Page 115 of The Quit List
A little lump forms in my throat as I stare at my phone screen in the darkness.
I miss you, too. It’s stupid, but I kind of wish you could be here right now.
A crack of light suddenly illuminates the room, and I look up to see that my door is being pushed open.
“Aubs?” I murmur in confusion.
“It’s me.” That gravelly, deep, familiar voice fills the room and my heart feels whole all at once. “I, uh… might have made use of the spare key under your pants doormat. Which is not that wise, by the way. Makes it real easy for someone to break in.”
“Jax! You’re here?!” I ignore his extremely valid point as I half-sit in bed, attempting to smooth my hair as I take in the welcome sight of him. He’s illuminated by the light in the hall, and he’s got his phone in one hand and Rick tucked up in his other.
I’m not entirely sure I’m not dreaming right now.
“Wait. What are you doing here?”
“Like I said, Rick missed you. Begged me to come say hi, in fact. He was pretty relentless, so I eventually gave in.” Jax is close enough to me now that I can see his eyes roaming all over my face, like he’s drinking me in.
When he meets my eyes, his expression turns a little bashful. But even in the dark room, I see the shadows under his eyes. See how tired he looks. “You drove three hours back to the city in the middle of the night because Rick begged you to?”
“Sure, let’s go with that.”
Rick jumps out of Jax’s arms and curls up next to me, nuzzling his head into my arm. Meanwhile, his Mountain Man Daddy gives me the softest, dopiest look before he kicks off his shoes, takes off his shirt, and slips into bed next to me.
It’s the first time we’ve shared a bed (or tent or sleeping bag) since the camping trip, and yet, it feels so familiar. Like something we’ve done a million times before and will do a million times more.
He wraps his arms around me, cradling me to his chest, as he continues, “Let’s go with that and not that I was so happy to talk to you again. That when you texted me, it made me miss you so much that I had to come see you tonight. Even if it was just to quickly say good night.”
I swallow the lump in my throat as I relax in his arms, not quite believing that he’s come all this way for the sole purpose of saying good night to me.
“I’m glad,” I tell him. “Even though I feel bad that you’re going to be insanely exhausted tomorrow.”
“That sounds like a then problem, not a now problem,” he replies sleepily, but I can hear the smile in his voice.
“Mmm, what’s a now problem, then?”
“Maybe that I’ve been up at the cabin since yesterday morning, and the whole time I was out there, all I could think about was doing this.”
He half-sits, takes my chin, and kisses me.
In an instant, my world lights up.
He kisses me with an intensity that I can feel everywhere—a resolved intention that makes it hard to catch my breath.
Our kisses have ranged from hot and fiery to slow and steamy, all of them equally spark-and-firework filled, but this one is new. This one is achingly tender.
He caresses my face, strokes my hair, moves his lips against mine over and over, like he’s communicating something he can’t put into words. Like he truly cherishes me, like he never wants to let me go.
This feels like… love.
“Thank you, Holly,” he whispers against my lips.
I peer at him through the darkness. “For what?”
“For believing in me when I could barely believe in myself.”
“I’d bet on you with my last dollar, Jaxon Grainger.” I say this with conviction because I mean it with everything in me.
He blows out a breath. Closes his eyes for a moment before saying, “I’m not great with feelings, but I need you to know that you mean the world to me, Holly.”