Page 52 of Of Course, Cutie
Four weeks of hell.
That was how long it had been since I’d heard Burke’s voice, seen his green eyes, felt his touch. I thought surviving my father’s death made me tough. I thought if I could go on living after losing him, then I was made of steel, and nothing could hurt me.
Unbreakable Charlie Cox.
And then Burke shattered me—just blew through me without even trying.
But it felt good to let myself be broken like Matteo had suggested. It felt strangely therapeutic to see all of my jagged pieces strewn out on the floor, with no desire to clean them up. I was allowed this time, and who the fuck cared how long it took? I’d pull my shit together when I was ready, and I’d do it whether Burke ever spoke to me again or not.
There was a knock on my bedroom door, and my mom called out, “Charlie, honey, can I come in?”
“Knock yourself out.” I curled up on my side, not looking up when she entered and sat next to me on my bed. She wrapped her arms around me and took the big spoon position. My heart lurched when I remembered the hours and hours we spent in this exact way right after dad was gone.
“Charlotte, my sweet, smart girl.” My mom rubbed my shoulder. “Did I ever tell you how much grandma and grandpa hated your dad at first?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I’ve heard the story. They didn’t like his motorcycle or vocabulary.”
“Right. Did I tell you that we broke up three different times over it?”
I turned to meet her knowing gaze. “No.”
“Charlie, baby, even the most hopeless situations can have a happy ending with a little understanding and patience. True love works itself out.”
I scoffed and turned away from her. “It wasn’t true love, at least not for Burke.”
My mother pressed a soft kiss to my temple. “You don’t know that.”
“Yes, I do.”
We heard the front door open, and Evan called out, “Anyone home?” I stiffened and squared my jaw. My dumbass brother could go to hell. I heard his footsteps on the stairs and refused to look at him when I heard him say, “Hey, Charlie. How’s it going?”
When I stayed silent, he groaned. “How long are you going to give me the silent treatment, kid? We can’t keep living like this.”
My mother kissed me one more time and stood to greet Evan. “Hey, son. Did Sienna get her dress fitting scheduled?”
“Uh, yeah. It’s on Saturday at 1 pm.”
“Perfect. I’ll be there.”
“Thanks. That will mean a lot to her since her mom won’t be up until the wedding day.”
“Of course. I’m going to let you kids talk now.” I heard my mother’s footsteps carry her back down the stairs, and Evan let out a long slow breath. I still didn’t turn to look at him.
“Charlie?” he pleaded.
“Go fuck yourself, Evan.”
My brother groaned and sat on the edge of my bed. “Charlie, I’m sorry, okay? I’m looking out for you! I want what’s best for you! I want to do what dad—“
“Will you shut the hell up?” I sat up suddenly, furiously wiping away the traitorous tears that slipped out. “I don’t fucking need you to be my father, Evan! I had one of those! And he sure as hell wouldn’t have punched my boyfriend in the face!” I slid off my bed and folded my arms. “Leave.”
Evan ran his hands through his hair. “Charlie, please. I’m sorry.” He stayed put, even though I’d just ordered him to leave. “Sienna says you guys love each other and that I overreacted.”
I rolled my eyes. “I thought we did, but we don’t. If he loved me, he wouldn’t have let everything go like it was nothing.”
Evan stared me down. “Or, he loves you enough to let you go because he didn’t want to stand between you and your family.”
I felt my heart constrict and shook my head. That was what Burke said on that shitty day in the park. He didn’t want to be a wedge between my family and me, but that didn’t mean he loved me. “Don’t say that. It’s bullshit. Burke doesn’t love me.”