Page 49 of Of Course, Cutie

“You’re being an ass!” Charlie headed right for me, and I thought maybe she was going to slap me. I hoped she didn’t hit as hard as her brother. Instead, she flung her arms around my neck.

“Charlie,” I sighed and wrapped my arms around her waist. “How’s your family?”

She pulled away and stared at the ground. “Hell’s going to have to freeze over before I speak to Evan again.” Charlie played with the fringe on her scarf and glanced back up at me. “My mom and sister know something’s wrong, but I haven’t told them what happened yet. I think Sienna’s keeping Evan on his leash because he hasn’t said anything to them.”

I swallowed and nodded. “They aren’t going to take it well, Charlie, and I don’t blame them. I’m almost twice your age, and I knew better.” I looked away and ran my hands through my beard. “I should have stayed the hell away from you. I didn’t, but I’m going to start now. I won’t hurt you anymore.”

“You don’t have to do this, Burke. You think you’re like saving me from you or some dumb shit like that, but you’re not! I want you.” Charlie bit her lip to stop the trembling. “I need you!”

I pulled her into my arms. I couldn’t stop myself. “Charlie, I have to do this. Maybe you don’t see it now, but it’s for the best.”

“Stop!” She shoved away from me, fury dancing in her eyes. “You act like this big, strong badass, but you’re afraid! You’re scared of letting someone get close to you! And you’re fucking afraid of what other people think, so you’re going to ruin this!”

“Charlie!” I groaned and covered my face with both hands, aching to pull her back into my arms and kiss her angry mouth. “You know we can’t be together! We hid shit from your family, and they are never going to be okay with this. I’m going to be a wedge, and you all need each other right now.”

Charlie shook her head, glaring at me. “They’ll get over it, Burke. They’ll forgive us, but if you fucking walk away from me right now, I won’t forgive you.”

I closed my eyes against the tears that hovered behind them. I’d only cried twice in my adult life—the day Tess was born and the day I accepted defeat and let my marriage end. I pushed the tears back and opened my eyes. “Charlie, I’m so damn sorry. I never should have touched you in the first place. I took things from you that were never mine to take, and I wish like hell I could turn back the clock and never hurt you.”

Charlie blinked those blue, soulful eyes at me and shook her head. “I don’t believe this.” She folded her arms and took a few steps backward, putting more cold distance between us. “You didn’t take anything, asshole. I gave it to you.”

I stared down at the dirty snow that lined the sidewalk. I couldn’t meet her piercing gaze. “I’m sorry, cutie.”

Charlie scoffed. “Don’t cutie me. Hey!” She snapped her fingers. “Fucking look me in the eye while you’re ripping my heart out! Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t want to make this work. Look me in the eye and tell me it’s over, Burke!”

It was the last thing on earth that I wanted to do, but it would be better for her. She needed her family more than she needed me. I lifted my eyes and let them settle on her perfect face. “It’s over, Charlie.”

I watched the light leave her gorgeous eyes. She nodded and turned to walk away. When she let out a sob, I forced myself to stay put. It would do no good to chase after her and pull her into my arms. If I did that, I would take it all back and beg her to love me as much as I loved her. I would promise her my life and the fucking moon just to see that pretty smile.

But that pretty smile wasn’t mine anymore.

Right before she got into her car, Charlie called out to me, “Tell Tess I’m sorry. Tell her I’ll miss her every day and that she’s right. Pink is better than purple. And she’s keeping the teddy bear and the Christmas ornament. Don’t you dare fucking try to give those back to me. They’re for her. They’re not yours to shove back in my face!” Tears streamed down her cheeks, and her face twisted up in agony. Charlie let out one more sob and then climbed into her car, slamming the door.

After she drove away, I let a tear fall for the third time in my adult life. Losing Charlie was something to cry over.

24

Charlie

When I came down the stairs twelve hours after Burke ripped my heart to shreds, Bea gaped at me. “Charlie, are you serious? It was Evan’s bartender the whole time?”

“God, Bea. Not now!” I didn’t need this bullshit from her. I stormed past her into the kitchen. I wasn’t hungry. I honestly felt like I never wanted to eat again, but I was thirsty from all the damn tears. I filled a glass with water and downed it in one long gulp.

Bea stood on the other side of the island, watching me like a deer in headlights. “Charlie-girl, he was way too old for you! Evan says he’s thirty-five! And you were having sex with him!”

“Fuck, Bea!” I yelled. “I said not now! My heart is fucking broken! Give me a god-damn break!” I slammed my glass down on the counter so hard that it cracked and broke. The broken glass sliced into my skin, and red bloomed and dripped from my palm.

Bea gasped and frantically grabbed a handful of paper towels and rushed me. “Charlie-girl. Oh my god, honey!” She gripped my hand in the paper towels as another round of sobs washed over me. “I’m sorry. I won’t say another word. Let me see if you need stitches.” She peeled back the blood-soaked paper towel and winced. “Let’s rinse it so I can see how deep it is.”

I yanked my hand from her grasp. “I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m not a child!” I rinsed my wound and bandaged it myself while Bea watched with wide eyes. Next, I scooped the broken glass into the trash and snapped at my sister, “See? I’m a big girl who can clean up my own damn messes.” Then I headed for the stairs, ready to let myself drown in my heartbreak for another twelve hours.

The front door flew open before I could escape, and my stupid brother stood there. “Charlie,” he began.

“Don’t. Say. A. Word.”

???

A week later, Matteo forced me to come to his Valentine’s Day party.