Page 77 of Passing Notes

“Here you go.” Willa thrust my bag at me. I took it and dug through it for my keys. “You have every right to feel angry,” she whispered, pulling me into the foyer and gesturing for Sadie to follow. “When guilt tries to creep in with it, do not let it. This entire situation is horrid and unfair.”

“I’m already feeling guilty. I should go out there right now but?—”

“Hush, it won’t hurt anything to wait,” Sadie soothed. “Malcolm slithered off back to wherever he came from, right? He doesn’t live with them.”

“You’re right, he probably wouldn’t do anything to really hurt them anyway. That’s the entire point of keeping me quiet, isn’t it? And I’m such an angry mess, I can’t think straight.”

She wrapped an arm around me, and Willa joined her on the other side, pulling me tighter until I ended up squished in the middle of a three-way sister hug. Which, considering I was about to lose my dang mind, was the perfect place to be.

“We’re supposed to have dinner together at his place later,” I mumbled into Sadie’s shoulder. “How am I supposed to do this? I’m exhausted. I mean, god forbid I get to keep anything to myself, right?”

“We’re coming home with you,” Willa declared. “We all know better than to try to deal with things alone by now, don’t we? No running. No hiding. We need each other.”

“Damn right,” Sadie agreed. “Let’s go. We’ll stop at the Piggly Wiggly on the way to your place, because I know your fridge is empty. Those cookies were delicious, but they won’t hold me over until I get back home. And you’ll need something later too.”

We said our goodbyes and headed out to Sadie’s minivan.

I let out a huge sigh, knowing they’d be giving me so much shit. “My kitchen is not empty anymore. Nick convinced me to keep my house stocked when I was sick...”

“Oh, he convinced you, did he? You mean that time when he left work to rush to your side and hold your hair back when you were puking, carry you to bed, make you chicken soup, and take care of you when you were sick because he’s in love with you? You mean that time? That’s when he convinced you?” Sadie’s grin told me she was going to go off and I couldn’t blame her. I’d done the same thing to her several times when she was falling for Barrett.

I rolled my eyes and bit back a smile. “Yeah. And?”

“So you, Miss Clara Jean Hill, the woman who subsists on coffee, angst, and whatever food her loved ones happen to bring by, went to the Piggly Wiggly and bought yourself some groceries.” She gave Willa an exaggerated eyebrow waggle in the rearview mirror. “Clara, you’re frustrated now, and you have every right to be, but I see good things in your future. Don’t you agree, Willa?”

“Yes, I sure do, Sadie.” She stuck her fist through the seats and Sadie backward bumped it with a laugh.

“Whatever.” I couldn’t wipe the begrudging grin off my face as they continued teasing me all the way back to my house.

I deserved more than to be someone’s secret. I was good enough. They were all right. I deserved to be loved no matter what I’d done in the past.

I had to finally take my therapist’s advice and take time to grieve the life I never got to have. The mother I’d never had...

And the love I had lost because I was too young to know that it was everything I would ever need.

They stayed long enough to ensure I ate a sandwich and took some medicine for my headache, then they tucked me into bed for a nap and left to bring back my car.

Dinner with Nick later was still on, but I had to pull myself together first—and I would. Because I was my own knight in shining armor, and I deserved to be happy.

CHAPTER 23

CLARA

We’ll get through this. We can handle anything that comes our way

as long as we have each other. - Nick

Iwoke up in the dark to loud pounding at my front door. I’d slept longer than I had planned.

Nick wouldn’t bang on my door like that.

When I made it to the base of the stairs, the door flew open, thudding against the wall. Squinting into the dark of my foyer I tried to make out who was standing there. “Malcolm?”

I was disoriented from my nap and still exhausted from my perpetual lack of sleep. Belatedly, I ran my hand up the wall next to me to flick the light on. Taking my eyes off him would not end up good for me. His energy was off; it sent a chill up my spine.

“What did you tell her?” His voice cracked through the silence like a whip.

“Who?”