Page 87 of Never Say Never

I wanted to laugh in his face. Big, bold man, so sure with a gun in his hand. Maybe I was losing my mind, because I wanted to close the space between us and stab him, to erase his miserable existence from this Earth.

"No one gets to decide what happens to York and my girls," Paul said tightly. "This is the first and only time I'm going to say this."

Benito shook his head, lowering his gun. "If he keeps threatening my family, we'll have a problem."

"I get it."

He left, slamming the door after him. Paul turned, walked into the kitchen, and ashed into the sink. He put out the cigarette before he wet his hands and wiped them over his face and hair. When he straightened up to look at me, I stared at him.

York and my girls.

At one point, that would have meant the world to me, that he loved them just as much as he cared for me. Now, it felt like the knife in my hand had been rammed into my chest. I felt the tears before they started and turned on my heels. I wanted to check on the girls, but I had to collect myself first. As I closed myself into a bathroom, I sucked in a deep breath. I had to be strong for them, to show them a calm face through all of this.

As pain laced through my body, I stared at myself in the mirror. Who would choose to fall in love?

I never wanted to hear that word again.

Sleep never came. I spent the rest of the night installing cameras around the place to keep an eye on the girls and York. Every little sound put me on edge. I knew how safe Benito's place was, but it didn't erase the fear that trickled down my spine. I hadn't felt it in a while, but getting involved with York had reawakened that side of me.

I had something to lose.

I sat in my room on the still-made bed trying, and failing, to think of a way to talk to York. There was so much more I needed to explain to him. Things started off as me trying to find out the mole and get close to him but there was more to it. My interest in him was genuine. No one ordered me to do it. I sought him out because I couldn't help myself. There was a draw to York that I couldn't ignore, no matter how many times I told myself the reasons why I should stay away.

Movement outside my door was faint; two distinct pairs of footsteps padded down the hall, stopping between mine and York's room. I didn't have to open the door to know who stood outside in the hallway.

"Is Daddy in that room?" Navy whispered.

"We should go back. Shelly said we shouldn't go out by ourselves," Nyra whispered back.

I was up and at my door in seconds. My hand rested on the knob as I contemplated what to do. Remembering the way the girls stared at me yesterday hurt my heart. I never thought I'd care what some kids thought of me, but there was fear in their beautiful brown eyes that I never wanted aimed my way again.

"But I want to see Daddy and so do you," Navy argued.

"But she said Paul isn't good."

My heart stopped at that implication. I wasn't, but I was for them. I'd never hurt them. Ever.

"Yeah, but..." Navy's voice died off.

I opened my door just as York opened his. Our eyes met, locking for what felt like an eternity and only a millisecond at the same time.

"Daddy," Nyra said as she rushed into York's arms.

Navy looked back at me. She looked skeptical, and I was certain she had a lot of questions. I wasn't so sure I had the right answers.

"Girls, what are you doing up so early?" York asked. He stared down at them, no longer looking my way. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were wrinkled as if he'd stayed up all night too.

"We wanted to be with you," Navy answered while her sister buried her face in the crook of York's neck. "Paul, are you a bad guy?"

The question took me by surprise. The fact that Navy had said something at all was shocking. I could tell she wanted a specific answer, one that would make her smile at me again. It would be too easy to give it to her. To lie. She was a child anyway, she didn't need to be involved in adult affairs, but as I got ready to tell her the lie she craved, I fell short.

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. The reply stayed in my mouth as my brain refused to give me an answer.

"Girls, why don't you go back to the room with Shelly," York offered.

Nyra shook her head and Navy turned to him with her lower lip wavering. "But, Dad..."

"How about breakfast," I offered. "If it's okay with you."