Page 56 of Save Us

“What’s wrong, Ann-”

And then she turns.

The girl in the black dress, Angela Lawrence, turns around, and I take in such a breath, I forget to let it out again. Instead, I drop to my knees, not giving a shit about the water soaking through my clothes and let out a loud whimpering sound from the back of my throat. Am I imagining this? Is that…

“It’s Beth, Xander,” Annie weeps from beside me, “it’s our Beth!”

Silent tears spill down my face, tears I didn’t even know were already there. I am feeling so fucked up right now; I don’t even know if this is real or not. Bodhi begins walking toward me, but the girl who they’re telling me is Beth, remains rooted in the ocean. And I. Can’t. Fucking. Move.

“Our water baby is back, man,” Bodhi beams when he approaches me, “Xander, she’s back!”

“Wh…I…is…fuck!” I cry before throwing my hands over my face, just staring at the lost-looking girl in the ocean between my fingers.

Suddenly, without knowing how, I’m on my feet and running.

Beth

“Xander,” I whisper to myself as I watch him running away from me and back toward the road.

I was so stupid to think he wouldn’t react like this, that he might be relieved and happy to see me. This whole situation is all kinds of messed up. Bodhi shouts out for him to stop, just as Leo looks over at me with worry etched all over his papa bear features. Within moments, he is striding across to me as quickly as he can over the resistant waves, picking me up, and carrying me out of the ocean before I can fall deep into the water and let it consume me.

“He’s just in shock, sweetheart…he’s just…Christ, Beth!” he sputters before enveloping me back inside of his arms.

“I’m so tired, Leo,” I mutter as my mind begins to blur, fogging over with exhaustion, “so very tired.”

“Here, let me take her back to our place, she must be exhausted,” Annie offers as she places a protective arm around my shoulders to help guide me back to their hut. Once inside, she leads me straight over to a make-shift bed where I gratefully pass out, feeling more than happy to leave the world behind me.

Xander

I run so fucking fast I don’t even realize where I’m running to until I get home. I strip off my sweaty, salty-covered clothes and jump into the shower, where I begin having what feels like a coronary and panic attack, all in one go. What the fuck just happened? Was she real? Was I having one of my hallucinations? Have I finally lost the plot? If she is real, then where the hell has she been?

After coming to no rational conclusion inside of the water, I jump out and begin pacing around with just a towel wrapped around my hips, still trying to figure it all out. Beth died; there was a death certificate, a morbid photograph, and a baby without a mother. And even if Lawrence had conjured up fake documents, why the hell did the nurse who we had befriended tell us all that she was dead? Was she that fucking psycho? Then it dawns on me; Beth made her do it.

A thump on the door tells me her goon of a bodyguard is here, and he is not happy, not one little bit from the sounds of it. I shove on a pair of jeans and whatever t-shirt I can find before running down the steps, two at a time, to answer it. Not happy is a very big understatement. He looks like he wants to rip my throat out and bury me alongside Lawrence, and so does Bodhi from the scowl on his face. Great, considering they’re both built like the Hulk on a steroid-pumped day.

“Come in,” I say to them tight-lipped and gesture for them both to enter the house so they can probably beat me to shit.

Surprisingly, however, they both sit down silently and watch me pace back and forth in front of them. I must look psychotic, given my hands are put together as if in prayer before my lips, and I’m puffing out jets of air every few seconds. Still, they just continue to watch me while I freak out before their eyes.

“What’s going through your head, Z?” Bodhi asks, trying to be calm, even though I can clearly pick up on his frustrated tone. Hell, I’m pissed at myself! I’m more than aware of the fact I’m not exactly handling this well.

“Fuck knows!” I mutter as I continue tracing a line into the marble flooring. “I’m freaking the fuck out is what I’m doing. I mean, is she real? Is Beth real?” I gasp while pointing out to the general vicinity of the outdoors. “Cos I’ve got to admit, I’ve imagined her being here a lot over the years. I just thought I was grieving but am I actually going nuts?! Cos she looked real to me!”

“She’s real, Xander,” Leo sighs, then looks to his feet. “I’ve been there the whole time. She’s, well, she’s been through a lot.”

“And I haven’t?!” I snap angrily. “I had to tell her parents that their daughter had died giving birth to my child; I had to attend a memorial to say goodbye to her; I had to bring up our child alone; I had to explain to our little girl that she couldn’t have her mommy because she was dead!”

“At least you got to live, Xander!” Leo argues, sounding just as angry while standing up tall and jabbing his finger out toward me. “Just because she didn’t literally die that day doesn’t mean she’s been living! Believe me, I’ve had to talk her down off a ledge more than once. The only thing that stopped her was the belief that if she went, Carl would come looking for Rosie, you, and Riley.”

“She tried to kill herself?” I ask with a shaky voice.

“Look, this isn’t my story to tell,” Leo replies sadly, “just go and see her. She’s devastated after you ran away.”

“Fuck!” I shout as I place both my hands over my face and drop my head down to try and stop myself from passing out. “I just…I couldn’t…” I pause to force myself to stand up straight and blow out a hot stream of air, if only to try and clear my head a little. “She was so real I couldn’t face her not really being there. I freaked!”

“Yeah, we got that, Z,” Bodhi chuckles, “but now it’s time to go and face her.”

Placing my hands on my hips, I ignore the dizziness in my head, and slowly nod in agreement.