Page 70 of Chase
Theo steps in front of me in a protective manner. The scene is so surreal; I feel as if I might throw up at any moment. Who in their right mind would picture their boyfriend’s adoptive mother actually being your biological mother and auntie? It’s too much to handle, too much to comprehend.
“Theo,” she repeats with her breath hitching, “please?”
Theo turns around to look at me, seeking my permission as to what to do next. For a moment or two, I can’t think clearly enough to give him an answer that makes any kind of sense. He sees me struggling, so takes my hands inside of his, leans his forehead against mine, and whispers, “It’s all up to you, Iz, this time it’s your choice.”
I shut my eyes tightly and nod slowly. He kisses me on my forehead and then moves to one side, allowing Frankie and I to come face to face.
She places her hand up to my cheek and smiles, but I soon shake it off, silently telling her she’s gone a step too far. She drops her arm, then looks to the floor in shame. I fight hard to keep myself from giving into this woman who used to offer me as much comfort as her son used to; now I know why – guilt. Guilt for leaving her child, her baby, in the gutter with the rats to feed from. Instead, I scrape a chair noisily across the floor and throw myself in it; she does the same, only without the dramatic noise. Nonna and Theo both remain quiet in the background, as do I as I cross my arms and wait for her to begin talking first. I watch as she tries to open her mouth to speak a few times, only to stop herself.
“Izzy,” she whispers so quietly, it’s hard to hear, “I am so, so sorry for leaving you all those years ago.” I almost laugh at these words, these small, small words. But instead, I bite my lips together and continue to give her nothing. “Your uncle and I used to live in the same village as your parents. Wyatt got a contract abroad and asked your father to watch over me. I was looking after Theo all by myself and he was worried I might not cope.”
I glance at Theo, but he is looking up at the ceiling, shaking his head with disbelief. This must be incredibly hard for him to hear too. Frankie shifts uncomfortably in her chair, bringing my attention back to her.
“We started forming a relationship, which I guess turned into more than a brother and sister-in-law one should be. One night, we kissed a little too intimately and before either of us knew it, we were both in bed together.” She bites her top lip and closes her eyes tightly in what looks like shame. “We never meant for it to go as far as it did. Your father had said he was in love with me, but I confessed everything to Wyatt.”
“I thought you couldn’t have children?” I ask before swallowing back tears that are threatening to spill at any minute.
“When Wyatt agreed to give me another chance, everything settled down. But a month later, I found out I was pregnant…with you. As it turns out, it was Wyatt who couldn’t have children, not me. I knew he would want me to terminate, so I kept quiet, pretended I was putting on weight because I could no longer exercise with a young toddler to look after.” She tries to laugh over the memory of Theo being a tot, but I just continue to glare at her. “By the time it came out, I was already too far gone to terminate. Wyatt was heartbroken. He said he couldn’t stay with me knowing that I was carrying his brother’s child, the child he couldn’t give me himself. He said Theo was our child, not the one growing inside of me.”
At this point, Theo suddenly gets to his feet and begins to pace around uncomfortably. I wonder if he is thinking about me thinking about him after hearing this. Does he think I blame him at all? The thought has me tightening up with even more anger, knowing this could easily risk what we have only just found again.
“Go on,” I mutter through clenched teeth.
“Your father and I were given an ultimatum, either he keep the baby and bring it up as his and Alex’s, or I lose my husband and my son.” She breathes out slowly and shakily, tears now streaming down her face. “It took me a month to make my decision, Izzy, a month of watching Theo grow and my husband break in front of me. In the end, I realized that if he left me, I would be bringing you up on my own, without a lot of money to my name. I thought, given the circumstances, it was best for your father have you, to give you a life that would be better than I could ever provide.”
That last sentence has me flying to my feet, ready to flee to wherever is the furthest away from here. I am so angry with this woman and her telling me that she gave me up for my benefit; I want to vomit again. Theo blocks my exit before taking me inside of his arms even though I’m still fighting to get free of him. It forces me to stay and fight, to turn and face her with all the fury bursting to get out of me.
“Better life?!” I yell with bitterness. “Better life?! You saw how they treated me! You knew my life was miserable and yet you did nothing! You said nothing, I hate you. You should have aborted me when you had the chance, it would have been a lot kinder than what you did to me!”
I’m trying to force Theo’s arms apart so I can attack the bitch in front of me. He senses this is going nowhere but downhill, so hoists me over his shoulder. I thrash about, but it has little effect.
“You tell her, you tell her everything!” he says to Nonna, who is now comforting a weeping Frankie; her tears have no effect on me however, I meant every word, I hate her.
Theo marches us out the door and away from there. He doesn’t put me down until we’re safely at his car where he puts me down and holds on tight until I go limp from exhaustion. Only then does he release me.
“Izzy, talk to me, Iz,” he pleads, shaking me a little as I stare into the oblivion of shit that lays before me.
“I…I…I’m like your stepsister!” I cry before covering my eyes with both hands and let that sliver of gross information slip in. Theo laughs before pulling me back into his strong arms. “How could she have left me there, Theo? How could they lie to me for all these years? I just…I don’t…how can I process all of this?”
“I don’t know, Iz. Fuck, I’m just as shocked as you are,” he sighs sadly. “Let’s go back home and see to that furball of yours; calm down a little before trying to even think about how to handle all this.”
I nod sadly because he’s right, this is too much to take in. It’s still too raw. What I do know, however, is he’s still here. He hasn’t run, which surely means, given everything, he never will.
_____
Theo
As soon as we’re back home, my home in fact, we both wander into the house in a daze, still feeling shell shocked by my mother’s revelations. I decide to show Izzy around the new security system I’ve had installed, including cameras in all the rooms, except the bathrooms and main bedroom. There’s also a new intercom system, including cameras to show who is at each outside door. It is both a safety measure and a means of collecting any evidence should Ethan decide to ignore my warning and return.
I’m not sure how much of my rambling Izzy takes in, for I think her mind is unsurprisingly elsewhere. She seems much too preoccupied in seeking refuge in the fluffy dog that follows her around like she’s the moon and stars, all in one. Stella was definitely one of Mom’s better ideas; it’s a shame she’s made some epically bad decisions in the past.
We then spend the rest of the evening in front of the fire; Izzy watches the flames with a hypnotic look in her eyes, all the while Stella sprawls out, resembling a rug. I pull Izzy against me as I lie behind her, lost in my own thoughts over the woman I call ‘Mom’. Neither of us talk beyond the odd perfunctory comment, but hopefully my being with her is support enough.
The sound of my phone ringing breaks us out of our silence, even the dog gets up with a half-hearted wag of her tail. I look at the caller ID and huff loudly, but the son in me can’t just ignore her.
“Mom?” I say in a voice laced with so many emotions, I’m not sure what it conveys overall. Izzy turns back toward the fire and curls herself up even more tightly than before.
“Theo, I know I’m the last person that either of you want to talk to right now, but your grandmother…well, I’m afraid she hasn’t got much time left,” she says with a sad sigh. “The doctor says it’s likely to be a matter of hours. Please come, she wants to see you both one last time.”