Page 2 of Crossing the Line

Maybe, just maybe, this could work after all. Hope blooms in my chest and I feel happier than I have in a long time. Now, the only thing I need to confirm is whether Tam really is willing to give this ménage thing a try.

****

Tam

I must have been fucking nuts to agree to this. I’m here in this hotel room staring at Jules sitting cross-legged in the middle of the super-luxe king-sized bed, and all I can think about is not wanting to share her with anyone. She looks about twelve years old in that oversized white robe. Her shoulder-length blonde hair is damp on the ends and it’s starting to curl as it dries. She hates her wavy hair and straightens it every chance she can get, but I love it best just like this—wild and kind of untamed-looking. It matches her personality, at least as I know it. Jules is a risk-taker. She loves trying new things, especially when it comes to sex.

Everyone else in our lives sees only the staid, abide-by-the-rules version of Julia, but every so often she lets me in to her darker side, and it’s in those rare moments of true connection that I’m reminded all over again just how much I love my quirky wife.

That’s why I’m here, of course, indulging this whim of hers. How could I say no when those gorgeous hazel eyes silently beg for a yes? How can I ever say no to Jules, when part of me wants to be led down those darker paths of hers, once in a while at least? She’s all I’ve known, and yeah, of course I’ve had fantasies about others. Mostly women, which is kind of funny when we’re sitting here waiting for a guy to turn up and join us for our first real-life ménage experience.

Have I ever had fantasies about sex with a guy? Yeah, definitely. Sometimes I wonder what it’d be like to suck cock. I mean, I think I’d be pretty good at it, knowing what it feels like from the other perspective. I’ve smeared my own pre-cum all over one of Julia’s breasts and tried it out, bunching her generous flesh in my fist and sucking in as much as I can, but I doubt doing that is even close to the real thing.

Jules and I are pretty adventurous in the bedroom, or at least, we used to be. She’s fucked me a few times with a strap-on dildo she bought off the internet, and man, does it feel good. We read up about tickling the prostate, and I can attest first-hand to the increase in my pleasure when she applies pressure in just the right spot near my bum. In the height of the moment I must’ve shared some of my threesome fantasies out loud, and she’s taken our fictional trysts and is about to turn one of them into reality.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that even though I call this fantasy Julia’s, it’s mine as well. Tonight, I need to be honest about how I feel, and I guess that starts with admitting there’s a little part of me that’s incredibly turned on at the thought of what we’re about to do with this Darcy guy when he gets here.

Turned on and shit-scared, in equal measure.

Now we’re here, waiting for our third to arrive, my heart is pounding as hard as it does when I’ve lifted more weight than I should’ve at the gym and my breathing is definitely not fully under control.

It’s one thing to have fantasies and keep them tucked safe inside your head. It’s another to blurt out some of those fantasies to your loved one in the heat of a passionate moment. It’s a whole other level altogether for that loved one to call your bluff and commit in person like this. I feel … exposed. Naked. Even though I’m wearing an equivalent fluffy white robe kindly provided by the hotel for its guests.

What will Darcy be like in person? We’ve already been messaging him for a couple of weeks, and spoken to him on the phone a few times. He actually sounds pretty decent, and I have to admit, the thought of that deep, slightly gravelly voice whispering sexy words into Julia’s ear creates a bit of a reaction in my dick. I can imagine her lying there, sandwiched between the stranger and me, her eyes half closed in pleasure as we each take one of her over-sized breasts into our mouths. Yeah, more than a bit of a reaction. Blood heats my cock and it begins to stiffen in earnest.

Regardless of my nerves I can’t deny the titillation of this moment … about to carry through with something we’d previously only talked about. Yet, there are still so many stupid thoughts running through my head I feel like I need to take one of Julia’s chill pills, the ones she took when we flew to Thailand a couple of years ago for a holiday and she completely freaked out about the flight.

What if she likes him more than me?What if I like it too much, and turn gay?What if we end up not together anymore? Jules is the mother of my kids, for Christ’s sake. I can’t lose her. Why did I agree…

The knock is firm. Decisive. No hesitation on the other side of the door. Julia’s face lights up and she jumps off the bed so quickly her legs get tangled up in her robe. She almost trips and I grab her by the elbow to steady her. She turns to me, and for a moment I read indecision in her features. I’m positive she can read the same uncertainty in mine. She briefly bites her bottom lip and her eyes are wide and a little scared.

“I’m sorry, Tam. It’s not too late. If you don’t want to do this—”

“You want this, Jules. Don’t you?” I cup her chin, tipping up her face so I can properly stare into her eyes. This close she doesn’t look young anymore. She looks every inch her age, as if the weight of this decision is taking its toll. But she seems to appreciate my touch when I stroke my thumb gently across her cheek. Her rounded jawline is so familiar. I love this woman so much. Perhaps something of my love must communicate itself to her, because the panic in her eyes recedes. She tilts her head a little to one side, encouraging my caress.

“I think so. I’m not sure. What if … oh! So many what ifs!” She laughs, but I hear tension rather than humor. “I don’t want to do this if you don’t…”

Silence stretches as we continue to stare at each other. This woman is everything to me. I’ve loved her from the first moment I laid eyes on her. She’d dropped her books trying to hurry between classes and, just like now, was worrying at her bottom lip with her teeth as she chased down papers. That little habit is as endearing now as it was back then, but I’m the first to admit things haven’t been the same in recent years. Our love’s still there, I know it, but the passion … the excitement … yeah. Not so much.

The knock sounds again, louder this time. More insistent. Julia’s lip quivers and her eyes soften with moisture. What is she thinking? What does she want? I want to please her so badly…

Her arms are dangling by her side and her fists clench and unclench repeatedly. She really is as anxious as me. And I can see it’s going to be up to me to actually take the next step. I straighten my shoulders, suddenly realizing what she needs. She brought us here, but whichever way this goes, the final decision is to be mine. Okay. Time to man up. “Of course I want to do this, babe. I wouldn’t have paid for this expensive hotel room if I didn’t.”

My grin, and my feeble attempt at a joke, appears to be the right response. She smiles radiantly, and within that grin it’s as if the weight of years drops away from her features. She looks young again, happy, just as she used to look before life wore both of us down.

I give her what I hope is an encouraging grin in return, then stride to the door and swing it open. I have to admit, I’m relieved when I see the man standing there is about an inch or two shorter than me. Not sure why that matters, but it does. I take a deep breath and reach out my hand to shake his. “Darcy, nice to meet you. I’m Tam. Come on in.”