Page 57 of The Fool
“You want the real Beatrice Summers? Well, now you’re going to get her, completely unfiltered. You’re a spoiled little rich boy, even before Cameron made it big, you got everything you ever wanted – the family, the siblings, the labels, the private school education, the girls, the sports, and the prestige of being a Carter. Everyone from back home knew who you were, and they all worshipped at your feet. All I ever heard was what an amazing guy you were, how handsome you were, and how you could have any girl you wanted; they’d be lucky to have you. Your parents even let you hold ridiculous parties whenever the hell you wanted, but you know what? Nathaniel Carter was a popular boy with a heart, so I tried not to judge. I genuinely believed them when they said you were as beautiful on the inside as you were on the outside. When I heard you were going to be my new boss, I was so intimidated, but I was relieved to know I was going to be getting a boss who didn’t discriminate and treated everyone with kindness and respect. But how wrong I was! You were just as bad as they were, Nathaniel Carter.”
“Bea, I had no idea –"
“What? That not everyone had such the great experience as you growing up? That I was hounded day in, day out by kids like you, kids who wanted to remind me of how ‘tragic’ I was. That my sister, my best friend, threw me away to sleep with my boyfriend. That a guy, who had no business being at a high school party, took advantage of me when I was drunk and vulnerable. That I sunk so low, I could only see death as a way out. Apologies for the wake-up call, Nathaniel, but that kid was me. And I’ve tried to keep it hidden, to leave it behind me in the past, but then you came along with your judgment, your power trip, and forced it to the surface all over again.”
“Wait,” he says, then pauses for a moment or two, as if taking the time to think, “Beatrice, where did you and Evan…er, happen?”
My teeth are clenched, my breathing more akin to an angry bull, and I’m about ready to let all the frustration out on my apartment.
“Where do you think, Nathaniel Carter?”
“Please don’t tell me it was at…shit!”
“You had a beautiful home, Nathaniel, it’s a pity you had no idea who was in it or what the hell was happening to them at the time,” I tell him with tears now in my eyes. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who never wants to see the inside of those walls again.”
“Bea…” he whispers with horror in his voice.
“Don’t feel bad, Nathaniel, it was my choice to make; just another bad one in a long list of them.”
“Bea, please let me in,” he begs, “I need to see you, to tell you how incredibly brave I think you are, how amazing you are for reinventing yourself, and for surviving everything. You are so beautiful, Beatrice, inside and out, and if I could go back in time, I would go and kick all their asses for you.”
“Just go, Nathaniel, please,” I practically beg as the tears come thick and fast. Eighteen-year-old Bea would have given anything to have Nathaniel Carter come and rescue her. But this Beatrice doesn’t believe in fairy tales anymore.
“Beatrice, promise me you won’t leave, you’ll come back and give me just one last chance. I will do everything in my power to make things right. Just one more chance, Bea, one more.”
“For a moment, I did,” I reply, “I gave you a chance, and began to believe in something more than what we are – colleagues. Now, we’re not even that. The last guy I trusted broke my heart with my sister; I can’t go through that again, Nathaniel.”
“I would never do what he did, Beatrice, I swear!” he says, with the sound of his hands bracing against the door. “You are a queen, Beatrice Summers, and I want to help you see that.”
“Nathaniel, please, go,” I tell him with a long sigh. “I don’t want Ben to catch you here; I don’t want him to hurt you again.”
“Why not?” he asks quietly, sniffing back what sounds like a whimper, which only causes me to hurt even more. “I deserve it.”
“No, you don’t, Nathaniel,” I whisper, only just realizing that I’ve managed to shuffle over to the other side of the door. “I need you to go…please.”
At first, he says nothing. In fact, he doesn’t even move, and I find myself holding my breath in anticipation. My head needs him to go, to be gone before Ben gets home and sees him here. My heart never wants him to leave, no matter how stupid that sounds.
“Ok,” he huffs through his nose, “I’ll go, Bea, but I promise you I’m going to fix this; you won’t have to leave Medina because of me.”
“Nathaniel, please…just…”
“And Bea, I’m not giving up on that kiss you almost gave me,” he says, and I swear my heart feels like it’s stopped beating. “I want you, Bea, and I can’t just stop wanting you, even if you ask me to.”
“Sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
“And sometimes, Bea, sometimes you do.”
Chapter 19
Bea
I wake with a start; Ben must have put me in bed because I don’t remember getting much past the couch after Nathaniel left. I feel huge relief at first, knowing that Nathaniel left way before Ben got back, but then I remember big brother Carter is coming to see me in a matter of hours. Ben has already made it quite clear that he’ll be staying, which is going to make things a whole lot more uncomfortable. I’m already feeling the strain of everyone knowing about my past, but having your big boss leave his honeymoon to come and deal with your shit is beyond humiliating. I’m not even sure if I need to dress in workwear or not.
“Ben, let me handle this,” I warn him when the buzzer rings at ten o’clock sharp. “I don’t need you to interfere when it comes to Cameron.”
As if completely ignoring me, he goes to open the door for Cameron and Callie to walk through as soon as they’ve scaled the stairs. I answer his arrogance with a dramatic roll of my eyes and a long sigh that he chooses to ignore. Before I can call him something unsavory, Callie walks in with a beaming smile and a giant hug for me. She smells of coffee and the fresh outdoors. She pulls back and studies me as if looking for any signs of me losing my mind. Once satisfied, she nods, then steps aside to reveal Cameron, thankfully dressed in casual clothing and a warm smile.
“Morning, Bea,” he says, leaning in to shake my hand. “Morning, Ben?” he asks, holding out his hand to shake with my brother, which Ben thankfully accepts.