Page 27 of The Fool
_____
Bea
The week passes by slowly, but thankfully, uneventfully too. To my utter shock, Nathaniel pretends like Saturday never happened. He’s even saidpleaseandthank youon several occasions, though he completely avoids eye contact altogether. Perhaps he feels bad about it, or maybe he was more intoxicated than I previously thought, or maybe they all laid into him after I left. Whatever the reason for his sudden distance, I’m beyond grateful for it. In fact, if this continues, I might not need to have that conversation with Cameron after all.
When the day of the wedding finally arrives, I begin to feel nauseated. There’re going to be so many people there with their eyes on me, not to mention the entire management team. The last party I attended didn’t go so well, in fact, if things had gone according to plan, that night would have been my last. My hands begin to tremble over the thought of it all and I end up getting shampoo in my eyes and shouting out a torrent of curses, which only leads to me slipping over and landing on my butt.
“Bea? Bea, you ok?” Ben shouts as he comes rushing in, looking concerned and ready to draw blood. Unfortunately, he catches me butt naked on the floor, my wet hair everywhere, and tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Oh, God, oh, shit,” he gasps, flustering in an attempt to help me up, even though I’m flapping him away from me.
“Ben, for goodness’ sake, can you get me a towel or something?” I yell, knowing a lovely purple bruise is now forming over my right thigh.
“Yeah, right, sure,” he blurts out before grabbing for my robe that is hanging on the back of the door. He quickly wraps it around me before helping me back into my room where we both end up lying against my headboard, staring at an old family portrait, the only one I have. Ben is about seventeen, so I must be twelve, and Emma would have been ten, nearly eleven, just one year behind me. I keep it out because the girl in that photograph is happy. She’s happy because right next to her is her best friend. That little girl will always be my best friend, even if I no longer talk to the woman she grew into.
“So, why did I just have to rescue my little sister off the floor?” Ben sighs. “The fact that you were naked is even more disturbing for a big brother to see, but I can bypass that for now.”
“Ben, do you know how many times I’ve had to see your naked wing wang flapping about the place because you can’t be bothered to put anything on after you and Leah have been…you know?”
“Stop avoiding the question, Bea,” he huffs, “is this about your boss again?”
“Not really, well, only partially,” I tell him with an insolent shrug.
“Ok, so tell me, what has you lying butt naked on the floor?” he says with a smug smile, so I nudge him…hard.
“The last party I went to was the one that ended with me ingesting a potentially lethal cocktail,” I explain. “I made so many mistakes back then.”
“You had good reason to feel like you did, Bea, you were surrounded by assholes,” he says, gesturing to the photograph again. “Bea, you were being bullied and betrayed; you needed help; that cocktail was you asking for it. I just wish I could have seen it before it had to get that far.”
“I’m not afraid of getting to that point again, Ben, and I know I can come to you now, but it still stirs up a lot of bad memories. Occasionally, I begin to think it might be me. What if I’m the problem? Bullied at school, bullied in the workplace; I’m the only thing in common here.”
“No one deserves to be bullied, Bea, or betrayed. Perhaps serial killers or rapists, or whatnot, but not people like you. What can I say? Some people are just plain assholes.”
“Yeah, but why do I keep running into them? Why me?” I ask with an exasperated sigh.
“Everyone runs into them, Bea, all the time,” he says matter of factly, “you just gotta learn from me, sis, and tell them to fuck the hell off!”
“I can’t do that to my boss, Ben,” I nudge him for the bad advice, “I’d be fired.”
“A job isn’t worth your health, Bea,” he says seriously. “And anyway, there are ways to say that to someone without using those words. It’s called HR, or maybe the papers?”
“I would never do that to Cameron and Lily,” I tell him. “Besides, Nathaniel has actually been ok this week. I have a feeling James might have talked some sense into him. I’ll be fine, honestly.”
“Well, if it isn’t, I’m going to hold you to that meeting with Cameron when he’s back from honeymoon, got it?”
“Yes, Mom,” I salute him with a silly grin on my face. “You seeing Leah tonight?”
“Er…no,” he says, now beginning to fidget with his fingers and avoiding all eye contact. “We had a huge argument yesterday, so we’re just taking some time to reset things.”
“Ben, is everything ok with you guys? Things seem different between you.”
“We will be,” he says, shrugging it off, “she’s just pissed at me for not wanting to move out with her.”
“Why don’t you want to move out with her, Ben? You’ve been together for years; don’t you think it’s time?”
“You know why, Bea!” he sighs sadly, but it only causes me to groan with frustration.
“I’m fine, Ben, I don’t need you to babysit me anymore!”