Page 32 of The Flirty Vet
"I'll bring you something to drink as soon as I'm done with the little fella."
She smiles appreciatively, tucking her blanket all the way up to her chin. "Thanks, Uncle Wilby. You're the best."
I smile back. "You really are the smartest one in this family."
I dash off down the corridor and into the bathroom where Kolby is frozen in place.
I cover a hand over my mouth. "Oh my fucking god!"
What has he done?
He sees me and wails, completely distraught.
"How did you get Bridge's vomit all over you?"
He grabs his groin and points to the toilet bowl. "'Cause I need to pee."
Six-year-old logic.
"I slipped and fell in it."
"Are you hurt?"
"No, but…" He looks down at his arm covered in…
I grimace. "Mate, we're gonna have to get you cleaned up."
He nods as I lift him by the armpits and carry him out of the bathroom, keeping his swinging legs as far away from me as I can.
How is this my life?
Laughter rings in my ears, filling not just the back room we use as a storage space, change room, and a place to crash between clients, but I'm pretty sure the entire clinic, all the way down to the waiting room at the front.
"Glad my life is so amusing to you all," I mutter, aiming death stares at my work colleagues, Fitz, Muir, Linus, and Ryde, after regaling them with my morning misadventures.
I down the rest of my coffee and wince. It's instant. Tastes like shit, but it's all we can afford around here.
"I'm not laughing," Ryde points out.
I shoot him an appreciative glance. "Thanks, mate. Can always count on you."
He's young, and he’s the latest addition to the vet crew and not versed in the ways the guys around here interact.
He'll learn.
Ryde nods, then glances over at Linus, blushes, and looks away.
Even Linus, our bearded and usually grumpy boss man is smiling as he dunks his Tim Tam biscuit into his tea.
"What did you do with Kolby?" Fitz asks, flopping an oversized bunny ear off his forehead. "You're not exactly renowned for being good with bodily fluids."
"No. I am not." I get up to pour myself another cup of brown piss. I explain to Ryde, "I can handle animals' blood, guts, gore, puss, all of it. But humanthings…" I shudder and grab my chest, pushing the rising bile down. "Cannot deal."
He gives a sympathetic nod. Such a sweetie. Wonder how long it'll be before we corrupt him and bring him over to the dark side with the rest of us.
"So what did you do?" Muir asks, stopping fiddling with the back of Fitz's rabbit onesie for a minute. Those two are joined at the hip. If they weren't both currently dating women, I'd swear they'd be a match made in quirky gay heaven.
I return to the small dining table the five of us are sitting around. "I didn't know what to do," I say, looking around at everyone. "All I knew was if I stayed in that bathroom for one second longer, my spew would be joining Bridgette's on thefloor. It was everywhere. So I picked the little fella up, raced him outside, and hosed him down."