Page 55 of Save Us
“Beth!” Annie cries, so I pull her in to hug her too.
“Surprise!” I say sadly before pulling back and wiping at my face to rid myself of all the excess moisture.
“Where have you been?” Annie repeats Bodhi’s question.
I find myself squeezing my eyes shut and taking in a large breath of air before I can even attempt to answer that question.
“With him,” Bodhi answers for me, “you sacrificed yourself and went with Lawrence, didn’t you?” I nod as I shudder with more tears, realizing just how much I gave up to keep everyone else safe. “Oh, water baby,” he sighs as he pulls me in again.
I don’t know how long we stand like this for, but I know I’m on borrowed time. I eventually force myself to pull away to ask Annie if I can clean myself up and maybe change into one of her hippy outfits before Xander gets here. Even though they spy the blood on me, they choose not to ask, which I’m more than grateful for. I have too much else to think about without going into what I was witness to last night.
After a warm shower, where I had washed away the last bloody remnants of my late husband, Annie hands me one of her more conservative numbers while I dry my hair. I smile, feeling clean for the first time in hours, maybe in years. It’s a long black spaghetti strapped dress, the youngest piece of clothing I’ve worn since Oliver took me from the hospital. The shock of my reflection has me nervously laughing for I look so different. She doesn’t question my strange outburst, just laughs with me, like she used to. I notice her taking a moment or two to look at my scars, the ones that will always be there. My forever tainted skin will always remind me of his mark on me, both on the inside and out. We eye each other through the reflection in the mirror, though thankfully, she just smiles uncomfortably, and once again chooses not to say anything.
While we wait for Leo and Xander to arrive, Bodhi and Annie watch me like I’m some sort of alien. It’s weird and unsettling, but I guess their reaction to me is to be expected. When I hear the screech of tires on gravel, I feel more than ready to get up and see if it’s them. However, before I’ve even had a chance to get outside the door, the car pulls away again. My heart is pounding, and my breathing is erratic, so I decide to do something to try and settle my nerves. I listen to the waves in the background and take a few steps toward the water, where I stare out at its vivid blueness.
“I’ve missed it,” I say to no one in particular, “I was never allowed near the ocean when I was with him.”
“Then let me take you to meet her again,” Bodhi says, suddenly standing next to me with a smile that lets me know he completely understands.
We walk out toward the water where the surf tickles at my toes. A gentle breeze has the slightly too big dress billowing around my legs, and I grin widely at the water bubbling and frolicking all around my ankles.
“What have you been through, Beth?” Bodhi finally asks me.
“Too much to talk about now, Bodhi,” I whisper. I continue to splash my feet in the water, enjoying myself too much to want to go into all of it now.
“She looks just like you,” he says as he takes my hand and begins to lead us further out so that the water is knee-deep, and the fabric is clinging to my skin in a deliciously calming way. “She’s amazing, a real water baby, just like her mom.”
“I’m not her mum though, am I?” I sigh while staring out at the horizon. “I’m just a stranger who gave birth to her.”
“You gave her up to keep her safe, Beth.” Bodhi smiles out at the same spot I’m staring at. “I’d say that is being a real mom.”
“I’m scared, Bodhi,” I whisper before swallowing back fresh fits of tears, “more afraid than I ever was with Oliver. I’m terrified!”
Chapter 22
Xander
Work has blown up over the Lawrence murder story, but thankfully, Stephen arrived home last night and has taken control of it from me. He forced me to stay at home, telling me I was far too close to the story to be able to report objectively. Of course, I argued, called him a few names I’m not proud of, before conceding to his orders and busying myself with normal daily routines, like taking my daughter to school. I’m feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation, but the last thing I want to happen is for Rosie to pick up on my weird anxiety. I always thought I’d feel elated if Lawrence went down, but I don’t. If anything, it feels like a gut-wrenching blow to my stomach because it means Beth is truly gone. That chapter of my life is officially over; I have to let it go. But I’m not ready.
A loud knock at the door throws me off my troubled thoughts and I welcome it. Swinging myself off my chair, I pace through the home office and toward the hallway, still donning my suit for work. When I open the door, I’m more than aware that I’m wearing a sort of half-smile, half-pissed-off expression on my face. The man on the other side is weirdly familiar, but it takes me a while to place him, given that he’s not in the usual uniform I only ever remember seeing him wearing.
“Leo?” I frown while he rubs anxiously at the back of his broad neck.
“Xander,” he smiles sheepishly in greeting, “I’m guessing you’ve heard about Lawrence?”
“Yeah, I’ve heard,” I reply, crossing my arms defensively for I have no idea why he’s here. “Did Fox send you over?”
“No,” he replies, now standing up straight to his full, Hulk-like figure. “Angela was wondering if you might come and meet her. She’s at the beach; I can take you to her.”
“Really? Er…sure, I guess,” I fluster. I was under the impression Jonah would have whisked her away by now. “She’s not with Fox?
“Nah, man, she’s here, and she’s waiting to see you. You ready?” He looks like he wants to smile about something I don’t yet know but is holding back. It’s beyond unsettling, but also intriguing, so I grab my keys and my phone before walking out with him.
“Lead the way,” I say as I gesture toward his old truck.
It surprises me when we pull up at Bodhi’s neck of the beach, but it shocks me even more when I see who I believe to be Angela standing in the water with the man himself. Both are up to their knees in the flat calm ocean. I frown over their casual and jovial interactions, then look at Leo who just smiles sheepishly before getting out to walk in their direction. Shaking my head, I step outside the truck and begin to follow him, even though I’m not exactly dressed for walking over sand dunes.
Shading my eyes from the bright sunlight, I look over at the woman who I had spoken to not too long ago, and I get chills. Not only does she look like Beth from behind - same hair, same frame, same stature – she also gives off this aura that is all Beth. As we get closer to the water’s edge, I notice Annie is also standing in the surf, now looking at me with tears in her eyes. Just before I reach her, she runs up and throws her arms around me. I hug her back but still with a confused look all over my face.