Page 73 of Brutal Secrets
A bedroom?
Yeah, all my friends who’ve got divorced parents have their own rooms.
We’re not divorced.
Ok, so you can come and stay with us? Mama won’t let me do anything. I need help.
I’ll think about it.
Chapter Forty-Five
We’ve been back for two days, but New York has never felt less like home. Even though Dex has a huge team in place, I’m on edge. My so-called best friend isn’t helping either.
Stevie paces our living room, circling a coffee table stacked with books that an interior designer thought would look good, but which none of us have ever looked at. He picks up one of the guitars lying on a stand in the corner and puts it back. I guess he’s not here to work on a song with me today.
We’ve spent many hours sitting here, working out songs together and viewing Central Park as the light floods through the windows. He’s always been the person I bounce lyrics and melodies off, but if we aren’t working, I don’t need him here.
I pick up my phone and run through the latest encrypted message from Dex outlining our security arrangements for the day. So much sits on my shoulders, and the stakes have never been higher.
“Will you sit down, Stevie? You’re going to wear tracks in the carpet.”
He stops, spins the leather bands that circle his wrists, and pulls on his hair. “You don’t have to fight this in the courts, you know. Maybe you can make another album with Jimmy and get this over with. You won’t have to go into the studio alone. You know I’ve got your back.”
I sink into the white cushions, pulling at my cashmere wrap. “I do know that, but it just turns my stomach that I have to deal with Jimmy at all. I was so young when I signed to his label, and I didn’t know better.” I shake my hands out as if I can rip away the crawling feeling talking about Jimmy gives me. “Nothing about this is fair. Him saying he doesn’t have a public profile so he needs a lower burden of proof for defamation, and then dragging my name through the mud.” I bang my hand against the stack of books on the table. “I’m fighting back.”
“Are you sure you want to do this? We both know you’ll be the one on trial.”
Stevie plops onto the couch opposite me. His skinny legs spread in a power pose in his drainpipe jeans. I can’t help comparing him to Vadim in my mind. He looks like half the man.
“Have you heard from Nadia’s dad?” Stevie asks, reading my thoughts with uncanny accuracy.
“No. Dex let him know we were back in town, but the scene at the Gingerbread House was ugly. I think he’s keeping a low profile.” I shrug as if I’m not bothered. As if I’m not replaying the way he touched me when we were together. He makes me feel alive, even when I know he’s bad for me.
“You don’t want to be arranging shared custody if there’s going to be a shoot-out.” Stevie chuckles as if it’s all a big joke.
“I agree the timing is bad, but it would be good if Nadia could form some sort of relationship with him. She’s been talking about going to live with him.”
Stevie’s eyes widen, and he looks at me, aghast. “You can’t be serious.”
“Well, I’m not serious about it, but it’s hard to stop her from fantasizing about him.” I don’t add that she’s not the only one. “He’s Nadia’s father.”
“He’s a thug.”
“You don’t know what’s between us,” I bite out.
“And what is between you? Nothing. This guy turns up, you go on the run for a week, and now you can’t even walk Nadia to school. How is anything about this good?”
I think back to the morning in the motel. Vadim kneeling before me, his lips on my stomach. Gazing into his eyes as he moved inside me.
“My god, Sera. Please tell me you didn’t let that man anywhere near you.”
“What business is it of yours?” I snap. I stand and walk to the window, looking down at the trees below. I don’t want to confront questions I don’t have the answers to.
“It’s every bit of my business. I’m your best friend.”
“Then you should be happy I’ve found him.” I spin to face him. He might think he’s questioning Vadim, but really, he’s doubting me. My judgement. My choices.
“My god, how naïve are you?”