Page 74 of Brutal Secrets

Anger flares like a bright flame. Something about those moments with Vadim—being cherished as a woman and respected as a parent—has made me feel braver. “I’m a grown woman with a kid. I’ve survived in this business for a decade while surrounded by wolves and predators like Jimmy. Don’t talk down to me.”

“Is that why you won’t settle the case out of court? Because this Russian criminal is back in your life?” His lips curl into a sneer. “Why aren’t you just dropping this lawsuit? You got enough material from the last album to do another tour. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

I rear back as if he’s slapped me. “You don’t?”

My voice sounds unnaturally loud to my own ears, but Stevie just glares at me like nothing is amiss. His once boyish face is lined and gray from the hundreds of lines of coke he’s stuck up his nose, and the petulant set of his mouth makes me wonder where the sweet kid I met at open mic night all those years ago has gone.

My eyes narrow into slits. “I had to walk back into the studio and work with a man who raped me because I have a family to support. I haven’t been wasting my earnings on models and blow.”

“Oh, and you’re saying I have?” My friend jabs his finger at me, his mouth curling into a snarl.

“Well, what are you doing with your life, Stevie?”

Stevie jumps up and throws his hands in the air. “Waiting for you to see how I feel. To see that I love you.”

I look at him and think back to times he’s used my fame to hook up with younger women. How can he possibly call what he’s been doing waiting for me? And now, he’s pressuring me to work with a man I hate.

The silence stretches between us before he sinks to the sofa, resting his forearms on his knees and burying his head in his hands. Walking over to him, I rest a hand on his trembling shoulder as he stares at the floor.

“You were supposed to be with me,” he mumbles. “You were supposed to love me back.”

I look down at him. At this guy who’s helped me write my songs, who I’ve played video games with on a tour bus, who has walked beside me for the last ten years, but who still relies on me to earn his money. A wave of sadness washes over me.

I love Stevie, but he will never be my equal. He’s never once made me feel cherished the way Vadim did.

“I’m sorry, Stevie. But I’m going back to court.” I pause, and he looks up at me through his fingers. “And I’m going to find another bassist for the next album.”

Stevie jumps to his feet. “You’re making a mistake, Sera. That man will never make you happy.”

I watch his retreating back as he stamps out of the room like a little boy having a tantrum, but I won’t chase him or change my mind. This time, I’m fighting to win.

Chapter Forty-Six

We’re back. When can I see you?

This is not a good time.

I’m back at school, but mama’s busy with the lawyers or she’s in the studio. I should have at least one parent around.

And you think that parent should be me?

When can I come to your house to stay?

Soon kiddo. When it’s safe.

Chapter Forty-Seven

Isit on my bed and pick up the burner phone, looking at it like it’s a burning coal in my hands. Hold on to it too long and it’s going to hurt me. Gingerly, I dial the only saved number, and Vadim’s deep voice echoes down the line.

“Dex. Is something wrong?’

“It’s not Dex. It’s Kesera.”

“Zolotaya. How did you get this phone?”

My stomach hollows out at his response. “Dex has set up our security plans, and we’re back. I borrowed his phone so that I could check in and see what your plans are for seeing Nadia.”

I can almost taste all the unsaid words crowding on my tongue as I bite them back to stop myself from begging to see him.