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My eyes almost pop out of my head. “Really?” The image in my mind is… okay, it’s hot.
He narrows his gaze and jabs his fork at me. “Don’t get any ideas, Mak.”
“I would never!” Yes, I would. “What didn’t you like about it?”
“She was rough, and the pacing was all off. I’ve been with both men and women. I’ve been on the giving and receiving end, too. There’s an art to getting fucked in the ass. That woman was trying to insert dominance in a very unpleasant and painful way.”
Holy crap. “Was she your sub?”
“No. She was just someone I hooked up with. Her and her boyfriend wanted a third, and they picked me.” He shrugs like it was no big deal. “I’m down for anything once. That was my once for pegging.”
“You know…” I playfully run my hand along his tabletop. “I have experience with anal. I could spoon you and let you back that fine ass right up to my eagerly waiting strap on.” I waggle my brows at him.
Carson bursts out laughing. “I should have known that was coming.”
Some more of the tension dies down between us. I laugh, he laughs, and we settle back into comfortable silence. As I pick up our plates to bring to the sink, he stops me with his hand on my hips. Looking up at me from his chair, Carson’s brown eyes are warm and lighter than they were earlier. “Thanks, Mak.”
He’s not talking about me washing the dishes.
But I’m worried he won’t thank me for what I’m about to do.
Chapter 27
Carson
Mak has lured me up to my bedroom. She’s up to something and I can’t figure out what it is. When she asked me earlier if she could help me learn to love my body, I told her I’d think about it.
The truth is, it’s all I think about. Mak touches me more than any other woman I’ve been with, and ever since our first contact, I’ve wondered what it would be like to relinquish control and let her have freedom over my body.
I feel safe with her.
But I’ve felt safe before and it didn’t end well for me. I’m worried if I let my walls down again, I’ll get hurt.
“Do you trust me, Carson?”
Loaded. Fucking. Question.
“Yes.” So far.
And if whatever she’s about to do breaks that trust, this is over between us. I’m too fragile for her to take advantage of right now, and the only reason I’m willing to play along is out of sheer morbid curiosity.
And because I’m a glutton for punishment.
And because I’m falling head over heels for her, and I really do trust her. Mak’s seen the worst of me. The weak man under the façade of cut biceps, pecs, and ripped thighs.
She walks over to the wall of my toys and scans them as if she’s about to pick out a few to use. We haven’t negotiated terms for those things, but I’m willing to let her have fun with them if she wants. I’ll guide her, so neither of us gets hurt. I love that she’s adventurous. When I said I’ll try anything once, I meant it.
I think Mak’s very much the same way.
“Stand with the backs of your knees against the bed, Big Boy.”
Big Boy. Not once has that term sounded insulting when it comes from her lips.
“Yes, ma’am.”
Although I demand, and will assert, dominance in most situations, there have been a few occasions where I’ll hand the keys to my kingdom over to another. It’s been when I felt helpless and in need of grounding. To be thrown into a subspace that helps me deal with my life has been my go-to coping mechanism.
Big Boy, hot stuff, beast… she’s called me several names as I have her. We never discussed honorifics. That’s another glitch in my carefully constructed code with Mak. But it didn’t seem to matter.