Page 58 of Impossible Thrills

Nick hurried to her and dropped to his knees. Clasping her hands with his, he murmured, “Darcy. I’m so sorry I couldn’t tell you everything?—”

“Everything, Nick?” Her voice was as sharp as he’d ever heard it. “You didn’t tell me anything.”

His eyes widened, and he rocked back on his heels.

She yanked her hands free and clenched them in her lap.

“I’m sorry,” he started again. “At first, I didn’t know how to trust you, and then …”

“Pardon me? You didn’t know how to trust me?”

“When I first saw you on the dock and realized you were Trattori’s ex, I was dumbfounded. How could I get paired with the ex of the man I was investigating?” He studied her. He wanted to explain and reassure her, but there was so much information. “There’s been a lot of speculation about you, whether you knew about Trattori’s drug rings, or if you were innocent.”

“Seriously?” She looked stunned.

He nodded. “At first I thought this might be my chance to find out the truth, maybe get some information on Trattori that would help me take him down.”

She flinched as if he’d slapped her.

“But I quickly realized how innocent and pure you were. I knew you could never have supported Trattori or even known he was a criminal. I knew it.” He brought his hand to his heart.

She stared at him and finally nodded.

“Then I fell so hard for you. I was walking this awful tightrope of falling in love with you and knowing I couldn’t be involved with a target’s ex. Especially a squirrely target like Trattori, who had alluded us for years.”

“I’m not an ex,” she ground out. “I’m a person. A woman who’s fought hard to stand on my own, and you just used me to draw Johnny out?”

“No.” Had he? “I know you’re a person, Darcy. You’re the most important person in my world.”

She raised an eyebrow as if she couldn’t believe that. He was in such deep trouble. He kept talking, praying she could somehow forgive him. “I was going to work nonstop to bring Trattori down so I could be with you, but I changed the plan with Aiden when you said Trattori provided security guards. I knew instantly that was fishy, but I also knew I had to protect you from his filthy men.”

“Johnny’s never tried to hurt me before tonight.” She lifted her chin.

“You’ve never challenged the status quo before tonight,” he said softly. “You bringing a boyfriend here triggered him, and then Paul and I may have triggered some cameras in the basement before we took them out.” He tried to smile.

“You risked my babies,” she said stiffly. “Johnny and his men only came here to take you out.”

“Trattori risked your babies,” he insisted, but his gut churned. If he hadn’t come with her to Tecate, and gone on the offensive so quickly, they might have resolved this with a lot less firepower. Thank heavens none of the innocent children had been hurt. Thank heavens she hadn’t been hurt.

“I can’t.” She held up a hand and sprang to her feet, pushing past him.

Nick stood as well.

Rounding on him, she looked like she wanted to yell and beat on him with her fists, but she gritted out instead, “Since my grandpa died, I’ve never had anyone to trust and love, never had family.”

He nodded that he understood, but did he really? His adoptive family had been incredible, and he’d had always had a loving family and happy home, a safe space and his favorite people eagerly awaiting his return. He couldn’t imagine the uncertainty and pain she’d been through in her life. Then to be schmoozed into marrying a filthy drug dealer …

“I thought you were the one. The man who could love me, protect me, inspire me, thrill me to the core.”

He hoped the same thing.

Darcy shook her head and folded her arms across her chest. “But you’re a liar, just like Johnny was. I can’t trust you, and any love I thought I had for you is gone. Please leave.”

Nick’s stomach bottomed out. Her words were filled with pain, and they were the most final and awful words he’d ever heard in his life. He wanted to fight for her, for them, but he had lied to her, or at least kept the truth from her, and she had every reason to not trust him and to not love him.

“Darcy, I’m so sorry.”

“Please don’t.” She backed into a corner and shook her head.