Page 75 of Brutal Secrets
“I don’t have any plans to see her, zolotaya.” A door slams in the background. “Give me a minute and I’ll find somewhere where I can hear you.” His footsteps echo, then stop. “That’s better. I’ve been thinking about you, but...”
Men’s voices come through the phone as distant mumbles, and there’s a long pause as unspoken words hang in the air.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“I’ve been better.” He sighs deeply, and I’m filled with the sharp urge to comfort him, but I push it down. “It’s not a good time. I care about you both, but I can’t see her. Or you.”
I swallow down a surge of frustration. Why does every man in my life say that he cares about me, then fail to back his words with actions? Part of me wants to scream at him to step up for me now that he’s found us. But the rational side wins.
I sink against the cushions in the wide, empty bed, feeling so damn lonely as I tell myself it’s for the best. “It’s okay, Vadim. I understand.”
“You do?” He sounds surprised, and his voice is lighter.
“Honestly?” I laugh, despite myself. “I don’t feel like I understand anything. This is all moving too fast for me, but I’m trying my best to do what’s right for Nadia.”
I don’t say there was a little part of me that called him just for myself.
There’s a silence, and then his voice sounds softer as he adds, “Me too. I know she wants to see me. She’s been texting me.”
His admission gives me a jolt, and I suck in a breath. What’s she been saying? How can I stop her? I’m torn between jealousy that she’s in touch with him and fear for her safety. My daughter’s growing up and away from me, and the stakes have never been higher.
I get up and walk to the door, padding down the corridor toward her empty bedroom.
“Zolotaya, you still there?” Vadim’s voice sounds strained.
“Yeah,” I breathe, standing in the door to my little girl’s room as I look at the stuffed toys and dolls she’s about to grow out of. How will I keep her safe?
“It’s pretty natural,” he says. “I used to fantasize about my dad coming to the orphanage to pick me up and take me away to a better life. I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep.”
“She misses you.” I lean against the door frame and wish this was the kind of relationship where I could tell him I miss him too.
“I know. She’s welcome to call and text, and I’ll answer when I can.” There’s a pause, and the men’s voices grow louder.
“Let me know through Dex if it’s possible for her to see you. It would mean a lot to her. I’ll leave the phone with him while he’s in the city with us. If that’s what you’d prefer.”
Instead of answering my unasked question, he changes tack abruptly.”What’s happening with that slimy fucker you’re suing? When are you back in court?”
“The hearing is set for July. I have more hope of a victory now, but Jimmy’s pretty vindictive. I’ll be dragged through the press. I don’t want Nadia involved, but it’s hard to see how I’ll keep her out of the story when the whole case revolves around whether I’m a good person, not whether he attacked me.”
“My god, you don’t deserve this, and he?—”
“Well, you saw it all in Moscow.”
“How many times do I have to warn him to back off? Why can’t he just take a hint? Men like him really piss me off.”
“What?” I spit the word out in shock. A dizzying wave rushes through my legs. How long has Vadim been hovering at the edges of my life? And how much does he know about Jimmy?
His chuckle breaks up my circling thoughts. “That’s why he walks with a limp now, but apparently, he didn’t get the message. Why is he so fixated on you?”
I’m silent for a moment as the implication slowly sinks in. Vadim never forgot me. But if he can fight for me, why can’t he love me? I don’t ask the question, though. I just answer him.
“Money, control. The chance to do this to more young women. I don’t know. I’m not the only one, but other stars see what’s happened to me and they don’t want to stick their heads over the parapet. He’s vindictive.”
“Zolotaya?”
“Yes?” I cradle the phone close to my ear, listening to his deep voice and missing him as I walk out of Nadia’s room and back to my own.
“You’re not alone.”