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She looks up at me from the floor, her hazel eyes hooded with lust. Her face is right at my waistline. I hold my breath. Will she pull my boxers down next?
In silence, Mak runs her hands along my waistline—my greatest weakness, my worst character flaw, my kryptonite—and she kisses every soft inch of me.
I groan as my heart shatters and knees buckle. “Cupcake.”
Chapter 28
Mak
I figured this would happen. I pushed his boundaries, and he tapped out.
“I’m proud of you.” Cupping his face, I kiss his forehead.
Carson’s on his knees and wraps his arms around me. Anger and panic make him tremble. “Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“You did really well,” I say, running my fingers through his hair. He’s so hot, his skin is clammy. Being touched really is a hard thing for him. Even if he’s snuggly and physical every time we’re together, I now realize it’s because it’s been on his terms all along.
He wasn’t ready for me to do what I did just now.
He likely thought I was going to spring his dick free and suck him off or something.
But I went for his weak spot, the beast’s underbelly, and instead of poking fun at it… I adored it. I cherished it.
Which is what he deserves.
Carson’s entire body shakes as he holds me tight. He’s not crying, but I think that’s only because he’s trying his best not to. I would never judge someone for their hangups. We all have them. And in this society, it’s almost mandatory that men be strong and not care about their body image.
But it’s clear Carson doesn’t fit in that mold. He’s the most real person I think I’ve ever met. Hell, even my best friend Leah has struggles that she fakes her way through.
“I’m so sorry,” he says once he calms down.
“Don’t ever apologize for how you feel, Carson. You did so good with something that’s really hard. Be proud of yourself.”
He stifles back a groan and tries to stand. I step back to give him space to do so. “Jesus Christ, I can’t stop fucking shaking.” He runs a trembling hand through his hair, swiping it out of his face. Dropping back on the mattress, he’s still struggling to breathe. “I fucking broke.” It’s like he can’t comprehend what just happened. “I can’t feel my feet.” He snatches me by the waist and holds me again. “I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“You deserve better.”
Now I’m mad. “You know what I deserve? A man who makes me happy.”
“Absolutely.”
“You make me happy, Carson.”
His arms tighten around me. “I’m fucked in the head, Mak. I might make you happy sometimes, but it won’t be all the time.”
“Well, that’s good. I’d hate for life to get boring and predictable.”
He chokes out a laugh. “I’m serious.”
“So am I.” I grip his hair and pull so he has to look up at me. “I deserve someone who will treat me right and loves me for exactly who I am. And so do you.” I bend down and kiss him with all my might. It’s not sweet and gentle. It’s hard and complex and greedy and dominating.
When I break away, he groans and confesses, “I think I’m falling in love with you.”
Now it’s my turn to freeze on the spot.
“It’s too soon for that, I know…” he says. “But I can’t get you out of my head, Mak. I tried to back off and give you space, but the two weeks we didn’t see each other killed me. I want to spoil you and cherish you and protect you and provide for you. It makes me feel like a fucking caveman.”