Page 28 of Never Say Never

My stomach tightened as I broke the sim card and slipped it into my pocket. I was back out and headed to meet everyone with time to spare. Now that my brothers were taken care of, I could fully become Paul. We'd bust some bad guys so that everyone could sleep better at night.

I waited anxiously for Paul to show up. Our raid a few nights ago had gone to shit, and ever since then, I had been tense. No, that was a lie. Before the crap hit the fan and our two biggest suspects never showed up, I had been tense.

Paul's demeanor had completely changed after I took him aside and warned him to calm down at work. One minute he had been his normal, jovial self, and the next his face had fallen and twisted into a professional mask. It was almost alarming how quickly he changed before my eyes.

So what am I doing here now?

I had no idea. Maybe I felt bad about that day. We had barely spoken since then, but it wasn't as if it was my fault. I had to tell him to calm down or someone was going to figure out that we were fooling around. That could put both of our jobs in jeopardy and I knew neither of us wanted that.

"Yo."

I turned around, knocking over a glass container of sugar that had been on the counter. The sound of laughter, the smell of coffee, and the warmth of the cafe disappeared as I zoned in on Paul. He had one hand in his pocket, the other clutched around a cup of coffee that he had just purchased. I was already doctoring mine up, but now I'd made a mess.

"Paul," I said. "You snuck up on me."

"Sorry. Bad habits," he said as he moved forward and cleaned up the spilled sugar. "I didn't think you startled so easily."

"I normally don't," I said. "I guess I was in my own head."

"Hmm."

My stomach clenched as I watched him tidy up the area that I had messed up. The usual grin was missing from his lips. It was odd.

I didn't like it.

"Something the matter?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said as he tossed away a napkin and took me in. "Do you want to stay here or go for a walk?"

My stomach twisted. Why did the way he say it feel like we were about to break up? I knew we weren't together, I was well aware, but I couldn't help the way my gut dropped and my palms started to sweat. I discreetly wiped them off on my jeans.

"A walk is fine."

"Let's go this way. I know a quiet spot."

I trailed after Paul, my eyes fixed on him as I tried to figure out what was going on. We spilled out onto the street, the noise of cars and talking filtering in again as I followed him. We turned a corner and approached a small park down the road, a patch of green in the otherwise concrete jungle that was New York.

I stopped short. We hadn’t said two words to each other on the walk. After a moment, Paul turned and raised a brow at me.

"What is this? If you didn't want to see me today, why did you respond to my text?"

Paul turned to fully face me. "I don't know. I guess I don't want to cross any lines."

That hit me right in the chest. So, he was upset by the fact I told him to knock it off at work. I wasn't trying to be rude to him, but the truth was that he was playing with fire by flirting so hard in a place where people made it their life's mission to observe everyone around them. We didn't need to spell it out in black and white when we were in a room full of agents. It was better to be safe than sorry.

"Paul, I didn't mean any offense. My career is important to me, it always has been," I said as I walked over to him and we kept up speed together this time. "I've been working my ass off to get here since I was a teenager. This is all I want to do. It's all I know. Besides, I have daughters. If I lose my position, they would be in jeopardy, and I can't have my baby girls out on the streets."

He gazed at me from the corner of his eye. "I can understand that." He was quiet for a minute until we walked into the park. "You've wanted to be an agent since you were a teenager? Why?"

I shrugged. "My father was an FBI man, and I respected the hell out of him. I knew by the time I was twelve that's what I wanted to do too. He was diagnosed with Lupus when I was in high school, and I threw my all into showing him that I would make him proud. That's why I never had time for..."

"Fooling around?" Paul asked.

"Yeah," I answered as I blew out a breath. "Everyone else was living their life, but I was trying to make sure he was fulfilled before it was his time. And I did it. I had graduated, joined the FBI, married, and had two adorable daughters for five years before he passed on. I'm glad I was able to give him a life as a grandfather and father-in-law, at least for a little while."

"Sorry," Paul said quietly. "That sounds rough."

"It was."