Page 66 of Wrapped in Hope
I look her up and down, annoyance and anger filling me. “Because, in your twisted little head, you think we’re betraying Dean. But Dean is gone. He can’t be betrayed.”
Her gasp fills my ears before she reaches out and slaps me across the face. The slap stings, but I’m so angry that I can’t feel the full force of it.
I cover my cheek with my hand. “Are you really mad about me and Holden being together or are you just mad that I’m moving on with my life while you’re still holding on to someone that died five years ago?”
Her eyes begin to tear, and I don’t know why, but I feel bad for her. She’s been through so much. She lost her son, she sank so far into depression that she attempted to take her own life, and as if all that wasn’t enough, she lost her husband who just so happens to be screwing the same woman her son used to.
“I hope you find what you’re seeking in life, Jane.” I turn and walk away from her.
I didn’t want to hurt her any more than I wanted to hurt my parents. But I’ve been sad, depressed, and angry for the past five years. It’s time I get my happy ending with the man I love.
I take a little longer than necessary to walk to Holden’s apartment, but I needed a few minutes to process everything. It kills me that I left my parents like that, but I’m going to fight for the man I love. It may not be right, we may not make sense to the outside world, but only we can feel the love we have for one another.
I can only hope that they come around and realize that I’m happy, that Holden makes me happy. Isn’t that all parents should want for their child?
As I wander through town lost in my thoughts, I can’t help but to think of Holden and Dean. Back then, I thought Dean was it for me. I thought I would be completely happy spending the rest of my life with him. It’s only now that I see what Dean and I had is nothing compared to what I have with Holden.
Dean was a large part of my life. I will always love him in one way or another, but what I felt for him, it was just infatuation, an addiction from him always being around — puppy love, if you must.
Holden, he wasn’t planned. Fate put us together. What I feel for him is something that can’t be explained. Just thoughts of him warm every cold place inside of me. He lights up every dark corner. He causes every hair to stand on end. He makes my head swim. And that’s with only a look. If he touches me, my body feels as though it’s been lit on fire. I can’t stay away from him because I didn’t choose to love him. It’s like my heart is synced to his. I’ll never feel whole without him. What Holden and I have is real. I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, deep in my bones.
I walk around town for a good hour before I finally go to Holden. I remember the passcode to get into his building, but stop and knock on his door. Within seconds, the door is swinging open and I’m against his chest with his fingers tangling in my hair and his lips against mine.
He picks me up and walks us inside. He kicks the door shut and places me on my feet before breaking the kiss. “I didn’t think you’d come back.”
His lips are on mine as soon as the words leave his mouth, teasing, tasting, and giving. He’s all I can think about as he teases every sense.