Page 27 of Passion

The minute I closed my car door, Gentry was standing at the back door, waiting for me. I had an attitude out of this world, but not at him. It was the situation and Clayton being a whole nigga. Keeping the peace was hard. I didn’t want my babies to see me unhinged. They’d never witnessed that, and I didn’t want them to start seeing it. By the time I got to the back door, Gentry was standing on the back patio.

Instead of going to him, I sat on a lounge chair near the pool. When I saw him standing over me, I stood and kissed his lips. He hugged me tightly and kissed my head. “I’m sorry, baby.”

I nodded. “Can I get a few more minutes to myself?” I asked.

He seemed a little frustrated like I was, but he was probably upset about the situation as well. I would hope he wasn’t frustrated with me. After about ten minutes, I made my way inside to see him putting food into Tupperware. When I tried to help him, he turned to me and said, “I got it. I take it that the kids won’t be here no time soon.”

I huffed. “Not this weekend anyway. I don’t understand why he’s playing games like this. I’ve never seen him behave this way. I mean, I understood his hesitancy at first, but to go as far as verbally attacking you is different. There was no reason for that. I don’t want to have to go to court behind this. That process could take longer.”

“Why would it take longer? Just file a complaint, saying he isn’t abiding by the court documents.”

“There are no court documents, Gentry. We just agreed that the kids would live with me because I’m their mother, and I was the one that asked him to do this. Nothing is through the courts.”

“Shit.”

“Tell me about it. He’s worried about me not knowing you well enough, but it seems as if I don’t know him right now. I don’t want to drag my kids through this unnecessary drama! Fuck!”

He approached, wanting to hug me, but I put my hand up. “I’m sorry, Flem. Not right now, baby.”

He stared at me as I walked away. I didn’t want to feel soft right now. I was pissed, and I didn’t want to lash out at him. He didn’t deserve that shit. I went straight to the bathroom to shower and locked myself in there. The desire to punch something was strong. I should have gone down to Gentry’s workout room. He had a punching bag in there.

Just as I made up my mind to do that, he knocked on the door. I opened it and stared at him. “I’m sorry. I’m just so fucking angry right now.”

“Come on,” he said as the tension eased in his facial expressions.

I knew he didn’t like being shut out, but I needed him to understand that I wouldn’t leave him that way. Communication was hard for me at times because I never had to really do it. When it came to my true feelings, I always felt like no one wanted to hear it. Now, my best friend, who listened to all my complaints, was the one I had a complaint with.

We entered the workout room, and I went straight to the bag and started swinging. I could feel Gentry staring at me as I did so. I needed to get the aggression off me. When I tired out and looked up, he was gone. I was dripping with sweat. If I didn’t need a shower before, I surely needed one now.

Leaving the room, I nearly walked right into him. He stared at me, scanning me from head to toe, then grabbed my hand, leading me back to the bedroom. I followed him in silence, admiring his slender but toned frame. He’d taken off his clothes and only adorned a pair of basketball shorts. My aggression was gone, and now, all I wanted was to be loved on. Gentry didn’t deserve my silence, but I was having trouble vocalizing how horrible I felt.

I didn’t want him to think I was regretting marrying him. That was far from the truth. My biggest regret was not having true custody of my children, trusting that Clayton would always do right by me. He was behaving like a selfish, jealous child, and my tolerance wouldn’t be able to handle it for too long. The kids still didn’t even know about Gentry. I wanted them to meet him and establish a foundation for potentially amazing relationships.

Gentry led me to the bathroom where he’d run me a bubble bath and had placed a glass of wine on the tub. Soft music was playing, and the ambiance was amazing. I swallowed the lump in my throat as he turned to me. “I understand you more than you think. I know it’s hard to verbalize just how you feel, but you can start by verbalizing it to yourself. Look in the mirror and tell yourself exactly how you feel. That will eventually make it easier to share those feelings with me.”

He pulled me closer to him and began slowly taking off my clothes. “I don’t like feeling shut out, Elle. I want to be the one you confide in. I want to be your best friend, not just your lover. I promise that you have that in me. This process is going to be tedious and hard. Please don’t make it any harder on me. I don’t like drama, but for you, I will endure it. I told them that I didn’t mind if the woman had children, but I couldn’t do drama. I know there wasn’t any drama until I entered the picture.”

“I’m so sorry, Flem. I never expected Clayton to behave this way. He’s always been cool about who I decided to date. It feels like he’s jealous of what I have with you. I don’t think it has anything to do with the kids. I mean, I could be wrong, but that’s what it feels like. I need my babies with me. This is hard.”

He pulled my naked body to his. “I know, baby. Let’s get you cleaned up though. I didn’t know I married Rocky Balboa.”

I chuckled. “Are you getting in with me?”

“Naw. I was just gonna sit on the side and bathe you.”

“Will you get in with me? Please?”

“Absolutely.”

He pulled his shorts off to reveal that monster anaconda. He wasn’t wearing drawers. I pulled him to me for a kiss, then he stepped in the tub and held his hand out to me. I grabbed it and joined him in the tub. Once he sat, I sat in between his legs. Thank God for this large air tub. Had we been at my place, there would have been no way we both would have fit in the tub, even with as long and slender as Gentry was.

I lay back against him and took a deep breath as he wrapped his arms around me. He lowered his head and kissed my cheek and my neck. Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to feel the consolation he was providing and thanked God for giving me a man that would take care of not only my heart but my soul.

“I can’t believe he’s doing this,” my mama said as she placed her finger to her chin.

She only did that when she was in deep thought. “I know. Including the length of time I was on my honeymoon, he’s had them for three weeks. This shit is getting harder by the day.”

I’d gone to my mama’s office after work. We closed early on Fridays, and I decided to take that time to talk to her alone. Jorie had come with her to Clayton’s house on Wednesday, so I didn’t speak as freely. My mama always listened objectively. I appreciated that.