Page 87 of Filthy Secret
I don’t know how he’s awake right now. I only played a quarter of the games he did, and I am absolutely ready to pass the fuck out.
“Mom,” Adam cries out.
Shifting my attention from him to the counter, I watch as Ryan takes a step forward. Her eyes are wide as she stares at me. I want to wrap my arms around her and hold her. I want to set her on the edge of that counter and fuck her.
Seeing her right now, I know I can’t just wash my hands of her. I don’t know why or how I thought I could. It’s fucking impossible because I’ve loved her for eleven fucking years. I don’t think I ever stopped, either.
“Atomic,” she exhales, and I fucking hate that.
I absolutely despise the sound of my road name on her lips. I only want her to call me Grover. Nothing else will fucking do any longer. I almost tell her that, but I decide it will make a bigger impact when I’m inside her and demand she only call me Grover.
I like the idea of that.
“Whatever he wants,” I murmur.
Ryan’s eyes widen, and she looks down at Adam, who is currently salivating over some swirly light-yellow frosted cupcakes. She frowns, then shifts her attention back to meet mine. I know she likely wants to tell him what he can and cannot have, but this is a whole new territory for both of us.
I fucking hate it.
“He hasn’t had any other sweets today,” I offer. “We had burgers for lunch with fries, not ketchup.”
Ryan lets out a sigh, her lips curving up into a smile. “How about half a dozen cupcakes and a dozen cookies, then? It’s almost closing time. We won’t bring any of this out tomorrow. Besides, I made the cookies.”
“You did?” I ask.
Ryan smiles, her eyes shifting from Adam’s to mine. Fuck me, but I love her smiles. This moment, seeing her behind that counter, a genuine smile on her face, the stress of that fucking bastard worn away, the evidence of what he did to her also nothing more than a few shadows.
Stunning.
I don’t know how I didn’t see what that man did to her. She wore it on her gorgeous face. I’m a fucking asshole for that. A complete fucking asshole. I see it now, though. She’s glowing in a way that I could never have imagined possible.
Freedom.
Maybe I shouldn’t say anything to her. Maybe I shouldn’t ask her to work on this, to make this relationship… a relationship. She seems to be happy without me. I watch as she moves around the small workspace, organizing the cookies and cupcakes into the bakery box, then sets it down on the counter.
Digging into my pocket, I take out a one-hundred-dollar bill and place it on the counter, then push it toward her. Ryan places her hand over mine. Her fingers are cool. Lifting my gaze to meet hers, I try to smile at her, but it doesn’t come to my lips.
“This is too much,” she whispers.
“Nah, legs. It’s really not.”
I watch as her teeth sink into her bottom lip, pulling at it before she releases that lip. I want nothing more than to kiss her there, to suck that lip between my lips and taste her. Fuck, my cock twitches at the thought. I want to be inside of her right fucking now.
“Are you heading home?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
I open my mouth to tell her that she doesn’t have to come with me, but she cuts me off. Her eyes widen, and she leans forward. I watch as her lips curve into a bright smile as she tilts her head to the side.
“I want to have that talk.”
Clearing my throat, I turn my hand over and wrap my fingers around her palm. “You’re sure?”
“I am,” she exhales.
Adam tugs on my cut, and I look down into his eyes. His nose is scrunched as he looks up at me. “Are we going home now?” he asks.
We.
It seems like such a small word. Two fucking letters, but it’s the biggest one I think I’ve ever heard. I wait for her to respond, but I don’t know how much longer I can wait. Every second feels like a lifetime, and I want to answer for her, but everything feels very unstable at the moment.