Page 137 of Fighting Fate
Miles looks at me, a trace of confusion in his eyes, as he tries to understand why I've stopped our kiss. He leans in, his forehead resting against mine for a fleeting second before pulling away, a look of emptiness crossing his face. "God, what was I thinking? That shouldn't have happened. You might think that's all I'm after. Tonight, it seems like I'm not thinking straight. Milli, you should've stopped me?—"
But then, it's my turn to quiet his doubts, my lips meeting his once more. I let the kiss deepen, savoring the moment, allowing him to unwind and let go of the tension that had previously seized him. As he relaxes, his hands settle on my waist again. I ease back slightly, just enough to meet his eyes, seeing the hint of his familiar smirk returning.
"You're quite the charmer," he says, a trace of admiration in his voice.
With a casual shrug, I respond, "I'm aware," mirroring his smirk with one of my own.
His playful squeeze elicits a gentle chuckle from me. Our intimate sphere fades into obscurity—the distant sounds of conversation, the cars departing the lot, all seem inconsequential. It's just us, here and now, the connection between us intensifying with each heartbeat. The warmth of his nearness, the locking of our gazes—it's like looking at the one constant in my life, my ally in every moment of joy and adversity. I finally release the words that I have been yearning to escape, the words I've longed to say to him once more.
"I love you."
He pauses, his eyes briefly widening, a flicker of surprise or perhaps realization crossing his face, before he exhales slowly. My heart teeters on the edge of uncertainty, silently begging for him to echo the sentiment. Just once more, to hear those words that mean everything. Surely, after the journey we've navigated together, after all the laughter, tears, and silent understandings, it can't be too much to ask for.
As I'm caught in this whirlwind of thought, Miles' lips meet mine once more, setting off a torrent of emotions. His words, tender and heartfelt, brush against my lips. "God, I love you too, Mills. That feeling never faded, not since the first time I admitted it. I've been caught up in a battle against fate, doubting if I was ever enough for you. With my illness, I feared being a burden, that a future with me would be too much. I thought you deserved someone healthier, stronger, someone who could offer you everything."
Yet he fails to see—with or without his illness—he's always been the one for me, my steadfast constant, my future.
A smile breaks across my face, our lips still intertwined. "Miles, stop resisting it. You've always been my future," I say, laughter lacing my voice. "Haven't you realized? I've always had a crush on you."
His tickling evokes a laugh from me. "Oh, I knew," he responds with a tease.
I draw back slightly, injecting a lighthearted note into my voice, "You did?" followed by a soft push against his shoulder. "Why didn't you say anything?"
He stands there, hands casually rubbing the back of his neck. "Would I be a jerk if I said I liked seeing you react to every wink and blush at every touch?" A smirk plays across his lips.
This endearing, yet maddening man.
It's charming in a way, but also frustrating. If he knew all along, why the silence?
"I kept quiet because I didn't want to jeopardize what we had," he admits, shrugging slightly. "Obviously, that wasn't the best plan. Just look at us now."
Drawing closer, I wrap my arms around his neck, leaving past crushes behind as they seem inconsequential now. "So, what's 'now'?" I ask, his arms encircling my waist and effortlessly lifting me, my legs naturally wrapping around him.
As he carries me toward his truck, my back pressing against the cool metal, a shiver of both chill and memory runs through me. It's only been months, yet it feels like an eternity has passed. Our foreheads touch, and he releases a deep sigh.
His admission, laced with regret, hangs heavily between us, underscoring the depth of our connection and the complexities of his journey. "If you can forgive my stubbornness over the past month, maybe longer," he starts, his voice echoing with remorse. "I was foolish, not handling things the way I should have. My cancer diagnosis, the pressure about the NFL, the end of my college football dreams—it all hit me hard. But that's no excuse for the pain I caused."
His sigh is exasperated, revealing the struggle to express these burdens. I run my fingers through his hair, encouraging him to continue. Bottling up feelings can be so damaging; they tend to sneak up on you when least expect it, causing more harm than good.
He gives a gentle squeeze at my side, his expression turning earnest. "I know I was wrong for shutting you out, for ignoring the help from those who cared. It was a real ass move, and I get that. But I swear, Milli, I won't do that again. Hell, I'll even let you kick my ass, maybe even give me a good spanking." He winks. Yet, his eyes hold a commitment to making that particular scenario a reality, and hopefully, it might come soon. Although, just to clarify, he'd be the one doing the spanking, not me.
"But I'm making you a promise, Milli—no more shutting you out. I'll be open, honest, let you in, especially now as I face this fight with cancer."
The sincerity in his eyes is unmistakable. A shiver of anticipation runs through me at his words, but then he continues, "Falling for you, Mills? It's like I stumbled upon a hidden treasure in all our good times together. It totally took me by surprise, but it's the best kind of surprise. You know, I never really got to choose who I fell for. It was always you, sneaking up on me, weaving your way into my heart when I least expected it. Being in love with someone who gets me completely—that's us. Every inside joke, every late-night heart-to-heart, it's all turned into something more. Something deep and exciting. It feels like all those laughs and tears we've shared have just knitted us closer, in a way that's super comfortable but also completely new and thrilling."
He leans in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "And...I want to be able to say I love you as many times as I want to and...I want to fuck you, hear those sweet whimpers and moans of yours, whenever, because, I can."
"Say that again," I prompt, a mix of playfulness and depth in my voice.
He wiggles his eyebrows as he says, "What? That I want to fuck you when I can? Wherever and whenever? Hear those sweet soun?—"
I quickly silence him, placing my hand over his mouth. "Not just that part."
He looks at me, a soft smile playing on his lips. "Oh, you mean when I said I love you? Because I do, Mills. I really do, so damn much."
His declaration resonates deeply, and for a moment, I'm rendered speechless, caught up in the emotion of it all. But then, finding my voice, I respond with our characteristic playful banter, "So you think you can handle all of this, Sunshine?"
He replies with confidence, "I've been ready for you since day one, Milli Girl." In that instant, everything falls into place. The laughter, the love, the journey we've been on—it's all led to this moment, and I can't help but feel like it's exactly where we're meant to be.