Page 65 of Ash

“No,” I said, immediately realising the truth of my words.

These guys were rapists and murderers, after all. So, I kind of felt that they had deserved it. And Petrov would, too.

Did that make me a bad person? I wasn’t sure.

If it did, then I guessed I fit with Ash better than I’d thought. I smiled because I couldn’t seem to be bothered by that.

Although I didn’t believe Ash was a bad person. In fact, I was pretty sure he was a good person. A good person who sometimes did bad things.

If I was going to be with him, and I knew I really wanted to be, then I needed to know exactly who he was and what I was getting involved with. I needed to know that I could stand by him no matter what.

“When you hurt or kill someone, is it always because they have done something terrible like that?” I questioned him, wanting to understand this man better.

“Not always something as terrible, no, but we never hurt or kill anyone who has not proved themselves to be a threat to our family and whom we can’t deal with through more legitimate means,” he explained.

“We are Bratva, and we run illegal operations, but we never directly hurt women or children, and we do not get involved in human trafficking nor running girls. Glowacki is the same in that respect, and that is why we are allies. We are not good men, but we are not truly bad men either.”

I nodded. I thought that was true of many people. Nothing in life was ever truly black and white. We all lived in a world with varying shades of grey, though we didn’t always recognise that. Some people simply had more grey in their lives than others. Nobody was truly pure, and thankfully, very few were truly evil; most folk tended to sit somewhere in between.

Ash continued talking. He told me about Petrov’s imminent release to go into witness protection after ratting on a cellmate. He also said that tonight he learned that while they had all thought Krissa had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time when she was taken, while that was true, the family now knew that her identity had been discovered, and the three had been ordered to kill her by another party. Whether they would have any way or not didn’t matter; someone else had made sure of that.

I could see him getting angry and stressed again when he confessed that he believed what happened to Krissa was his fault.

He was supposed to pick her up from a restaurant where she had been having dinner with friends to celebrate her graduation from college, but he was late. He had been kept behind at a business meeting and then was held up in traffic. It had been a lovely warm evening, so rather than wait inside for Ash when her friends had gone home, she had chosen to stand outside in the street by herself instead. She had then been snatched.

He’d arrived to find her missing. Despite searching for her, the family had been unable to find her, eventually discovering her death when police informed them of the situation, and the subsequent arrest of the men involved just a few hours later.

The more he told me, the more I could see his stress levels building. I could even feel the heavy weight of the guilt he carried. He blamed himself. He said that if he hadn’t stayed late at a business meeting, putting business before his sister, and then got caught in traffic, she would never have been snatched, and so her murder was his fault. Of course, it wasn’t, but he had obviously been blaming himself for her death since it happened, so telling him that wasn’t really going to help. However, I felt compelled to say the words anyway.

“What happened to Krissa wasn’t your fault, Ash. The only people responsible are the men who hurt her. I am sure she would hate for you to blame yourself. You said the traffic was heavy that night, and that was pretty much out of your control, so I doubt that the extra five minutes you were detained at your meeting would have made any difference.”

He had gotten up while talking and was pacing up and down the room, shaking with anger. He didn’t even seem to notice that he was naked. I could see him starting to spiral out of control again. I knew he heard me speak, but I wasn’t sure he was fully listening. I kept trying anyway.

“You should also remember that Krissa chose to wait outside instead of staying in the restaurant. While she should have been safe either way, she wasn’t. Fate conspired against you both, and neither of you were to blame. When you finally get your revenge, you need to forgive yourself. I am sure that is what Krissa would want if she were able to tell you,” I said in earnest, hoping at least some of my words were hitting home.

He was still pacing about the room, obviously still distraught, his fists opening and closing and his eyes wild.

I didn’t know what to do, but distraction worked for him before, so I decided to try that technique again.

I walked to him. He stopped pacing and stood still, all his muscles tense, breathing heavily with anger. I wrapped my arms around him and held him, looking into his face and watching his reaction. His eyes slowly focused on me, and I watched them soften.

I simply stared at him for a moment, waiting for him to calm down a little. Once he did, I dropped down to my knees and took him into my hands. He immediately started to harden, and I licked my lips to moisten them and then kissed his tip softly before licking the slit there.

He hissed in a harsh breath, and his cock jerked in my hand. I licked it again, and it hardened fully.

Opening my mouth as wide as possible, I drew the tip of his penis into my mouth and sucked. Then, I withdrew my lips and did it again and again, drawing him in deeper and deeper each time. Sucking harder and faster with each movement. He was still panting heavily but no longer in anger. I looked up at him, and his eyes were closed, his head tilted back, a look of ecstasy on his face.

I felt myself relax. It looked like it was working, so I continued with gusto, licking, sucking, and moving back and forth along Ash’s swollen shaft.

He brought his hands up, tangling his fingers in my hair as he started to thrust, and I let him, aware of how much he needed this. He continued thrusting deep, and I concentrated on breathing deeply through my nose to control my gagging reflex. I was so not used to this, but I didn’t want to stop. Not in the least.

My eyes were watering, but I was not going to stop him from thrusting into me, taking what he needed. I loved that he needed me this much, that he was now thrusting with abandonment and out of control with lust. He was fully in control of me, however, but that was okay because I was really very happy that he was so obviously enjoying this. It made me feel powerful, and I knew that if I did want him to stop, he would.

He thrust one more time before roaring, “Fuck!” as his cum ran down my throat.

Until Ash, I’d never swallowed before, but I found where others had tasted too salty; he didn’t. I loved his taste, and drinking him down was not at all awful. In fact, I enjoyed it, and I could tell he liked me swallowing by his groan of pleasure as he watched me. So, I would happily do it again and again.

When he was finished, he helped me to my feet and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tightly.