Page 80 of Poison and Wine

With dread filling me, I started for the car. Caterina’s face flashed before mine as I climbed into the SUV. I wondered what her reaction would be if it was one of my brothers coming to tell her I’d been lost in the field. Would she be sad? Would she feel relief? Would she shed a tear for me?

Considering Sean and Bridget had been together since they were teenagers, I knew I couldn’t make comparisons between us. They’d been married for five years and had a three-year-old-son. They’d built a life together where Caterina and I were merely starting.

After making the trip across town, we pulled up outside of Sean’s house. I’d called her parents to meet me there. I knew she would need support from her family when I told her the news. As I started up the walk, the front door flung open, and Bridget ran out onto the porch.

I stopped at the bottom step and glanced up at her. That was all it took. Just one look from me and she started to scream.

Telling Bridget was worse than any emotional hell I’d predicted. After staying as long as what would’ve been considered respectful, I broke away from the trauma. I thought if I stayed one more minute inside that house with the wailing women and traumatized men I would lose my mind.

I desperately wanted away from all that grief and sadness. I wanted the safety of home, but more than anything, I wanted Caterina.

As I trudged through the doorway, Owen met me in the hall. At the sight of my face, he grimaced. “I’m so sorry, boss. Sean was a hell of a guy.”

“That he was, Owen,” I replied as I made my way over to the liquor cabinet. After pouring myself a full tumbler of whiskey, I turned around to find Caterina curled up on the couch.

I glanced at Owen with a questioning look. He sighed. “She didn’t want to go to bed until you came home. I thought it was best that you told her what happened.”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

“If you’re good, I’ll head out.”

“Good night, Owen.”

“Good night, boss.”

Once I heard the elevator doors close on Owen, my hand reached out to touch Caterina. My fingers slid through the silky strands of her hair before I brushed my knuckles against her jaw. Despite my touch, she didn’t stir.

With a sigh, I eased down in one of the chairs in front of the window. For a while I just sat there,staring into the night. Even after draining my whiskey, I remained looking out the window in a grief-induced fog. It was only Caterina’s voice that startled me out of my stupor.

“Hey,” she whispered drowsily.

“Hey, Kitten.”

“Are you hungry? I had Lorna leave you a plate in the warmer.”

The only thing that could possibly be a ray of sunshine on this dark day was my beautiful wife with her caring heart. “Thank you, but I’m not hungry.” I motioned upstairs with my glass. “You should get to bed.”

With a sheepish look, she said, “When you didn’t come home, I thought I’d wait for you. I guess I was sleepier than I thought.”

“It’s all right, Kitten.”

After surveying my face, her dark brows furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

“I lost one of my best men tonight.”

“Oh, Callum, I’m so sorry.” Caterina rose off the couch and then knelt beside my chair. She took my free hand in hers and squeezed it. Instead of being irritated by her nearness, her presence somehow soothed me. The cries of anguish playing on repeat in my mind quieted.

“What happened?” she asked.

Normally, I remained tight-lipped about my business around Caterina. But there was something about the empathy that shone in her eyes that made me want to open up to her. “There was an attack on one of our warehouses, and Sean was in charge of protecting it.”

“Tell me about him,” she urged.

A part of me wanted her to leave me alone. To stop trying to get me to open up. But then there was another part that wanted to unburden myself. “Sean had been with the family since Belfast. I danced with his wife at their wedding, and they asked me to be the godfather to their son.” I tossed back the whiskey that remained in my glass. “Tonight I had to stare into the eyes of my godson and tell him his Da was never coming home again.”

When I dared to look into Caterina’s eyes, tears pooled in them. Without a word, she slid her free arm around my shoulder, drawing me against her. Although every fiber of my being fought against taking any comfort, my grief outweighed my reason. When I pulled her up from the floor and onto my lap, I’m sure my father was cackling in hell at the weakness in me.

Pinching my eyes shut, I nestled my head into Caterina’s neck. My nose pressed against her soft skin, inhaling her sweet smell. All the while, she ran wide circles across my back with her hand.