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My heart swoons.
Carson shakes his head. “I’ve broken every rule I have since the instant I saw your profile on that app. Every. Single. Rule. Mak. It scares me that I’ve done that.”
“Why? Rules should be broken sometimes if the circumstances are right.”
He stands and cups my face, holding me even as I step back a little to give him room again. “Rules are there to keep us safe.” His brown eyes bore into mine. “To keep me safe.”
And he broke them all for me.
“I feel like I can be myself with you, Mak, and I can honestly say I’ve never experienced that in my life. Not even with Lauren.”
I don’t mind that he’s bringing her up again. I suspect she has a lot to do with his past pain. He might not have been enough for her, but he’s exactly enough for me.
“It took years of therapy and hard work to get myself to a better headspace. I’m proud of the way I look for the most part, but sometimes I catch myself off guard and the progress I’ve made vanishes until all I see are the worst pieces of myself. The ones that, no matter how much work I put in, I’ll never get rid of.”
I’m sure working with models isn’t helpful—especially now that I think back to a lot of the covers on his shelf. All those abs. All those “perfect men.” I’ve had some hangups with myself over the years, but for the most part, I accepted my fate and rolled with it. I like myself just as I am.
I want that for Carson too.
Pushing him down on the bed, I crawl on top and straddle him. “Let me love you.” I gently kiss his mouth. “Let me show you what your body does to mine.” I drag my hands down his chest, feeling his belly quiver when I touch it. “Let me give you everything you’ve always deserved.”
I take off my shirt and bare my heart to him while I wait for his answer.
Chapter 29
Carson
I’m not sure what I did in my life to get the universe to gift me this woman. She once mentioned that her friends called her Mak Truck and I get why. She’ll likely plow over your hangups like a semi and drag you along until you either let go or hang on.
I’m hanging on.
With my hands on her hips, I kiss her like my salvation depends on it. I can smell her arousal. Her body doesn’t lie. She’s been attracted to me from the very beginning—when we stretched together on those stupid yoga mats.
And she’s been that way every time we’ve been together.
She used photos of me to get off with.
She can’t keep her hands or gaze off me when we’re together.
She uses terms like “Big Boy” as an endearment, and I never once felt like shit hearing it.
I am a big boy. I also have a big heart. And Mak’s the keeper of it, whether it’s against my rules or not.
She slides down my body, peppering it with kisses until she’s back to my weak spot. I hold my breath, my gaze locked on hers as my mind scrambles to figure out what she’s going to do this time. Relief swarms me when she hooks my waistband with her dainty fingers and tugs my boxers off.
My dick’s only a chub because I’m too rattled to think straight.
“Close your eyes,” she says, then sucks the head of my cock into her mouth.
I growl. She feels amazing on me. Hot, wet, and hungry—her lips slide up and down my length until I’m fully erect and about to snap. “I love your mouth on me, Mak.”
She licks it from base to tip. “I love my mouth on you too.” Running her hands across my stomach, I fight the instinct to catch her wrists and stop her. “You have no idea what you do to me, Carson.”
My eyes crack open a sliver to look at her again. “Show me.”
Mak climbs up my body, leaving another trail of hot kisses in her wake and sits on her throne: My face.
Her panties are soaked. Her scent is mind-bending. Rubbing my nose against the fabric, I love how wet she already is. “This all for me?”