Page 74 of Fighting Fate
20
It is a proper baby.
That’s all I keep thinking while I stare down at the scan image. I can’t bring myself to look away, even with Willow finally sitting on the other end of the couch. Maybe it’s that the conversations Mom keeps forcing on me—the endless quips and chastisements of my behaviour—are finally too much to ignore. The shame she keeps berating me with has dug in deep.
“I meant what I said downstairs,” Willow murmurs, pinching the corner of the image strip and tugging it out of my hands lightly. “This isn’t your problem.”
The words churn in the pit of my stomach. I’ve never considered myself a coward before, but now, seeing the hurt I’ve caused staring back at me, I don’t know whether that’s true. All of this time, I thought I was doing the right thing and saving others from having to deal with all the shit I’ve dealt with internally since my father died, but Mom is right. I’ve protected myself. No one has been able to get close until now because I’ve actively pushed them away. But Willow…
Fuck, she’s got so deep under my skin that I feel completely hollow when she’s gone. The last four days have been endless. I’ve sought her out everywhere I look, even in my dreams. She’s always there in my head, and my heart feels empty without her. It all feels so damn void and meaningless. As though she’s taken over my soul, and without her, there’s nothing but darkness.
“No hard feelings,” she whispers, but the way she swallows afterwards says otherwise.
“Willow…” I swivel to face her, and my words all seem to dry up. This girl is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid my sights on. There isn’t a single thing about her that I would change. Nothing that I can twist and spin in some light that will ease the fucking ache of being without her because all I can see are all the reasons I’ve fallen for her. Her sense of humour mixed with her feistiness and even her sharp tongue.
“Honestly, Rory, it’s fine. You made your choice, and I tried to go along with it, but in the end, I had to make mine. I know it’s not what you want…thing is, I’ve given every guy that’s gone through my life what they want and ignored my own needs and wishes, and it’s made me miserable. For once, as selfish as it sounds, and it is, I’m doing what’s best for me.” She shrugs, smiling down at the photo strip in her hand.
Jealousy hits me hard as I watch that adoring flutter of her lashes. It’s impossible to ignore how deeply in love she already is with this kid. There’s no escaping reality—I’m an asshole. No buts. No excuses or justifications.
“When we started this, we agreed it wasn’t meant to be serious and there were no consequences. I fucked up, and while I’m happy with it, I don’t expect anything from you…”
“Things have changed.”
“They have and…” She lets out a long breath. “It’s your worst nightmare.”
“I was talking out of my ass.”
“It’s the truth, and it was written all over you, Rory. You couldn’t even look at me, and then you left me to deal with the problem.” She air quotes the last two words with a sardonic expression twisting her pretty face. “Sure, maybe you were talking out of your arse, but your actions backed it up.”
“Babe—”
“Oh my God,” she scoffs, standing abruptly before pacing the length of the coffee table.
Willow’s wearing a loose grey T-shirt that falls off one shoulder and black yoga pants. Her long legs are toned, and her ass when she pauses in front of me, facing the tall shelves that encase the television, looks so damn juicy that my hands itch at the sight.
“It’s going to take a lot more than a cute pet name for me to get over that.” Turning to face me, Willow anchors her hands on her hips. Still holding on to the image strip as though she’s scared that I’ll steal it. “You did the exact same thing as every other guy before you. The worst part is that I tried to push you away, but you still chased me.”
“I wanted you…more than I’ve ever wanted anything,” I say, desperate for her to let her guard down and let me back in. “I still do. Fuck, I want you so damn bad that I’m going insane. The last few days…”
“Have been a mindfuck. You think you’ve gone insane, but you walked out of here without looking back. You—”
“You told me to leave!” My frustration pushes me to my feet. If it wasn’t for the coffee table, there would be no distance or space between us.
“You didn’t want to stay.”
“That’s not true.”
“Bullshit it isn’t.” The grit in her voice echoes through me as she rounds the table and stands in front of me.
The anger blazing in her eyes makes my chest tighten. Every cell of my DNA is screaming for her. Even so, she stands back as if she can’t see how much I need her.
“You took the first out you could get. After all the chasing and all the sweet words, you turned out to be the biggest bastard. The biggest fucking liar I’ve ever let into my life. You picked me, took me for a ride, and when you lost control, you jumped out and left me to crash. At least the others had the decency to pick me up and throw me away.”
“I’m not throwing you away.” When I take a step forward, she edges back. I don’t give her the chance to get away again. Grasping the hem of her top, I pull her towards me, allowing her body to crush to mine. “I want you more now than I did back when we started this. I want you and everything that comes with.”
“You want everything except for this baby.” Willow slams her hand into my chest with the scan pictures. “I hope you realise how ridiculous that sounds.”
“What I said was wrong…what I did…the way I acted…I’m so sorry. I feel like a jackass, and I know how badly I hurt you. I know I have to make up for it, and I will. I promise, sweetheart.”