Page 68 of Stand and Defend
My eyes stare into his; he’s so intense. It’s as if he can see me through the black glass visor.
“I never want you to stop.” I exhale. “Your touch is... everything. It’s exciting, sexy, fun... It makes me forget about my past. I feel wanted and powerful. It’s the first time a man’s touch has felt like my decision, like I’m still in control.”
His jaw tics. “What aboutanyof that is bad, Jordan?”
“My life is a mess. And you’re his best friend.”
“You know how I feel about messes.” He flips my visor up, exposing me. “Iwashis best friend. But now I’m the man who enjoys making his fiancée come on my cock... and she’s fucking gorgeous when she cries my name.”
I am?My breath whooshes out of me, and I’m sure he’s getting a good look at the blush burning my cheeks. His eyes crinkle with a smile, satisfied he’s hit his mark, based on my obvious physical response. I glance away.This is all a game to him, making me pink and flustered. He doesn’t understand how deeply I’m affected by his words. He can’t say those things to me and not mean them. “Don’t be a dick?—”
He pries my helmet off and holds my chin in place. “You’re gorgeous all the time, but when your eyebrows push together and your mouth opens with those big brown eyes, begging me to push you over the edge...fuck, I’m powerless against you.”
My lips part, and memories of that night flood my thoughts. The cocky smirk on his face like he knew exactly which buttons to push and levers to pull. The rush of every time he brought me to climax. Blood surges through my veins, causing my heart to hammer. My teeth bite into my lower lip.
“Do you like the way I fuck you, Jordan?”
I can barely hear him over my pounding pulse. This has to stop. I snatch my helmet back and put it on.
“That’s what I thought,” he says.
I narrow my eyes at him but don’t deny it. My lip slides out from under my teeth, and my eyes drop to where his lips are behind his helmet. Good thing we have a barrier between us, if he kissed me right now, I’d be a goner.
I like the way he kisses and the way his hands roam my body when he does it. The way he presses the small of my back and cups my neck. I suck in an inhale and break eyecontact, flipping my visor down again. Watching him leer at me like I’m his next meal is a bad idea.
He gets off the bike, then mounts it, facing forward this time. I put my arms around his waist, and we take off without saying a word. I’m so turned on and frustrated by him. He must be having the same thoughts as I am, right? A few minutes later, I can’t stand the silence. “You’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“I never stopped.”
I groan. “Why is it so good?” Sex with Bryan never came close to the way it is with Cam. I don’t get it.
“Because our sexual chemistry is off the charts. You don’t have to be involved with someone to enjoy sex with them—we can use each other for pleasure without the romance. Friends with benefits isn’t uncommon.”
“I’d say we’re more like acquaintances-with-benefits.” That’s a lie, but I feel too pathetic to admit he’s the closest friend I have.
“We’re friends,” he says. I smile. “Stop being a brat.”
I inhale, about to retort, when music blasts through the helmet speakers and he revs the bike, shooting us forward. I wrap my arms tighter around his torso, my thighs tensing as I cling to him, and roll my eyes.
He’s not my type.He’s not my type. He’s not my type.
Across from me sits my financial manager, Robert, and my lawyer, Sean. The ride with Cam earlier today was a wake-up call. I still have business to take care of, so I can’t lose focus of my priorities. When we returned, I setup a meeting at Robert’s office to give them all the information I have at the moment.
I’m being issued new credit cards, and we’ve fixed the password issue from Bryan. I’ve cashed out some of my investments to tide me over and get money together in case I need to come up with a security deposit. The more I can pay in cash, the better. Even though Bryan’s name has been forcibly removed from my accounts, leaving a credit card trail makes me uneasy.
I can press charges and report domestic violence—but with no evidence?I’m not doing that. They’d ask why I waited until after he fired me to make the accusation. It’s a bullshit system, but I can’t risk losing any credibility.
Bryan ruined my life, not only on paper, emotionally too. But outside of the abuse, there’s not much I can charge him for. Technically, he didn’t steal any money from me. H&H’s official position on my termination was unrelated to Bryan, which we both know is bullshit. Minnesota is an at-will state, anyway.My car was reported stolen because he lied about ever switching the title into my name when he bought it.
He knew exactly what he was doing every step of the way.
He’s always been sneaky like that. He destroys people without having to face repercussions for his actions. Sure, I can put in place an order of protection, but I’d rather not attract any attention from law enforcement at the moment. Sean, my attorney, is not happy about my decision. He pinches his brow and lets out an exasperated sigh when I shake my head for the third time.
“Jordana. I strongly suggest you take my advice.”
I need to fly under the radar. If I press charges, I don’t want to know what he’d do to get me to drop them. Corner me at the grocery store, a gas station, local park—no, thankyou. I want him to think I’m hiding, scared—even if it is partially true. I’ll give him a false sense of security while I figure this out. I can’t let him suspect retaliation.
“I will—when I’m ready. I promise.” I have a few calls to make first.