Page 59 of Impossible Thrills

Nick prayed for help, but he had no idea what to do. He didn’t have the right to hold her and kiss her and heal her, but he found he had to say, “I had to withhold information from you because of my job and international security. I wish it could’ve been different. But please know that what I feel for you is genuine and no matter how muddled and messed up it is, I love you.”

Her eyes widened, and she put a hand to her lips as if remembering their kisses and their love. He felt a stirring of hope and kept talking.

“I love you, Darcy Saint. You have my heart. There will always be things in my line of work that I will have to keep from you. That doesn’t mean I don’t trust you and love you, but it is my life and my work. If you can’t trust or love me, I understand and I don’t blame you. I only pray that you’ll know that I’ll never stop loving you or praying for you.”

Darcy only studied him. She said nothing.

Nick couldn’t take it any longer, staring at the woman he loved and knowing she didn’t love him, didn’t trust him, and he’d broken her heart.

His heart broke as well.

He turned and strode to the door, slipping out of it and hurrying down the hall. He needed to leave, give her some time, pray for a way to show her he loved her.

She let out a heart-wrenching sob. He couldn’t leave her like this.

He turned back. She was in the doorframe. He rushed toward her, praying she’d forgive him, praying that sob meant she did love him and her heart was breaking too.

Tears running down her face, Darcy shut the door in his.

His heart shattered into a thousand pieces.

Chapter

Nineteen

Darcy got through the next ten days. Somehow. She put all her energy into loving and caring for her children and only cried when she was alone at night. Her mind constantly spun, trying to decide if she could find a way to trust Nick again. His last words were beautiful, and they haunted her.

I’ll never stop loving or praying for you.

She prayed for him and she loved him too.

Yet what kind of relationship could they have? The love she had for him was built on lies. Okay, ‘withheld truth.’ How could he not have told her at some point that he knew everything about her, her life, and her ex-husband? She wouldn’t have compromised his job.

He’d said other people had been speculating about her affiliations with Johnny. Nick had to learn to trust her when he met her. Is that why he hadn’t confided in her, or was it like he said and with his job he’d have to withhold information? Her head hurt just thinking about it, and her heart wouldn’t stop hurting.

A package arrived for her after dinner on Monday. She didn’t have time to look at it. Setting it to the side, she got through the busy evening. After she tucked all her little ones in with prayers and songs, she remembered the package and walked down to the kitchen to retrieve it.

She could swear there was a noise outside. Pausing, she looked around. Aiden Porter’s men had come last Saturday and installed all kinds of security cameras, sensors, and other stuff. One of them told her Aiden would always have someone nearby monitoring the cameras and they’d come quick if she needed any help.

She’d thanked him, and she hadn’t asked about Nick. She was impressed with her own strength.

Now she eased to the window but saw nothing out on the lit driveway. Checking the alarm panel and the tablet with the camera’s footage they’d left for her, she could see all was in order. She carried her package up the stairs and into her room. Shutting the door, she opened the plain brown wrapping.

She gasped when she saw the white dress with red and turquoise lace. Her dress from Cozumel.

A typed note was laid on top of the carefully folded dress.

Darcy,

My top security specialist is decidedly out of sorts. He’s given his heart to a charitable beauty who he fears will never forgive, trust, and love him.

I told this fine, upstanding, trustworthy young man that a brilliant and impressive lady such as yourself would have to recognize that he withheld information from you initially because he didn’t know where your loyalties lay. As he fell in love with you, he knew he had to finish the job with your ex before you could truly be together. He didn’t want to endanger you or risk international security by sharing secrets that weren’t his to share.

When he stood up to me, his revered boss and hero, staking his own life and job on your innocence and proclaiming his love for you, I knew you must be a singularly impressive and special lady.

I pray you can forgive this extraordinary former lieutenant, trust that he would never hurt you and only wants to love you, and find it in your heart to show him how much you love him in return.

If you do love him and want to give him a chance, please close your blinds and put the dress on, and then open your blinds.