Page 77 of That Right Moment

“Milo…I…” I stuttered, not exactly sure what to say here.

“Maddy, I love you…”

I met his eyes. He had no problem saying those words, did he?

“To me this seems like a no brainer. We’re a family, and we need to all be together—doesn’t matter what city we live in.”

“But it does,” I finally said. “I can’t just uproot my entire life. I have a house, a stable job, clients and patients who would be devastated if I left. This is my home, and I can’t just leave.”

“Your house. Your patients… are they more important than me and Holly?”

“No, I didn’t say that.” I dropped his hand, taking a few steps back. “I said I can’t just make this decision in a split second. My life is here.”

“But what if I move?” his voice cracked.

I took a deep breath. “Then we…” I dropped my shoulders. “We figure it out.”

“We figure it out?” Milo repeated. His tone was dropping, and his expression was showing off the change in his emotion. His stress was turning into anger, and I was here to get the brunt of it. “That’s what I’m trying to do right now. I’m trying to figure it out, and I’m including you in the equation. Am I not in yours?”

“Milo, you will always be in mine. It’s just…”

“Just what?” He stopped me. “I seem to remember you willing to sell your house at just thethoughtof Kent proposing to you.”

His voice was harsh, his tone growing as he spoke. In the twelve years I've known him, I’ve never seen him like this. He was stiff, his demeanor tense as he looked me in the eye.

“That was different…” I hesitated.

“How?”

“I had been with Kent for two years. That's the next logical step in a relationship that's been going that long. I wouldn’t have had to quit my job. I wouldn’t have had to uproot my entire life to start over. Milo, we’ve been together for a few months—weeks if we aren't counting the ‘pause.’” I air quoted, hearing my voice raise to match his.

“Maddy, we’ve been together for twelve years. Maybe not romantically but…” Milo took a deep breath, and his body relaxed. His eyes searched around the room as if trying to find the words to say. Once his eyes met mine again, he stood straighter, and his body, yet again, stiffened.

“Madeline, I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you, even when Hannah was in the picture, it’s been you. I’ve been waiting for you…for twelve years…”

“So what does that mean?” I stopped him. I didn’t want to hear him anymore. This wasn’t what I had in mind when I came here. “Are you saying you married Hannah as a placeholder until I came crawling to you?”

“No,” he snapped, pinching his nose with his thumb and forefinger. “That’s not what—”

“That’s sure what it sounded like. You just said it was me even when Hannah was yourwife, Milo. If that's supposed to make me fall harder than I already have, I’m afraid it's done the exact opposite. What does that make me then? Another placeholder until some other girl comes along?”

“There’s never been another girl…” he mumbled.

My anger rose. “What does that make Holly then? If Hannah was a placeholder…”

“Stop calling her a placeholder. You know she wasn’t aplaceholder,” he spat. “Madeline, I want you in my life. I’ve always wanted you in my life, a part of my life, and I’m trying to make that possible. I just thought…” He heaved an exasperated sigh, lifting his arms in the air. “I just thought that after Depoe Bay, maybe you would want to stay with me—no matter where I ended up.” He raked his teeth against his bottom lip. “You said you wanted this.”

“Ido,” I spat back at him. “But not if it means moving to Seattle.” I turned my back to him, leaving his apartment in the heat of it before I regretted anything.

“Madeline…” I heard him say my name. I grabbed the doorknob and closed my eyes, holding back the tears that were forming.

I turned back to him, pointing a finger at his face before lowering it to kiss him.

“This isn’t me breaking up with you or telling you I don't care about you. This is me saying I need time to think about what is going on. Ophelia is coming out tomorrow, and I need to shift to her show. Go to Seattle and look at hospitals and homes, but don’t expect me to be in on that plan just yet…I need to figure it out myself.”

“Maddy.” He reached down and grasped my hand. Not wanting to add to the pool of emotions, I slipped it away from him.

“I will talk to you when you get back—after Ophelia leaves.” I gave him a small kiss once again, keeping my voice low enough that I even had myself fooled that the argument was over, even though I knew it had just begun. “Bye, Milo.”