Page 47 of The Fool
“Yeah, Mom likes her photography,” she replies casually. “She’s teaching me as well, but I like finding strange objects in nature, whereas she likes photographing people, especially candid shots.”
“They’re amazing,” I tell her. “Perhaps your mom should consider a career in it.”
“Yeah, I keep telling her that, but she doesn’t think she’s good enough,” Jess sighs, shrugging her shoulders. This is obviously a conversation that she’s had many times but has perhaps given up on.
When I reach a photograph of Jess as a baby, I smile over how cute she is, with lots of dark hair all over her tiny head, looking like it’s just been attacked by static electricity. I then take a careful look at the man who is cradling her, holding her little fist with just his forefinger while grinning like an idiot, as most fathers do with their newborns. I’m sure there’s a similar picture of my own father holding me like this somewhere. However, when I look at his eyes, his hair, and the way he smiles a little lopsidedly, there’s something eerily familiar about him. I squint my eyes to really try and focus in on his face, which only gives me a stronger sense of déjà vu. Where the hell do I know him from?
“Who is this, Callie?” I whisper, even though Jess has left the room to skip off to the bathroom down the hall. She leans in to look more closely at the picture, then immediately groans.
“That is Jess’ father, Evan, a complete asshole in other words.”
Oh no! I know who he is.
“What’s wrong, Bea, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Oh, God, Callie, this is bad, really bad,” I gasp before slapping my hand over my face. “This is him, the horrendous one-night stand I had once upon a few years ago. God, things went so bad after that.”
“Oh, shit,” she murmurs, then appears to think about it for a few moments. “I think best keep that information to yourself; no one needs to know about that from this household.”
“Yes, yes of course,” I tell her while nodding my head with too much force. I’m about two minutes away from hyperventilating.
“That was good, cutie, but I have to get home to my wife and kid. Stay in school, or college, or whatever.”
“What the fuck did you just say?!”
We both turn to see Nathaniel’s fuming red face and clenched-up body, which is now filling up the entirety of Jess’ door frame.
“Look, hold on Nate-” Callie begins, trying to calm the beast that looks like he cannot be tamed right now.
“Callie, don’t even try it!” he snaps in such a way, not even she tries to argue.
The whole time he takes to walk up to me, I feel like throwing up, only I have no breath with which to do it. Approaching me, he breathes heavily and angrily, his eyes turning darker by the second, and not at all in a good way. I begin to tremble, just needing to find the nearest exit. Just like back then, when I was barely eighteen, I need to get away from this place and everyone in it.
“You have turned me down flat at every advance I’ve made, even though I know you want me and yet you slept with that…that piece of shit rapist, just like that?! What the fuck is wrong with you?” he snarls, looking at me with utter disgust.
“Nathaniel, I…it was-”
“Save it!” he yells. “I’m done! If you can sleep with someone like that, then you’re right to turn me down. In fact, I think it’s best you leave, especially while his then-wife and daughter are under the same roof.”
Tears well in my eyes as I shove him to one side before flying out of the room. Ignoring Callie yelling after me, I jump down the stairs two at a time, grab my bag and run out the door, not even stopping to shut it behind me. I run as fast as I can, with tears streaming down my face over his words, his revulsion, and his anger. I feel it all over again - the pain, the shame, the sick feeling that hung around me for months afterward. The reasons for never dating anyone all slam into me at once, reminding me of why I try to keep myself safe by not engaging in anything that will threaten my heart ever again. How could we have gone from virtually kissing and giving into passion, to him shouting at me to get away from him?
When I’ve run so far that I’m now out of breath, I finally stop to rummage around in my bag so I can grab my phone. At first, I find Ben’s number, for he’s always been my go-to hero, the one guy who I can rely on. However, if I phone him, he’ll go insane and probably end up in prison for brutally murdering Nate. No, I’ll have to call Leah and beg her not to tell him. I just want to get home.
“Hi, babe,” she says, sounding somewhat tired. “You ok?”
“No,” I just about manage to say through my tears. “Please, Leah, can you come and get me?”
“Honey, what’s happened?” she asks with deep-rooted concern in her voice. “Where are you?”
“He…he screamed at me, told me to get away from him, and he made me feel so dirty, like I was some kind of cheap whore,” I sob loudly.
“Who are you talking about? Not that asshole boss of yours?” she says with the sound of concern morphing into angry frustration. “I thought you were off work? Why are you with him?”
“He told me he liked me, that he wanted me, has done so for a while.” I smile sadly, realizing just how ridiculous this sounds. “I began to like him back…I’m such a fucking idiot!”
“No, you’re not, Bea,” she says softly. “But what happened? Why did he go mental at you if he likes you?”
“I’ve been saying no to him, you know, because of everything, but then he heard me tell Callie that the one night stand I had - you know theoneI’m talking about - was his sister’s ex-husband. God, what did I do to deserve all of this?”