Page 37 of Chase
“I don’t think so, thank God, but who knows after he got back to his own place,” he says, sounding doubtful.
“Well, at least it wasn’t in the public eye. Listen, I gotta go. We have this fake engagement party tonight, so I best go and do my own personal damage control with Izzy.”
“Good luck, man, wouldn’t wanna be ya!”
He hangs up just as I hear the front door burst open. I quickly make my way into the kitchen where I’m shocked to see Izzy covered in perspiration. She’s been running and is covered in dirt from the woods behind the house. She begins stretching out, not making any eye contact, even though I can’t take my eyes off her body contorting itself into different shapes.
“What?” she accuses, still panting from her exercise.
“Er, I’m sorry,” I reply, still sounding distracted by her insane figure. I shake it off before continuing so I sound genuine instead of perverted. “I didn’t mean to get personal last night. I meant it when I said I am here for you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she says with a shrug, but I can tell she’s still pissed. She puts on one of her fake smiles before walking over to the sink to get some water. She downs two glasses, then turns to talk to me. “Is there anything you want me to do for tonight?”
“Nope, I’ve got that covered,” I reply, pretending not to pick up on her frosty attitude. “You just need to be here at about six thirty.”
“Sure,” she says, making a move toward where I’mstanding. “I’ll be out for most of the day, so I’ll meet you then.” As she moves past me, I grab for her hand, but she flinches under my touch before quickly pulling away altogether.
“We’ve got to at least act like we’re a couple, Izzy,” I say softly, trying to look her in the eye, “you can’t flinch every time I touch you.”
“I know,” she says, sounding like a petulant teenager all over again. “I just haven’t…er…look, never mind. I’ll be fine, you can touch away tonight. I can put on a good act.”
She winks at me with her game mask on, then flies down the hall to get as far away from me as possible. I’m starting to fear I will never get her back; I may have lost her before I’ve even found her.
_____
Izzy
After the heaviness of last night, I find myself grinning widely and unashamedly when I see Will, a guy who has absolutely nothing to do with Theo or my past, waiting for me in the forest car park. I need this distraction desperately. His black Labrador is wagging its tail like it’s a completely separate entity and therefore has no control over its maniacal movements. Will moves out of the way of my bike, then laughs when I remove my helmet. He looks shocked over my choice of vehicle; to be fair, I only picked it up from Penny’s garage this morning, but it felt really good to let go of all that occurred between Theo and me last night. Of course, now I’ve stopped the delicious purr of the engine, it’s all starting to seep in again.
“Bet you didn’t know I had one of these bad boys?” I cannot help but laugh over his wide eyes and gaping mouth. Hisdog barks at me but keeps his friendly tail wagging.
“Wow, you look pretty hot on a motorbike, Iz,” he says with a smirk as he looks over my ride, his envy almost palpable through his giddy expression. “It suits you.”
“Thanks, I think?” I frown as I lift a finger to my mouth in mock thought.
“Definitely a compliment, own it,” he says, helping me dismount my bike. I lock away my helmet and then I’m ready to go, with Will leading the way.
“What’s this handsome beast’s name then?” I ask while letting his dog sniff my hand before petting him. The dog is beyond friendly, and I needn’t have worried about him being aggressive; I think he would roll over and let you do anything for a belly rub.
“Dave,” he replies, and I can’t help but burst into laughter.
“You can’t call a dog Dave!” I giggle, and the dog’s entire body begins shaking in excitement.
“I was only ten when we got him, and my grandad had recently passed. I wanted to name this little ball of fluff after him, so…yeah.”
“Well, then it’s a great name,” I tell him, smiling at the dog, then up at Will again. “Shall we?” I ask, gesturing toward the forest.
The sun is shining but it’s early enough for it not to be up to full heat. I find myself enjoying the peace and tranquillity of it all, just like I used to when I was trying to escape home. I thought things were hard then, I never believed it could get harder. But it did. Things got so hard; I thought I wouldn’t come out of it alive.Sometimes I wish I hadn’t. Even just thinking that has me flinching, so I take in a deep breath. The smell of pine infiltrates my nose and I take it all in with greed.
For a while, we engage in unimportant chit-chat - stuff to do with his course, friends, recent music, and films - normal subjects of conversation between two friends. After about forty minutes, I feel the need to try and gently steer the conversation, just to give him a little encouragement to open up.
“So, I had my own panic attack the other day,” I admit. “I ended up having one of my ice-cold showers to numb my thoughts, as well as my body.”
“Never tried doing that myself,” he laughs nervously. “I’m trying not to smoke weed. My GP has prescribed some anti-depressants to try and calm my anxiety, but…”
He shrugs, obviously not sure if he wants to go down that route. It can be hard, especially if you don’t get on with the tablets they give you. I remember trying four or five before finding one that did anything remotely positive. I’d get up in the night and faint, feel itchy inside my brain, or just feel sick.
“They can help,” I finally reply, all the while bobbing my head. “I was on them for a few years, but I couldn’t find the right ones. They either didn’t work, or I felt ill with them. But they do work for a lot of my clients.”