Page 81 of The Quit List
But I’d be lying if I said I haven’t found myself back there again since that night with Holly.
No less than twice, I might add.
And I might have to go a third time today to get one of Holly’s crisis milkshakes, because I have my last shift at Full Moon this morning. Right after that, Holly and I are heading to the cabin so we can go on a damned multi-day—and night—hike together.
Which gives me approximately three more hours to get my head together, while simultaneously wondering where her head is at.
I wish the music in the club hadn’t stopped when it did…
So much for me never taking anyone I’m romantically involved with to the wilderness again. Because like it or not, I have feelings that are most definitely romantic for Holly. That much is crystal clear to me.
What’s not clear to me is what she feels—or doesn’t.
But we’re not romantically involved with each other, a little voice in my head reminds me. Maybe she moved towards me the other night because she was tipsy and having fun. Maybe, at that moment, she was looking for a “temporary distraction” after the non-starter of a date with Aaron and a run-in with Dylan.
It doesn’t help that I haven’t seen Holly since that night. We’ve been texting back and forth a lot, coordinating details for our trip and talking about some social media accounts she was kind enough to set up for me. But nothing feels different between us, far as I can tell via text. I’m left wondering if I should have just kissed her on her front doorstep, while she was in my arms, or if I’m reading too much into something that doesn’t have any business being read.
This is all in the back of my mind as I power through the Saturday brunch service—which mostly consists of mimosas and Irish coffees on my end.
Before I know it, I’m clocking out of the job I’ve held for the past four years for the last time.
“Jax!” Orlagh’s voice is thick as she locks the restaurant’s front door behind the last brunch customer. “I can’t believe it’s finally time. We’re going to miss you around here.”
“Nah, what you’re really gonna miss is Rick’s company on Monday nights,” I joke, embarrassed that, under the surface, I’m actually beginning to feel a little emotional.
Because it’s all starting to feel very real. All becoming very real.
“Good riddance, is what I say!” Dante says cheerfully, whacking me on the back. Below his breath, for my ears only, he adds, “With you gone, maybe Kara will finally go out with me.”
“I hope so,” I tell him honestly. Then, I grin. “For your sake, obviously. Not hers.”
Dante laughs. A couple of the waitresses go on to gather some champagne flutes from behind the bar, and Kara passes them around.
“To Jax,” she says softly. “We really will miss you.”
“I’ll, um, miss you guys, too.”
And as I hold my glass up to them, I realize it’s true.
As much as I want to leave, Full Moon has been a huge part of my life the last few years. It’s what I told Holly on Stone Mountain all those weeks ago—maybe time is what’s needed to bring you to where you need to be. And my time here at the bar has put me in the exact spot I’m in today—with the cabin of my dreams, launching my own business, and about to go on my very first hike as a certified guide.
Funny how things go.
We drink our champagne, and then, a round of hugs is thrust upon me. Which I return with as much enthusiasm as I can, though I’m not a hugger. These people have been a great work family, and it really is the end of an era.
Orlagh squeezes me super tight before swatting my arm. “I’ll be sure to book this motley crew in for a teambuilding wilderness excursion.”
I chuckle warmly. “I would like that very much.”
Kara hugs me last. I go to give her a quick, platonic pat on the back, but she wraps her arms around my shoulders and pulls me close. “Now that we don’t work together, maybe we could hang out sometime?”
I offer Kara what I hope is a kind smile. “I don’t think so. You’re great, but?—”
“It’s her, isn’t it?” Disappointment passes over the waitress’s features. “Holly?”
I open my mouth to say no, it’s not anyone but me, myself and I, but nothing comes out.
Because now that I don’t work with her, I should have no problem going out with Kara. She doesn’t seem eager to settle down and get into anything serious, and if we’re no longer coworkers, I won’t be breaking my dating rules to take her out. She’s nice looking, and has a fun personality. I’m sure we’d have a good time together.