Page 40 of Never Finished
"Yes, mama. A long time ago," I replied.
"She broke your heart," she said matter-of-factly.
I sucked in a long breath. "Well, yes, I guess you could say she did. But we were kids, and she didn't mean to." I found in situations like this, it was easiest to explain things simply to Mama instead of bogging her down with all the details.
She watched me for a moment and she didn't look like my mother, but a young, scared girl. "I don't remember her—how could I forget the person who broke my baby's heart? Jaime, what is happening to me?"
I could see the tears in her eyes and I rushed to her, putting my arms around her. "Mama, it’s okay. Please don’t cry. Sometimes when we get older, we get forgetful. But don’t worry, we’re here to help you remember, okay? You’re in a house full of people who love you. We won’t let you forget."
She pulled back, looking at me, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, my handsome boy, you're too sweet for words, just like your father."
I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat. When Mama got her diagnosis, we were warned about how hard this would be, but nothing could prepare us for these moments. I was struggling for the right words to say when the sound of the front door opening had us turning curiously.
Sofia walked in cautiously, stopping to take in a long breath. “Well, look at who the cat dragged,” my mother said, moving away from me and towards my sister. Sofia immediately tensed at the sound of our mother’s voice.
“Hi Mama,” Sofia said.
“Hi Mama? That’s all you have to say to me? I don’t see you for weeks at a time and all I get is ‘hi mama’?” she groused.
Sofia opened her mouth to respond but Mama just put up a hand, “Come on, you’re going to make us late for dinner,” and with that she shuffled towards the dining room, leaving a startled Sofia to stand gaping at me.
I shrugged. “You heard the woman. Let’s go eat,” I said, trying to sound jovial as I put an arm around my sister’s shoulder, hoping she could derive some comfort from the gesture. “I’m really glad you’re here,” I whispered in her ear as we made our way to the dining room.
She made a face. “Jury’s still out for me.” As soon as we hit the doorway, Sofia stopped and exclaimed in surprise, “Emma?”
Emma smiled from her seat next to Maria and rose to greet Sofia. Sofia rushed around the table and gave her a big hug. “My God, I can’t believe you’re actually here. I heard you were back in town, but I never expected to see you here.” I was glad Sofia seemed so relieved by Emma’s presence. Maybe that would help dinner go a little more smoothly.
Before Sofia could start picking Emma’s brain, Mama took her place at the head of the table and announced, “There will be time for chitchat in a minute, but first we say grace.”
We took our seats obediently and joined hands. I couldn’t help but squeeze Emma’s hand as Mama said grace. She smiled at me warmly, and I couldn’t stop my mind from imagining a lifetime of Sunday family dinners with this woman by my side.
Slow down Jaime.
My heart definitely knew what it wanted, but I would be a fool to think everything was going to just magically fall into place. Emma had been through a lot and had some big decisions to make before I had any hope of keeping her around permanently. I had to be patient.
The conversation was formal at first. We kept to safe topics, like how things were going at work or Maria’s impending bundle of joy. Soon Mama started talking about the joys of having a daughter and Sofia’s disgruntled sighs were audible.
“Is there something you wish to add, Sofia?” Mama asked tersely, and the food I’d been chewing turned to sawdust in my mouth. Maria and Emma stilled, watching carefully even as they continued to push their food around.
For a split second, I saw the same expression on Sofia's face as I had when we were children and she’d gotten in trouble, but it was quickly replaced with obstinance. Sucking in a deep breath, she forged ahead, “Well, Mother, I just find it ironic that you preach the closeness of the mother/daughter relationship when you threw out your eldest daughter over your own prejudice.”
Maria let out a long sigh, muttering, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph,” and Emma’s hand squeezed my thigh beneath the table, though I’m not sure if that was meant to comfort me or reassure herself. “Sofia,” I started, feeling like I needed to say something as the oldest, but mama wasn’t having it.
“No Jaime, it’s okay. I can fight my own battles, though I am confused as to why Sofia is picking a fight. I would never throw out one of my children…”
Sofia snickered. “Maybe not literally, but your attitude told me everything I needed to know. I opened myself up to you, brought someone I cared about to meet you and you spent the whole time making your disapproval known.”
“How?” my mother demanded to know.
“Maybe this isn’t the time or place—” Maria started, but mama put up her hand to shush her and Maria obeyed.
“Are you kidding me? You kept saying things like ‘you brought her here’ or ‘this woman is who you are with?’ I mean, it doesn’t get more transparent than that. I was terrified to come out to you and it turns out all my fears were justified.”
Our mother sprang from her seat, nearly knocking the chair over in the process, and everyone tensed even further. “How dare you come into this house—my house—and show me such disrespect? It’s one thing to put up with your sulky attitude, Sofia, but I will not have you coming in here and implying that I’m a bigot. Especially not towards my own daughter.”
Sofia stared at our mother sullenly and my hand found Emma’s beneath the table, and this time I knew for sure I was holding onto it for my comfort. Emma cut her eyes to me and gave me a reassuring smile.
My mother continued, “Why on earth didn’t you tell me this was how you felt? I would have been more than happy to explain.”