Page 34 of Urban Justice
Still she didn’t look at him, but Luke was damned if he was going to interrupt her as she opened up to him.
“It was hard work, so hard when I couldn’t help everyone who crossed my path and stop all the monsters in the shadows. It took a toll on me, and I couldn’t accept it. Call me an idealist or plain stupid, but instead of taking a step back and accepting reality, I pushed forward.”
“You’re not stupid.”
Sloane gave him a sad grin. “I wish I could agree with you but I can prove you wrong. I worked tirelessly, way past the point I should have, and it still wasn’t enough. So I searched for other ways to continue and not falter, and the way I found was drugs. It was stupid and the worst thing I could have done. That was the beginning of me spiraling out of control. It was as if my body and brain had become disconnected. I didn’t think it possible to become a stranger to myself, but it happened. I thought taking that shit gave me a clearer mind, more energy, more insight. Only I was dead wrong.
“I wouldn’t have realized the path I was on if my captain hadn’t confronted me with what I was doing. I was too far gone when he forced me to resign, for my own good, and to preserve whatever reputation I had left. The trouble was, without the clear-cut lines of the police force, I was like a boat without a rudder. I don’t want to remember who I was during that period of my life, but I know I wouldn’t have survived it if not for a woman who befriended me and gave me a second chance.
“Her name was Beatrice, and she founded Purgatory. I worked for them until Beatrice’s death. To my surprise and salvation, I found a new purpose, and after that balance and newfound strength. When Lance founded Noctem, I followed him, but I’m no longer that blind idealist, and I’m very aware of my weakness. I’ve been careful and haven’t had a lapse since then.”
Luke swallowed. “That’s where you wanted to go? To get drugs?”
A strangled laugh came out of her throat. “No, but the pull was there. I’d hoped the support group I researched would be open. I checked them out just in case I needed it.”
Side by side, looking forward, Sloane surprised Luke by putting her hand beside his, their pinkie fingers touching. Luke couldn’t touch her now, reach for her, and take her hand for fear she’d shut down again.
“If it’s what you need, we can find one. A psychiatrist, a doctor.”
Blue eyes finally met his gaze. “Why are you doing this? We’re pretty much strangers. I’ve put you in danger, and there’s nothing you can gain from helping me. So why?”
He turned to her, pushing a tumbling strand of pink off her face with his free hand. “Is it really important? To be honest, I don’t know, and it doesn’t make sense, but I prefer to focus on the moment, what is truly important. You matter to me, Sloane. We don’t know what tomorrow will hold, and it would take a lifetime to uncover each other’s secrets. The only thing we have for sure is now, here, together. I want to help you. If you need to uncover the tunnels’ secrets, I’ll help. If you need to find someone to help curb your addiction, I’ll help there too.”
Sloane squeezed his hand, undone. “And if I just want you? Without knowing why or how long it will last?”
Lust tightened deep in his belly. “Then you’ll have my body. But only if I can have yours.”
He needed to kiss her more than breathe. He swallowed her sigh as his mouth took hers. Her hands reached for him, and he groaned at the contact. He liked seeing that she wanted him as much as he longed for her. There was the need that had flared back at the loft, and now the fire that burned deep at the memory of what they could repeat, experience again, and push further.
This woman went against everything he’d promised himself the moment he’d left the Marines. He’d gladly fought for his country, didn’t regret any of the sacrifices he’d had to make, but once he decided to step away, Luke had gladly turned his back on danger and violence, even if it was wishful thinking. He’d dreamed of coming back, getting his doctorate, and working in the only job he wanted. He wanted love in his life, the white picket-fenced home with a wife he adored, and kids.
This woman, Sloane, was a detour he hadn’t expected. A violent explosion of color blinding him in lust that blurred the lines.
Luke decided that he’d allow himself to cross that line for now, for this mission, and for her. And maybe a little bit for himself. One last reminder of who he’d been before settling, before returning to his chosen path.
Sloane gasped, breaking the kiss. “You stink, professor.”
Laughter shook him and he stood, leaving her on the bed. “Careful. You’re an interesting mix of sweat and sewer yourself.”
Her nose scrunching in disgust, Luke understood the moment she was about to retaliate and sidetracked her by removing his boots and socks before reaching for the top button on his pants.
“Come with me, Sloane. Come have a shower with me and forget about the rest of the world for a moment as we replace pain with pleasure. I dare you to say no. Unless you’re a coward and you want to flee.”
With that last taunt, he didn’t have to look back to know the pink-haired warrior was on his heels, wanting to prove herself again.