Page 58 of The Devil
“I’m not doing anything. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am very busy, and people seem to be bothering me with things that are none of my business.”
I look down to pretend to work again, biding my time until she leaves, when I can finally let go.
“Lucius, you love her; I know you do,” she says, now practically begging.
I say nothing, just continue to work, paying her no attention at all. Hopefully, when I look up again, she’ll be gone.
“You are self-centered, egotistical, and above all, a stupid coward and you don’t deserve her!” she shouts, flicking the final switch deep inside of me.
“She made her bed and now she can fucking live in it!” I shout, silencing her once and for all. When I look up, instead of being gone, she’s still standing there, though now with tears running down her cheeks. At her decision to remain at my desk, giving me a death stare, I lower my voice but sound no less threatening, when I tell her, “Now get.The.Fuck.Out!”
“Lucius…” she whimpers.
“I said, GET OUT!”
This time she doesn’t argue, instead, she turns on her heels and leaves in a flurry of tears, slamming the door on her way.
This is when I let go and destroy the room completely. I fling the computer against the wall, causing a huge dent, while sending papers to fly everywhere. Every motherfucking glass in that office is thrown across the room so that a cacophony of smashing sounds echoes all around me. I upturn every fucking piece of pretentious furniture before punching the walls with my fists until they bleed.
Fuck you, Helena Carter, I wanted…I wanted… Fuck, you were supposed to be mine!
Helena
Midnight and I’m up for one of Jessica’s many feeds; I suspect this is just a comfort feed. Though, sometimes, I crave these moments when it’s only me and her. She falls asleep on me with her little mouth still open and her eyes running wildly behind their lids. I wonder what she’s dreaming about. Probably my boobs.
“I guess it won’t be just you and me soon, bubba,” I whisper to her with a sad sigh. Her eyes peek open, looking up to the corner while her mouth mimics sucking, and I laugh.
“Haven’t heard you laugh in a while,” Cam says as he walks into the living room with a glass of water and his laptop. Usually, a sudden presence would make me jump, but I’m too tired. “Which is odd considering you’ve just got engaged.”
He looks at me with a knowing look. I knew I wouldn’t be able to fool him, he called me out on it before I took off to Spain. If only I had told Evan back then that I didn’t want him coming out to see me, that the relationship was over, then I wouldn’t be having to marry him. That thought makes me want to slap myself, for I would also be without Jess, and I love her so much.
“Don’t,” I sigh.
“Why are you marrying him, Hels? You don’t love him, you never have,” he says sadly.
“Isn’t it obvious?” I reply, keeping my eyes on my sleeping daughter.
“It’s the twenty-first century, Hels, and you know we’d all be there for you if you decided to go it alone.”
“Would you?” I ask, thinking back to my father’s words. I half-wonder if he’d force my brothers to abandon me too. For all of Cameron’s words of support, Jacob Carter is still very much the patriarch in this house, paying for their college education and living expenses. He could easily threaten them too, just as he has with me.
“What? Why would you even ask that? You’re my baby sister, of course I would support you,” he says, getting up to come and sit closer to us.Us. I wouldn’t change having her for the world.
“It’s for the best,” I tell him, “for her, at least. I want to give her what Mom and Dad gave us, a stable environment.”
“Mason told me how his mother responded to the news…hag!” he says through clenched teeth. “How dare she look down her nose at you?!”
“I don’t know, he’s her only son and he wasn’t exactly discreet about needing a DNA test. I think the pink hair pushed her over the edge.”
“Is that why you dyed it?”
“Helena, darling, you’re a mother now, and soon to be my wife, I would prefer it if you sorted your hair out. It was fun before you had responsibilities, but now, it’s just inappropriate; please dye it back before the wedding.”
“It just seemed like the right thing to do,” I murmur.
“Yeah, ok,” he scoffs, “you can’t fool me, Hels.”
“It doesn’t really matter either way,” I whisper when Jess begins to shuffle about.