Page 28 of Worship Me
Chapter8
Adora
I could smellthe water before we arrived. That delightful crisp and fresh scent reached my nose, and I inhaled, taking it all in and imagining what it would be like to feel clean again.
I was so over this day.
I’d started to question my instincts. Did peacocks have good instincts? I didn’t know. I’d always trusted myself. Danni had trusted me. Now I wasn’t so sure.
Nothing was right in Arcadia. Of course, we’d already known that on our side of the portal, but not to such an extent. I would have never guessed it was filled with mutant, half-shifted inhabitants that had become feral and attacked without provocation. I thought that was the worst of it, but walking into the temple ruins tore at my soul.
My entire life, I’d put on a strong face. Where Dannika wore her heart on her sleeve, I hid behind a mask of indifference. I showed people what I wanted them to see. It wasn’t false. It just wasn’t all of me. Dannika was kinder, and I was meaner; there was no doubt about it. I stabbed first and asked questions later, while she weighed her options—but we both feltdeeply. Maybe it had something to do with us being born during the Great Sacrifice—a night when my entire race was slaughtered, and her father was murdered. Maybe a piece of that pain and suffering our loved ones endured had become ingrained within us somehow.
Still, even with all my practice, there was no way to disguise my emotions when I held those tiny bones in my hand. I sensed an inexplicable familiarity in the ruins. The air was thick with sorrow and loss, so much so it was hard to breathe. The truth was that it was almost unbearable. It was easy to see why Arcadians would say it was haunted and no one dared to enter. I had a better understanding of why Pan didn’t want to go there either. If I felt it, he surely did as well.
A deeper part of me wanted to avenge them. I just didn’t know why. I wouldn’t pretend that I was benevolent, or that I didn’t hold grudges. I kept a list of those who’d done my family wrong, and some of them deserved to end up on the pointy end of a blade given the chance, but not for something as stupid and trivial as them not liking me. Notworshippingme. I was disgusted by the goddess that had inflicted pain and destruction on so many innocents for such a slight.
As we descended the staircase at the back of the temple, I made a silent vow to the souls of those murdered children: if I found the one responsible, I’d do everything in my power to put an end to her. To make sure she could never harm anyone ever again.
Reaching into my pocket, I touched the tiny bone I’d picked up. A metacarpal, as best as I could tell. Maybe a finger, depending on the age of the child. It didn’t matter, really. I’d kept it as a reminder.
I didn’t know why it had affected me so viscerally. Maybe it was because I’d lived my life believing I was the last of my kind. On Earth, I was. All because of self-righteous zealots who wanted to rule over others. Peacocks were deemed too dangerous because of the ability we’d inherited. With nothing more than a look we could see into someone’s soul. See their past, their mistakes, their secrets. People who were stronger with more means didn’t like the risk that posed, so we’d been exterminated as if we were ants and not people.Shewas no different, except this time, there were no survivors, and that made me sad. It was such a basic word to describe my emotion, but there was no other way to put it.
“You’re awfully quiet.” Pan’s voice broke me away from my thoughts. “What are you doing?”
Plotting murder, but I don’t plan on telling you that.
“Thinking about a bath.”
He smiled, pointing ahead. “Right through there.”
I looked up, catching sight of the cave entrance.
“Thank the gods,” I breathed.Not that bitch of destruction, though. Fuck her. I’ll thank her for nothing.
Running ahead, I entered. Dark shadows and a damp scent filled the space. I dropped to my knees, scooping my hands into the spring and bringing them to my mouth to drink over and over again. I took my fill before I stood up, stripping my shirt over my head.
“What are you doing?” Pan asked, his voice almost panicked. I glanced at him to see he’d backed away slightly. His brows were scrunched as he looked at me with suspicion.
“That’s not usually the reaction I get when I take my clothes off,” I said, shimmying my shorts down my legs. “But I guess there’s a first time for everything.”
He opened his mouth to talk again, but I didn’t stick around to listen. I bundled my clothes under my arm and padded over to another pool, one I didn’t plan to drink from, and dipped my toes in. A lukewarm temperature greeted me, and I walked right in, dropping until I was completely submerged.
The water rushed over my head, and I held my breath in the blissful silence until my lungs started to burn.
When I broke the surface, I noticed Pan had started a small fire near the cave entrance. He turned to look at me, aware that I was watching him.
“Why are you afraid of me?” I asked, rubbing my clothes together to wash the grime off of them as best I could. It didn’t bother me that he didn’t want to screw me, but the way he acted made me curious.
My comment made him bristle, and he straightened his back. “I’m not afraid of you,” he said stiffly.
I gave him a flat glare. “C’mon, I just took off my clothes, and you took three steps back from me like my vagina has teeth.”
His lips parted slightly, but something like a smile crept up one side of his mouth. After a moment, he said, “If we’re going to be honest, I thought you were trying to seduce me.”
Treading water, my head tipped back as I barked a laugh. I couldn’t help myself. “If I wanted to seduce someone, coating myself in sweat, mud, leaves, and blood wouldn’t be my first choice. Nothing sexier than rank body odor and open wounds,” I said, lifting my arm and pointing to the gouges the puma left on my deltoid. The movement pulled at the wet cuts, and I winced.
Pan’s expression softened. “I suppose that’s a fair point.”