Page 62 of Never Say Never

"Sit down."

"Yeah, Daddy, we don't want you to be hurt. We'll sit with you," Navy said.

"I can go grab the checkerboard," Nyra offered.

"You two were swimming, I'm fine," York said.

Fine? He was sweating and the little grimaces he was letting slip said he was anything but fine.

The girls looked at one another. Their teeth were already chittering from being outside the pool. They didn't wait to hear anymore, making a quick escape back to the heat of the water.

York sighed, his shoulders dropping. I knew I'd won the moment he did so. It was pure instinct. I leaned over and gave him a quick peck.

"Good, let me handle the rest."

"I'll get you a shirt."

I glared at my boss. What part of sit down didn't he understand? "Stop doing shit already."

The girls splashed around in the pool while I turned the meat on the grill. York watched them, doing his best to relax in one of the chairs. His foot tapped uncontrollably but he didn't try anything. I relaxed more, whistling as I flipped a burger.

"Aren't you cold?"

"The fire is keeping me warm."

York watched me from the corner of his eyes. I didn't pressure him to talk. What was the point? He'd have to tell me what was on his mind sooner or later.

"Who taught you how to grill?"

"My mom," I answered honestly. There wasn't a moment in my childhood when my dad had been anything like a normal father. Caesar was present most in our house but it was mostly to stay close to our mom. She'd been one of his favorites, but he never did the family thing. Not really.

"What was she like?"

"Who?" I took the burgers off and checked the chicken wings.

"Your mom."

I hadn't had anyone ask about her in a long time. I didn't even get to go see her before she died. That regret was the one that consistently weighed on my shoulders. She had neither of her sons there at her side before she died. Gin was locked away and I'd been half way across the country at a different FBI agency. It took a long time to work my way to New York, and by then, my mother was long gone.

"She was an incredible woman. You know how some people can do anything and be great at it?" Thinking about my mother always filled me with sadness and joy. "Sing, act, build, dance, cook, clean, sew. You name it, she could master it over the weekend." I laughed thinking of one of the many times my mom was there for me. "Once, I had this play, but I wasn't a great actor so as the understudy, I'd slacked off. I didn't know a single line. The night of the play, the main actor broke his leg and had to be rushed to the hospital. All of sudden I was out on stage in front of a room full of people." I took off the next set of meat. "You can't imagine how embarrassed and terrified I was. I ran off the stage and straight to her."

York sat up in his chair. "You? Run?"

I laughed. "I wasn't as outgoing back then. I was, like, eight."

"Hard to believe."

I flipped him off. "Anyway, she turned me around and marched my ass right back on stage. I was a nervous wreck but instead of abandoning me, she started saying my lines. She'd maybe heard me recite them five times over the course of four months. At some point, she'd made sure to learn every single one of them. I stood at her side doing what I could but the star of the show was her. Even so, she told me no matter what she'd be there to help me through it even when she wasn't physically there."

My eyes burned and I looked away for a second blinking away the pain. Stupid contacts were sensitive to the smoke coming from the grill. I was so wrapped up in my own head, I hadn't heard York get up. His hand rested on my shoulder. It was a comforting weight that I didn't know I needed.

"Sorry for your loss. I bet she was a wonderful woman. I would have loved to have met her."

I nodded, not able to swallow past the ball of emotion that seemed to clog my throat. I hadn't told anyone the truth involving my mom. York was the only one in all my years undercover.

"Thanks." I shook off the feeling of vulnerability. "I saved most of the food but a few of these are harder than a hockey puck."

York rolled his eyes. "Those are your fault."