Page 88 of Filthy Secret
Ryan’s eyes don’t look away from mine. They’re transfixed, and then she finally speaks. “How about now?” she asks.
I release the breath that I didn’t know I was holding. I’ve never been this fucking nervous about a singular bitch before. And yet, it is exhilarating to be nervous about this one. Because this woman is fucking everything.
Every single thing.
“I like the sound of that.”
She smiles and tells me that she needs to close up. That she’ll meet me right outside the front door. Picking up the box, I take Adam’s hand with my free one, and the two of us make our way out to the downtown sidewalk.
I keep a firm grasp on his hand as my eyes scan the street. There shouldn’t be a threat, yet I inspect it like there is. Because it’s when you least expect it that shit goes down.
“Daddy,” Adam calls out from his position at my knees.
“Yeah?” I murmur, flicking my gaze to meet his before I lift it again and continue to scan.
“Are you and Mom going to live together finally?”
Shifting my attention back to his, I smirk. “Yeah, I think we are.”
“Good.” He nods his head once as if it’s final.
Everything is final.
I almost laugh at him but decide not to. It’s cute as fuck, and I can’t deny that I’m probably just as excited as he is to have my family. There’s something special about him, about this life. I want it, and I want it to work.
A few moments later, Ryan stands next to me, looking up into my eyes, her nose scrunched just like Adam’s.
Fuck me.
And just like that, without another word spoken, we’re back together. However, I never thought of her as anything but my woman, even at my angriest, so even though I was saying that I wanted nothing to do with her, I was a goddamn liar.
I am a liar.
I knew I was then, and I definitely know it now.
RYAN
Riding in the passenger seat, I can’t believe that I’m going back to the house with him. I don’t know why he showed up at the bakery if it was Adam’s doing or Grover’s idea, but I decided it was a fate-ish situation and to jump on it.
I know he’s the one for me, even if he isn’t perfect. God knows I’m not either. I’ve done a lot of things that I am not proud of, mostly in the name of protecting my sister, but I should have said no to her a long time ago.
Enabling Ellen did nothing but almost destroy my life. I’m lucky I haven’t obliterated every part of me and my son. I hope I am never in that situation again, although I don’t see myself enabling someone to the point of self-sabotage again. I can’t put myself or my son in danger like that and live with myself. I was so incredibly stupid.
CHAPTER
THIRTY-FOUR
RYAN
We’ve eaten, and Adam is being put to bed, although Grover has to carry him to his room because he’s exhausted, and I would say he had every right to be. He told me, animatedly and excitedly, all about his adventures at the arcade.
It sounds like a long day, but at the same time, it’s something that I haven’t really been able to give him in the past. The most I’ve been able to do is give him twenty dollars in gameplay and maybe a round of bowling. Not much more, but Grover was able to give him an entire day.
Standing at Adam’s doorway, I watch as Grover tucks him in and wonder how this life is going to turn out. I want so much for this to be perfect. For him to confess his love for me, to ask me to marry him and to live happily ever after.
For the past six years, finding even a modicum of happiness has seemed like an impossible feat, and yet it’s within my grasp now. I can’t believe this is possible, that everything is at my fingertips, and I’m still afraid that one wrong move is going to ruin it all.
Grover turns toward me, his eyes finding mine, and he grins as he closes the distance between us. I make a move to shift out of the way, but he doesn’t allow it. He wraps his fingers around my waist, dipping his chin before he brushes his lips across mine.