone. But what I do know is that there’s a pain inside me that feels like it is tearing me apart, and I honestly don’t know how I can even begin to repair it.
Or if it ever will be.
Maybe I’ll be broken forever.