Page 48 of Of Course, Cutie
I nodded. “I understand. But if we’d been honest and open about it from the beginning, do you think her family would have accepted it?”
Sienna sighed. “No.”
“I’m not making excuses, you know that, don’t you? I was wrong, and I’ll back off. I just want someone to understand why we did what we did.”
Sienna nodded. “I’m no stranger to secrets and mistakes, Burke, and I hardly have any room to talk right now. Evan and I both screwed up in so many ways.” She laughed and shook her head. “Honestly, I think we have Charlie to thank for ever getting our mess figured out. She was wiser than both of us put together.”
I gave Sienna a half-smile and nodded. “She’s not a kid.”
Sienna groaned and covered her face with both hands again. “Okay, Burke, I’ll call around and find you another job with one of our competitors. You um, you cool things off with Charlie and give me a chance to do some damage control.”
I nodded and stepped out from behind the bar. “I’ll lay low.” I couldn’t stand to picture the conversation I’d have to have with Charlie. It would break her little heart, but I had to do it. She couldn’t blow up all of her family relationships for me. I wouldn’t let her, and I wouldn’t wait around for Sienna to fix my mess either. I screwed up, and I needed to pay for that. If it meant losing Charlie, I’d suck it up and deal with it.
I gave Sienna a final nod and pushed open the front door of ’69. The frigid air hit my face, and it felt like I was back in Alaska, being reminded that life was full of painful disappointment.
23
Burke
The next morning, I had six missed calls from Charlie and nine text messages.
Burke, what happened?
What’s going on? Talk to me! I’m freaking out!
Where are you??? Please answer your phone!
Sienna said you quit and that she found you a job at another bar, but she won’t tell me where.
Are you home??
Burke, please! Where are you?
ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE!!!!
Burke, don’t do this. You’re breaking my fucking heart.
Please.
After a full thirty-six hours, I knew I needed to call her. I couldn’t do her wrong like this. Charlie deserved better. I picked up my phone and swallowed the lump in my throat. “Burke!” she sobbed into the phone the second she answered. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
My heart constricted in my chest. “I’m sorry, cutie. I needed some time to think.”
“To think?” Her voice shook. “About what?”
I let out a deep breath and stared up at my ceiling. “About what we’ve been doing and how we can’t keep doing it.”
“Oh fuck no!” Charlie yelled into the phone. “If you’re breaking up with me, you’re going to do it to my face!” Then she hung up on me.
I smiled and shook my head. Of course my cutie wasn’t going to take my shit. That was one of the reasons I loved her so damn much. But now I had to say it to her face and watch the pain fill those perfect blue eyes.
She’d survive, though. Charlie was strong.
I texted her the address of a park and asked her to meet me there in twenty minutes. It would be cold out, but I was sure I wouldn’t be welcome at her mother’s house, and I wasn’t about to ask her to come to my apartment. There were too many memories there, and if she walked through the door, I would selfishly fuck her and never let her go.
But I had to let her go because she deserved so much better than me and the mess I created for her.
I arrived at the park first. It was a cold, gray February afternoon that reminded me of the oil rigs. As I waited for Charlie to show up, that old familiar feeling like I would never get warm again seeped into my bones. Then her car pulled up, and she yanked open the door, marching toward me. She set my bones ablaze.