Page 25 of The Fool
I can’t help but take a glance in Nathaniel’s direction, only to find him still standing where he was, hands in his pockets, legs apart, looking very much the alpha in his expensive clothes - dark jeans, dark shirt, dark jacket, dark everything, just like him. His expression is no different from before as he stares at me with a sardonic and menacing grin all over his face.
I just about manage to turn away and look at James, but from the expression on his face, I know he’s correctly guessed as to what’s happened. Shame takes over me again, and he pulls me in for a hug, no doubt glaring at Nathaniel from over my shoulder.
“Ok, baby, I got you,” he whispers. His kindness is the final push for my tears to run over my cheeks, revealing just how much I’ve let Nathaniel get to me.
“I’ll get Lily to send my number. Bea, call me if you need me,” he says before kissing my forehead with so much warmth behind it, I want to evaporate into a puddle on the floor. He seems to see this in me, so walks me toward the exit where there is a line of cabs already waiting. “Iwillsee you next week because if you let him stop you from going, I will come and drag your ass there myself.”
“I will, thank you so much, James,” I reassure him with a sniff, knowing I need to leave soon, for the hard and ugly crying is just a moment away from exploding out of me. “Tell the others I threw up or something and I’ll see them on Lily’s big day.”
Chapter 9
Bea
When I arrive home, sometime at around one in the morning, Ben and Leah are still up watching a movie while polishing off my bottle of wine from Finn. At first, Leah looks at me with excitement, hoping my evening has gone well and I have gossip to share. My evening had been going well; I was beginning to feel like the me from before life dealt me the blow that it did, but then Nathaniel Carter happened. She sees my puffy red eyes and jumps up to wrap her arms around me.
“What the hell happened?” she asks, holding me in a sisterly-like embrace. Kindness only undoes me even more, so I end up whimpering and shuddering all over her.
“Did someone do something to you, because if they did, I swear to God, I will draw blood!” I hear Ben starting to growl from beside me.
“I’m fine, I just ran into Nathaniel while I was out,” I explain, not having the strength to lie. “He asked why the fuck I was there and accused me of being ‘inappropriate’.”
“Oh, that’s it!” Ben snaps, now beginning to pace about with his entire body looking clenched. “This dude has got to seriously pay! I’m talking shoving a red-hot poker up his ass, tying his balls to a lead weight, and watching him fall down into the Grand Canyon or something.”
“You paint a pretty picture, you idiot,” I manage to laugh through my tears.
“Bea, I’m going to have to agree with your brother on this one,” Leah says softly, all the while stroking my hair. “This is getting out of hand.”
Sighing heavily, because I have to admit that she’s right, I nod in defeat, even though I really don’t want to jeopardize my job.
“Look, I’m going to talk to Cameron; I decided that last night with Finn, but not in the week leading up to his wedding, I don’t think that’s fair. I’ll wait till he’s back from honeymoon and then I promise to go and talk to him. It will be a few weeks of keeping my head down, but then, hopefully, I can get something sorted.”
Yes, this is what I’ll do; it’s a plan of sorts. For now, I just want to get washed, go to bed, and sleep for the next month. After which, I can try and talk it through with Cameron.
_____
Nate
I spy Lily and Cam getting hot and heavy; he’s already ordered a car; I saw him speak on his cell only about ten minutes ago. They can’t get enough of one another. Don’t get me wrong, I’m over the moon for their happiness, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t admit that I was jealous…crazyjealous. I thought it was because of Lily, that maybe I regretted letting her go to Cameron when it could have been me getting ready to take her home and make love to her, just like he is now. But it’s not Lily, it’s what they have with one another. An unaltering faith in their love, knowing it’s strong enough to commit to the other one for the rest of their lives. A love like theirs makes me both envious and terrified at the same time.
“Just what in the hell is your problem, Nate?” James starts yelling at me, not giving a shit about the fact we’re surrounded by people. If looks could kill, I’d be dead in a dumpster right now.
“Not now, James,” I sigh, for in all honesty, I have no idea how to even explain myself. What I just did only confirms something I’ve been trying to deny for a long while now; Beatrice Summers has crossed over from being the object of my frustration through hatred, into the object of my frustration through desire. I couldn’t even tell you when it happened, but what I feel for her is driving me to distraction – in the office, in the bedroom, in the shower, pretty much everywhere. It’s a feeling that needs to be squashed, just like I did with Lily. However, there are two major differences between her and Lily - I don’t have any more brothers, and Bea is everywhere. Hence why I lost my shit when I saw her here tonight, which admittedly, wasn’t my greatest moment, but seeing her in a ridiculously sexy dress and a pair of heels that took my line of sight straight to her beautifully sculpted legs rendered me temporarily insane.
“No, let’s!” he snaps. “When the hell did you stop being the Nate Carter who is loved by everyone, who gave everyone a chance, and who would never, ever, treat a woman the way you did tonight? Where is that guy, because the asshole before me is nothing like him. That Nate was someone I was proud to call my friend.”
“You wanna know where he is?” I shout at him, to which he nods, almost sizing me up and getting ready to make this physical. “I have no idea, James, I don’t know where he’s gone!”
He looks at my sorry-looking expression and eventually moves back. I take the opportunity to get the hell out of this place so I can get some air outside, far away from the noise and flashing lights, the eyes, the sweaty bodies, and the expectation to be something I’m not. As soon as the coolness of early morning hits my tired eyes, I let out a breath of relief.
“Shit,” James says with a long sigh, “you gonna tell me about it then?”
“Will you let me say no?” I laugh mirthlessly. He laughs with me before shaking his head but also places his hand on my shoulder in a gesture of friendship. “Fancy a coffee back at my place?”
“Well, you’re not really my type, but sure, ok.”
“Ass, I’m everybody’s type,” I joke, just as a taxi pulls up so we can jump inside.
Once inside my house for one, I begin making some strong coffee for the both of us. James emits a whistle as he walks around, taking in the interior that was designed by a professional. I’ve added my own personal touches, but it’s never truly felt like mine. It’s a show home, a generic version of all the other houses in this gated community for the wealthy. Cam’s house was the same, up until Lily moved in at any rate. Since they shacked up together, it’s slowly transformed into something that reflects who they are together. I haven’t yet had the time or the inclination to do anything to this place. And therein lies the problem; my life is work, nothing more.