Page 70 of Meegan

Keira appeared a moment later with Meegan’s fur coat and her purse, and then they were in the elevator.

“I’m sorry,” Olin said.

“Are you kidding me? You’re shivering. We are definitely going home.”

“Yeah. It’s okay.” That was Keira. “You are not the first person to hit the emergency exit and you will not be the last. You’re good.”

Stepping out into the cold, quiet night helped, but he was already under the waves. He needed to sleep it off. They said a hurried goodbye and Olin climbed into the backseat, Meegan sliding in beside him. She took his hand and muttered sweet things to him as he tried to settle into the seat and breathe. He could feel every weird inch of his body. His legs felt too long, his stomach hollowed out. His eyes felt too big for their sockets. It had been years since he’d felt this bad and he hated it.

By the time they got back to his house, Olin was more in control of his faculties. The warmer air in the car and being near Meegan had helped. Jeff offered to wait until they were inside and told Meegan to call him or 911 if things took a turn. In the back of his mind, Olin was so annoyed. He’d scared everyone with his stupid shutdown. He was able to open the door, disarm the alarm and find the dimmest light in the kitchen.

“Tell me what you need,” Meegan asked as she stepped out of her heels. Fuck, she didn’t even get to enjoy her outfit.

“I just need to lay down in the dark.”

“Okay, let’s go.” They made their way upstairs and Olin started to undress as soon as he knew he was near his bed. He stripped down to his boxers and climbed under his covers. His hands and feet were fucking freezing.

She slid in the bed beside him. She’d ditched the body suit. “Is touching okay?”

“Yeah, please,” he said before he amended, “No stroking, but, like, put your hands on me. Firm. Just not on my face.”

Meegan slid closer and rested her hand on his back. Heat slowly leaked back into his body. He closed his eyes and focused on breathing slowly, in and out. It took a while for his heart rate to slow down and finally he felt the second wave of the crash. He fell asleep.

twenty-two

When Olin woke up in the morning, his body felt better, but he also felt like a complete asshole. Meegan was still beside him in the sheets, fast asleep. He left her to use the restroom and when he came back, she was sitting up, the covers wrapped around her breasts. She was texting on her phone.

“Hey,” she said softly, a smile touching her face. “How are you feeling?”

Olin sat on the covers beside her. He didn’t realize how on edge he still was until she leaned up to kiss him. A warmth settled over him. “Better. I have to apologize for last night.”

“Oh no, you don’t. Olin, if we were at one of your events or out with your friends and I wasn’t feeling well, you’d have done the same for me. Can you tell me what happened? I don’t want to assume anything.” she asked, her tone loaded with understanding which made Olin feel worse.

Olin took a deep breath. He almost never talked about this. He hadn’t had a shutdown this intense in years and before that he hadn’t had the language for it. His dad just understood, and other people? He was Olin Breivik. He didn’t have to answer for his behavior ninety-nine percent of the time. Meegan deserved an explanation, though. “You know the fight, flight or freeze response?”

“Yeah?”

“Some people with autism have meltdowns that can look like lashing out or bursts of anger. For me, I freeze or shut down. If I’m dealing with sensory overload, talking or even thinking really hard makes it worse. I usually just keep quiet until I can leave the situation.” Olin glanced at the night stand. Her pasties were next to her diamond necklace. Her festive red thong was on the floor.

“What overloaded you last night?”

“The music, mostly. The DJ was good, but it was too loud. I was trying to hear you and talk to you and talk to people who are important to you. It’s like, my brain will focus on the most important thing and, if it can’t achieve that thing for whatever reason, it goes offline and there’s nothing I can do to reboot it until the environment changes. I leave places early all the time, but I’m me. People don’t argue with my excuses. And usually, the occasion doesn’t matter to me this much.”

“The party mattered to you?”

“Yes. I wanted to meet your friends. I wanted to see how The Club worked. I wanted to see Daniel and Keira again, and what Keira had in store for you. I definitely wanted to see the pig roast. I wanted to fuck you and I wanted to be there with you. I always want to be with you. I’m just pissed that my whole body and brain wouldn’t cooperate. I was physically overwhelmed and then thinking too hard about my role there with you? They collided together.” Olin hated to admit that he might not be up to the task of being her Dom in a club setting like that, but he had to tell the truth.

“Okay,” Meegan said, like she’d made some sort of decision.

“What?”

“We’re not going back.”

“Why not?”

“Because. Why would I take you some place that literally makes you shut down? I would never do that to you, intentionally. I wouldn’t do that to anyone.”

Olin knew it was true, but that conclusion still didn’t sit right with him. “Is there a DJ there every time?”