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“Give me more of your cum.” He jerks me forward and tilts my bottom half until my legs are a tangled mess in the air, my knees spread, and ass and pussy on display.
It’s vulgar and vulnerable and I’m so here for it.
Carson cups my ass cheeks and tips me up so he can lick my pussy again. While he wreaks havoc on my body, I try to figure out how the hell I got to this place.
God bless K!nkLink. I’m buying stock in that app.
He starts fingering me again, and this time it feels deeper. More aggressive. Holding my breath, I pay attention to every sensation running through my body—the tightness coiling in my belly, how the muscles in my calves flex, the way the hard, cold ground bites my back, the chill on my cheeks, the second finger he’s shoving into me, the way my heart pounds, the feeling of his teeth grazing my clit. The sensations stack up. Pressure builds.
“Oh shit, oh fuck, oh my—”
I come again, a million times harder this round. Heels against his back, I arch back and thrust upwards until my ass lifts out of his hands. I feel like I’m floating. Carson seals his mouth over my clit again and drags his hot tongue all over my pussy, as if gathering every drop of pleasure he’s just wrung out of me.
I’ve never felt so free in my life.
“That’s it.” Carson licks me again. “Give me all you fucking got.”
Pumping his fingers inside me harder and faster, I’m no longer able to see straight. Dots dance in my vision and I feel a little nauseous. It’s confusing and exhilarating, but I don’t like it. “Cupcake.”
Carson pulls away instantly and cushions my ass with his hands while I sink my bottom half back onto the ground. Then he untangles himself from my legs and sits back on his haunches to give me space. “Good girl,” he says with a smile.
I don’t feel good. I feel like I just ruined this whole thing. And now I don’t like being out here and I’m confused and need to leave. Tugging up my pants, my throat tightens, and it hurts to swallow.
“Talk to me, Mak.”
Carson’s not coming close to me, and I hate that too.
“I…” Tears spring from my eyes and I can’t understand my actions at all.
“I’ve got you,” he says, scooping me up. “You did so good, Mak. I’m so fucking proud of you.”
“But that doesn’t make sense,” I say as he carries me onto his deck and back into the house. The sliding glass door slams shut behind us and I feel guilty and don’t know why. “I just ruined the whole scene.”
“You didn’t ruin a damned thing, sweet vixen. You did exactly what you should have done.” He sets me on his couch and drops down in front of me. Rubbing his big palms over my thighs, his smile is warm and genuine. “You trusted me enough to play with you. You also used your safe word when you felt you should. Thank you.”
Why is he thanking me?
I swipe my tears away, feeling stupid for acting like this. “I feel like I should be the one to thank you. I’ve…” Emotions swarm me and none of them make sense. “I’ve never come like that in my life. I never felt so much at once before.”
Carson nods, like he gets what I’m saying. “Sometimes emotions can sneak up on you. Especially if you’re in a different head space.”
“Why am I crying like this? I feel confused and weird.” And foolish because holy crap, he’s never going to want to play with me again if I act like this. I’m a basket case.
“I think you’re dropping.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I’m going to get you some water and snacks, okay? I’ll be right back.”
I nod because what else am I supposed to do?
He shoots off to the kitchen and comes back less than a minute later with a bottle of water, a bag of chips, and some cookies. “Here,” he hands them over. “Let me just get you comfy first.” I take the snacks, and then he’s suddenly putting a blanket around my shoulders and another across my lap. “Better?”
His tone is soft and gentle, and I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve never dropped before. I don’t think I understand what a drop even is. It’s nothing like what I’ve experienced with other lovers.
“Yes. Thank you.” My stomach twists when he walks away to poke at the fire that’s died down. “Can you sit with me?”
“Absolutely.” Carson throws another log on the flames, then wipes his hands on his jeans before easing down on the couch next to me. “Want to watch TV?”
“No.” Maybe I should have said yes, but my answer flew out automatically and I really don’t want to watch anything. Dread settles in my belly. “Can you explain to me why I’m acting like this?”
“Your body has released a ton of endorphins and adrenaline. The endorphins make you feel euphoric while the adrenaline keeps your body going through the scene. When those things leave your system quickly, you drop. Sometimes the chemicals make you go from happy to sad and lonely. It’s different for everyone.”