Page 65 of Tear of Destiny
No, he’s definitely not. But what he said to me made me so unsure of myself that I’ve started to doubt my own feelings. Noah wants to give me time – time that I don’t even need. I know what I want. I’m so angry right now. At myself, at Noah, at Ayden, who’s just thrown my life into chaos again. But this ends now. I’ll call Noah tomorrow and make it clear to him that his assumption was wrong and that it was just his own fears and concerns talking. Because there’s no doubt. Not for me!
I’m back in school because Noah understandably didn’t want us to spend the night together under the circumstances. He said I should try to sleep and give myself the space to find some peace. How am I supposed to do that without him?
I turn into my corridor and catch my breath when I see a personleaning against the wall.
Why? Why now? How come our timing is always so terrible?! I consider turning around and walking away, but it’s too late. Ayden’s seen me and he’s coming toward me.
“Hey, I was waiting for you,” he says. “I wanted to talk to you again.”
I shake my head and can’t bring myself to look at him. Am I afraid of how he might make me feel?
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I say in a cold voice as I walk to my door.
“Then at least listen to what I have to say,” he says, blocking my way. He’s right in front of me, way too close. I nervously look up, into his green eyes, and I instantly realize that this was a mistake. My throat constricts, and my heart contracts painfully. Tears well up in my eyes, and I wish I could hide my weakness from him.
“Tess,” Ayden says softly, tentatively lifting his hand as if he wants to reach out to me. He hesitates, not daring to touch me at first. But when he sees the tears on my cheeks, he caresses my hair. I instantly feel a tingling sensation, an invigorating rush that fills me up and makes my heart race.
“No,” I reply. “Please don’t. Don’t keep doing this to me.”
I see the pain in his eyes. He swallows and struggles to find the right words.
“I just want to be happy,” I say quietly, “and every time I think I can, you show up and mess everything up again. It’s not fair. You have someone new, and so do I. Please don’t keep turning my life upside down.”
He frowns, then opens his gorgeous lips and says, “Tess, I don’t know who you’re talking about. I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
His hand is still in my hair, caressing it so tenderly that more tears stream down my cheeks. Why does it have to hurt somuch?
“I can’t get over you that quickly,” he whispers.
I look up at him in surprise. A mistake because his eyes suddenly hold me captive. But I can’t let them! It’s over; I’m done. I’m happy, and I want a fresh start with Noah. He doesn’t deserve to get hurt. And just now I was so sure of what I wanted. So why does this certainty suddenly seem to be fading away?
“Ayden, please, don’t!” I beg him again. “I’m with Noah, and we’re happy.”
I know my words hurt him, but that’s exactly why I have to say them. He needs to know that there’s no going back, no matter how often we have this feeling of being magically drawn to each other. Ayden made his decision, and now so have I.
His eyes flash with pain, and his lips narrow slightly. His fingertips trace my cheek like an almost imperceptible breath of air, and maybe that’s why it’s so compelling. But I can’t let this happen. Not when I was just about to sleep with Noah, and now, thanks to Ayden, everything seems to be falling apart. I can’t throw myself into his arms and let him comfort me!
“Then why do you look so unhappy?” he murmurs.
I shake my head. “It’s not like that.” With these words, I finally manage to tear my eyes away from him, and it’s like waking from a trance. Rage bubbles up in me, so searing hot that it consumes me. I quickly push Ayden away from me and snarl hatefully at him, “Leave me alone! Stay away from me. It’s over! Forever!”
He’s so taken aback by the ferocity of my outburst that all he can do is stare at me, stunned. I take this opportunity to unlock my door, slam it behind me, and slowly sink to the floor. I can’t hold back the tears, and I rest my head on my knees. I’m racked with sobs and just don’t know what’s wrong with me.
Chapter 28
Itake another deep breath and turn into the street where I’m supposed to meet Noah. We’ll walk to Alessandro’s house together. I’d be lying if I said I’m even remotely okay today. That encounter with Ayden a few days ago really upset me, and for a long time, I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said to me. I kept remembering the way he looked at me, the way he touched me, and the feelings that triggered in me. But that’s understandable, right? I mean, I cared about him a lot. And I was already going through a tough time. Noah’s probably right when he says I just need time. Things happened pretty fast with us.
When I see him, my heart beats faster, and I increase my pace. I press myself against him and greet him with a fiery kiss. My hands clasp the back of his neck, and I intensify our tongue play. I hear him gasp, and he pulls me even closer.
“Now that’s what I call a greeting,” he says with a laugh when I finally let go of him.
“I missed you,” I reply, and he tenderly rubs my cheek with his thumb.
“I missed you too.”
He looks at me like I’m some kind of really valuable gift. But then his eyes darken. They fill with doubt. We obviously need to talk. But not now. Right now we have more pressing things to do.
“You’re sure you want to do this?”