Page 29 of Reclaiming River

River smiled and took my hand. “I would love to take you on a tour. Can we go and get a coffee first?”

“Anything you want.” I steered her toward the Italian restaurant which I’d discovered served the best coffee I’d ever tasted. We were silent, it was obvious we were both still processing our session. Hopefully, the picturesque property and two white americano coffees would help us find our balance.

I would do whatever it took to reclaim River as mine,permanently.

Chapter 13

River

After years together and everything we’d shared, you would think I wouldn’t have felt shy or awkward getting a cup of coffee with Cade. But I was grateful for the cup in my hand not only for the warmth but because it gave me something to fidget with while we talked. Having the ability to take a timely sip here and there to help me collect my thoughts was the perfect distraction.

Sharing my fears and thoughts had been stressful. But it was true that emotional burdens took a physical toll on a person. It felt like a large weight had been lifted by simply airing my fears and concerns. We still had a way to go, but the plan Catherine had given us seemed solid. I was happy Cade seemed like he was going to take everything seriously.

That had to mean there was a real chance of us moving forward, right?

There wasn’t a way to go back and fix things that had already happened. We had to move forward and discover what would work for us now. I had changed and so had he. New things were both exciting and terrifying, but hopefully, we would be facing them together.

Figuring out how to make things work in the isolated safe environment of the Ranch was easy. But when work and social lives got involved, how would we adapt? That was the crux of my nervousness; what happened after we left? If I decided our relationship couldn’t work outside of the confines of Rawhide, would he leave and go back to what had been our apartment and look for someone new? Maybe he could find a better submissive than me.

That thought ate at my confidence. Were we making a mistake trying to recreate something that I had failed at? I took a deep breath and tried to push away the destructive thoughts.

“Are those barns?” Cade’s question startled me.

“Huh?” I looked around trying to figure out what he was pointing at.

His smile warmed my insides. “I said, are those barns?”

He nodded to the left and I looked in that direction. The sight of the barn surprised me, I’d been so caught up in my concerns that I hadn’t noticed how far we had walked.

“Yes, well the huge red one is the barn. The building in front is the stables. They have horses, some are available for riding and some are rescue animals that have been abused. Those are either in therapy and can’t be ridden or are only rideable by someone really skilled.”

“Didn’t you enjoy riding when you were a kid? Have you taken advantage of the opportunity here?”

“Oh my goodness, yes!” My enthusiasm must have been amusing because he laughed. I’d missed the sound of his deep chuckle. He was a serious man who didn’t laugh often.

“Tell me about it.”

The eagerness in his tone made me blush. “I never thought I would have the opportunity to ride again, not many stables in the city. But during my first week here, I couldn’t resist watching the lessons. Horses are majestic; it’s like they have a magicalaura that pulls you in. Master Travis caught me watching and asked if I rode.”

“Who is Travis?”

Cade’s tone was a little sharp. Could he be jealous?

The thought was odd. We enjoyed exhibitionism and he’d never worried I would cheat. Maybe since we hadn’t been together he wasn’t as sure of things. It was petty but my heart fluttered at the idea he would be jealous. It meant he still cared.

I wasn’t cruel, though, so I made sure he knew there was nothing to worry about. “He’s the Stable Master and he and his wife are friends with Master Derek. Anyway, I told him I hadn’t ridden since I was a child and how much I’d loved it. Master Travis and Wren, she’s his wife and Little, set me up for time to ride the next day.” I smiled at the memory. “I’ve ridden as often as possible ever since.”

“I’m happy for you,” Cade commented, but offered nothing else. We walked in companionable silence for a bit.

It was time to open up. “In the beginning, I mean when I arrived, I didn’t want to interact with people. I was hurting so much and didn’t want to be a burden. But riding the horses was easy. I didn’t have to worry or talk, I could just lose myself in the ride. I think riding and speaking with Master Travis and Wren helped me to finally start opening up to other people.”

Cade tightened his grip and drew my hand toward his mouth, planting a soft kiss on the back of my glove. The emotions he evoked in me were overwhelming. I quickly took a sip of coffee to keep the words “I love you” silent.

“I’m glad you made friends. What other things have you done? I heard this place has a swimming pool. Have you tried to learn to swim?”

“It has two, and no, I haven’t.” A shiver ran down my spine. Cade knew I didn’t know how to swim, but I hadn’t shared thatI was afraid of water. Wanting to deflect from the topic, I asked, “Do you want to meet my favorite horse?”

As we were walking, I glanced over at the iconic red building and remembered the hayloft in the barn. I’d heard of several couples taking advantage of the privacy the location offered to get a little naughty. Cade had often teased me that one day he was going to take me under the open sky. The city didn’t offer places that would make that possible without getting arrested but we weren’t in the city. While it was too cold outside to be really exposed, it would be wonderfully close.