Page 18 of Love You Still
“Control freak.”
“I’d like to think of it as being prepared. I don’t want to waste their time. I’m sure Vance and Connor don’t have time to waste between projects,” I say, knowing that it’s a complete lie.
I’d rather anyone but Connor and Vance’s company be doing the work for the studio. The desire to avoid Vance and all the feelings that seeing him have stirred up after all these years is strong. I need to focus on getting better and reminding myself why I started dancing in the first place. The last thing I want or need is to be dealing with the emotional baggage that comes with being around Vance Kirkland. I know I can’t avoid him forever, but I’m damn sure going to try. At least for the time being, that is.
“You really think Vance won’t be the one to do whatever you need done at the studio?” She eyes me skeptically over the roof of her car before opening the door and climbing inside.
“Yes. No. Maybe.” I sigh as I pull the door shut behind me and buckle my seat belt. “I’d prefer him to send someone else. I don’t know if I’m ready to be in that close of proximity to him right now.”
“Because you’re still madly in love with him and would rather stay here in Tyson’s Creek with him instead of going back to New York and making all your ballerina dreams come true.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I grumble, shifting my attention out the window.
As I watch the familiar scenery go by, I think about how easy it would be to start my life over here in Tyson’s Creek. I’m on a leave of absence from the ballet, whether or not my injury heals. It would be all too easy to get out of my obligations. I have a business here; my family and friends are here. My parents always told me I could dance anywhere. I didn’t believe themwhen I was younger. My need to be in the spotlight was the only thing I could focus on. Now that I’m older, I understand that dancing is something you do because it’s a need deep inside your soul, not because of fame and fortune. If I’m no longer a part of the ballet, is there really a reason for me to go back to New York?
“I would, but I won’t. Right now, we need to brainstorm some very good reasons why Audrey needs to dump that douche canoe, Ian, and move to Tyson’s Creek.”
“That won’t be hard. We’re here,” I answer quickly. “Besides, there was something off with her the last time we chatted.”
“Maybe her cards told her she needed to run in the opposite direction, and fast.”
“Maybe. All I know is if that asshole did something to them…”
“We’ll be on the next plane to Texas to kick his ass.” Leia finishes my statement as we make our way across town to Bristol’s place.
We drive in silence, neither one of us finding the need to fill the space with noise. But when we come to a stop in front of Bristol’s house, Leia turns to me. Her mouth opens and closes a few times before I laugh loudly.
“Just spit it out already.”
“Can I just say one more thing about whatever this is between you and Vance?” I nod, waiting for her to continue. “I know that a lot of time has passed since you and Vance were together, but I know he still loves you. He never stopped, and by the look on your face right now, I can tell you still feel something for him, too.”
I open my mouth to rebut her observations, but she holds up a hand. “It’s none of my business, but if you wait too long to show him you still feel the same, you might lose this second chance. I doubt fate is going to give you another one. Just think about it, okay?”
“Okay,” I retort as she flashes me a bright smile.
“Now, let our girls’ night begin!” She fist pumps the air before climbing out and striding toward Bristol’s front door.
Now that I’m back in town, it’s inevitable that Vance and I will be pushed together at some point. I never got over Vance. Not that I wanted to. Leia and my mom are right: Most people don’t get a second chance at love, especially with the love of their life. I tried to say goodbye to him once, but fates have crossed our paths again. I owe him an apology, among other things, but is it fair of me to ask him for a second chance? Is it as easy as showing him how much he still means to me, and then everything will be okay?
I’m not delusional enough to believe everything will go back to the way it was, all roses and sunshine. We are both older and are different people. We need to take our time and get reacquainted with each other again.
But so much time has passed. I’m not the girl I once was. Fuck, I don’t even know who I am anymore. How can I be someone’s everything when I don’t even know who I am? The girl Vance fell in love with is still inside me somewhere. I know she is. I just need to take the time to find her. To find out who I am as a person, and then once I know, I can go to Vance and beg his forgiveness for being a silly girl afraid of being hurt and ask for another chance. If what Leia says is correct, Vance will flash me one of his patented smiles, wrap me in his arms, and tell me how much he missed me.
Chapter 9
Vance
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Connor asks me for what seems like the millionth time over the last few days.
“No, but am I going to do it, anyway? Yes.” I don’t bother to look up from my desk as I search for the plans we sketched out for renovations to the dance studio.
I spent most of the weekend weighing the pros and cons of seeing Selina so soon after our run-in at the dance studio. I hadn’t seen her since Lydia’s funeral, but the connection between the two of us was still there, as strong as ever. The moment I laid eyes on her, it felt like everything was right with the world, soothing the deep ache inside me for the first time in years.
“Usually, I’m all for telling you to just rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with, but this time is different,” Connor replies as he takes a seat on the edge of my desk, the plans I’ve been searching for in his hand. “She hasn’t picked up a phone, sent a text, or even a smoke signal to you in years. To me, that makes it glaringly obvious she probably wants nothing to do with you.”
“Would you be saying the same thing if this was Lydia we were talking about?” I growl, snatching the plans from him and stuffing them into my bag.
I know he means well, but if the roles were reversed, I know he wouldn’t listen to anything anyone had to say. Lydia and Connor were,are,soul mates, just like Selina and me. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t seen or spoken to each other in years or that she just disappeared from my life without a backward glance. None of that changes the fact that she’s a part of me, the other half of my soul. A love like that doesn’t always come around for someone. Now, fate has given us a second chance. A chance to start over and learn from our mistakes. I’d be a fool to let this go. No matter what her reasons were for cutting off all contact with me all those years ago, we can figure things out.