Page 49 of The Fool
“Shit! Nate, you ok?” Callie whimpers. “Stop it, please!”
“It’s ok, I deserved that,” I reply with another cough, putting my hand up in surrender, “but I can’t promise to stay away from Bea.”
The hulk of a man laughs before forcing himself back with what looks like anger running all the way through his body. For a moment, I think he’s going to jump on me, but he ends up walking about in a small angry circle, flexing his hands as if trying to calm himself down.
“Look,” I begin, taking the opportunity to try and reason with him, “I’ll admit, I’ve handled everything horribly. Today, I found out she had an…intimateencounter, with my asshole ex-brother-in-law and I saw red. I couldn’t help it. You don’t know what this fucker is like. I’m sorry I took it out on her, I just couldn’t believe she would sleep with someone like that.”
“Oh, really?” he snaps, looking at me like I’m the lowest form of being. “Well, maybe get off your high and mighty pedestal up there because I know exactly what that asshole is like. I had to pick up my baby sister when he did a number on her. She was in a fucked-up place back then, ran off to some stupid kid’s party, drank herself into an even darker place, and blacked out before waking up with him on top of her. Maybe it wasn’t her best move to get into that kind of vulnerable position but look me in the eye and tell me you have never made bad decisions.”
I stay silent, letting his words sink in. Of course, I can’t tell him that, I’m a guy with a party-boy reputation. You don’t get there without making a few wrong turns along the way.
“As soon as he had finished, he put on his wedding ring and told her he was married, that she had been a great fuck, but he was going home to his wife. He left her there in a crumpled heap, feeling cheap and dirty, all at the age of eighteen.Eighteen, asshole!”
I close my eyes, imagining how on earth she must have felt after having had that happen to her.
“The day after, in the early hours of the morning, I get a phone call from her, sounding drunk, lost, and alone. It took some time, but I finally managed to get out of her where she was, some diseased-looking place out in the middle of nowhere, hidden away in a room that she had paid for on my emergency credit card. She’d been ingesting a deadly concoction of painkillers and neat vodka. She was completely out of it, with puke lying all around her body, an erratic pulse, and a desire to never wake up again. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine finding your baby sister in that state, not knowing if she’s going to make it or not?”
“No,” I reply quietly.
“And the worst part is,” he says, sounding like he’s close to tears himself, “none of us knew what the hell she had been going through. She masked her pain, her sadness, her desperation, with her usual smile and laid-back façade, and we all fell for it. Not again, asshole, I’ve been with her ever since, so I won’t let some shitty boss with a power trip destroy her again. Stay.The. Fuck.Away from her!”
“I can’t do that,” I murmur with a sigh, not able to lie to this guy while he relives it all.
“Why the hell not?” he yells.
“Because I’ve fallen for her,” I tell him flat out.
Ben shocks us both when he throws his head back and laughs, sounding almost hysterical, while placing his hands on his hips to steady himself.
“This is your idea of falling for someone?” he says incredulously. “Cos if it is, she doesn’t need any of it!”
He then shoves his hand into my chest, causing me to step back from the force of it. Unfortunately, he has a point. I’ve been the worst boss and an all-around crappy person to her.
“You’re right and if I were her brother, I would be trying to protect her from someone like me as well,” I begin, “but I’ll be completely honest with you, I’ve never been here before. The last time I was even close to feeling like this about somebody, I gave her to my brother.”
“Hey, man, I don’t need to hear about you sharing fucking women,” he snaps at my inability to get my point across, “all I care about is my sister!”
“I’m not going to let anyone else go near Beatrice, she’s mine and I will do everything in my power to protect her, so you won’t have to anymore.”
“Yeah? And who’s going to protect her from you?” he spits back at me. “Look, this is all bullshit anyway, you’ve blown it Mr Big Balls, she’s never going to want to come near you again. Did you know she’s not even been near a man since that fucker pushed her over the edge?”
Her reactions to me begin to make more sense now. Of course, she doesn’t want to come near me after the way I behaved, she must think I’m as every bit of an ass as fucking Evan!
“You’re done,” he says matter of factly. “Don’t expect her in on Monday…or ever! And if you don’t want a lawsuit for sexual harassment and bullying in the workplace, you’ll let her leave from immediate effect and with a fucking glowing reference. I know how good she is at her job, especially having worked under you. It’s the very least you can do.”
Reluctantly, I nod, knowing I’ve lost the argument with Ben. Not that I can blame him; I would be the same if Bea was my sister. He turns and glances at Callie and they politely nod at each other before he leaves the room. Once I hear the door bang, I sink into one of Helena’s armchairs and sigh heavily, covering my face with my hands over my shameful behavior toward someone who has already had to endure so much.
Chapter 17
Bea, eighteen years old, therapy
I don’t want to be here; I donotwant to be here!
My leg has been jiggling up and down since the moment I sat down in the generic-looking doctor’s reception room. The only piece of art to break up the sheer whiteness of the walls closing in on me is a Jackson Pollack print. I can’t look at it; it reminds me too much of what my head had looked like on that night.
“Do you want me to stay with you, Bea?” Ben asks with a softness he’s never used with me before. He even places his hand on my shoulder with a comforting touch, from which I shy away. My reaction causes him to tense up, which I cannot blame him for.
“Sorry,” I whisper, trying not to cry all over again.