Page 53 of Click
I still can’t breathe. “Hop up.” I gently tap her thigh and she does as I ask. My heart’s beating a mile a minute. What the hell’s the matter with me? Looking down at my body, sweat breaks out across my brow and down my back. My chest tightens.
“Are you okay?” Mak’s brows dig into a V.
“Yeah. I’m cool.” Heading to the sliding glass door, I lamely add, “I’m going to grab our clothes. Be right back.”
The sooner I can calm down, the better. Yanking the door open, cool air slaps my body from all angles and I take my time gathering all our clothes from the yard and woods. Jesus Christ, we ran all over the place back here. I’ve honestly never had someone initiate a chase before. My submissives have always waited for me to set the scene and go over the rules ahead of time.
Mak just came out of nowhere.
I fucking loved it. But now I’m paying for the consequences of my actions. If I don’t get a grasp of our dynamic and lay down better ground rules, one of us is going to have a problem. That one of us will be me.
Fuuuuuck. What am I doing? This behavior is so out of line for me. “Pull your shit together, dickhead. She’s learning the rules. It’s not her fault that you’re in over your head like this.”
Maybe I should go back to therapy.
Plucking her panties off the ground, I don’t dare hold them to my nose again, no matter how badly I want to. Smelling her makes me an animal. I’m not ready to get hard and fuck her again so soon. My heart’s still racing, and my head is all messed up.
After finding everything, I get my boxers back on and head back inside to find Mak’s no longer where I left her on the couch.
Wrapped in the blanket, she’s standing in front of my bookshelf again, holding a binder open. I know she heard me come in but doesn’t acknowledge me until I step up behind her.
“That’s an old portfolio,” I say, still holding her hoodie and panties. I have no clue where her pants and shoes are.
“You took all these?” She flips through the pages like they’re some kind of ancient, precious artifact she doesn’t want to mess up.
“Yeah.” I smile at the picture of a boy in a tuxedo, riding a bike. “That’s a friend of mine’s nephew.”
“He’s a cutie pie.”
Yeah, cute, but dangerous. Beetle is a daredevil. I love that kid.
Mak flips back a few pages. “Wow. She’s gorgeous.”
My heart clenches. “That’s my ex.” The words tumble out before I have the sense to stop them. “She was a sub of mine, I mean.” She’s also my biggest regret.
“Her boobs are amazing.” Mak stares at the picture of Lauren wearing a black leather outfit holding a cat o’ nine tails in her hands. I’d taken a series of photos for the BDSM community and kept this particular one as a sample of my talent. Lauren peers down at the camera—her audience—with a powerful stance and warm eyes. She looks like she could kill you and kiss you at the same time.
“How come it didn’t work out?”
Mak shared some of her hangups about her ex with me. It’s only fair I reciprocate, no matter how much I hate to do it. If I never speak of Lauren again, it’ll be too soon. I should have burned that damn picture long ago, instead of keeping it as a reminder of why it’s important to keep my heart in a cage. “She wanted more than I could give her.”
“Oh.” I expect her to ask more questions, but Mak only flips the page. “This is stunning.”
“That’s in Costa Rica.” The landscape shot is another favorite of mine. “The sun was setting just over the hilltop, and it made everything bleed in colors I’ve never seen since.”
Something buzzes from the couch, where our clothing is. Recognition of the hour and who’s likely calling dawns on me. “Shit.” I rush over and grab my cell. “Hey. Sorry. I’m not going to make it tonight.”
Mak turns to me and closes the binder.
“Okay, no problem,” Trey says. “If you change your mind, you know where to find us.”
“Yeah.” I hang up and guilt claws its way up my chest when I look at Mak. “Sorry about that.”
“No, no.” She slides the binder back on the shelf. “I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t realize you had plans, and I took over your night. I’ll leave.”
I step in her way, blocking her from the clothing on the couch. “I don’t want you to go.” Which is exactly why I should usher her right out my front door this minute. “I didn’t have plans. That was just some friends of mine seeing if I was going online tonight.”
She studies me for a moment and licks her lips. “Well, please don’t let me stop you, Carson.” Her tone is gentle and sweet. She’s not acting dejected, which makes this easier. Mak slips past me to grab her things. “I’ll call you later this week?”